Fantastically named Urge to Kill (1989), the final movie of Derek Ford, produced by a WM regular Dick Randall (Don’t Open Till Christmas, Pieces) never got a proper release in cinemas (or even an official VHS) – but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth discussing. In fact it just might be the opposite.
Why is she green, again?
Movie starts with Peter Gordeno playing a hard- partying 80s record producer named Bono Zorro (!!!) who also has an unlikely interest in artificial intelligence (more about this soon).
During a late night working at the studio he finds a hot blond Melanie (Sally-Anne Balaam) hiding among the instruments (what are the odds), turns out she’s an up and coming singer hopeful that he would listen to her demo tape. He doesn’t but decides to take her home instead (after a bit of a striptease routine ofc).
Surprises continue as it turns out Zorro lives in a penthouse completely controlled by a state of the art (like we said) artificial intelligence Central Environment Control System aka S.E.X.Y. (acronyms aren’t his strong suit). Maybe one day people will learn we shouldn’t give all the control over to the machines.
After spending the night together Zorro rushes out of the apartment and leaves Candy alone- with a big remote controller for his A.I. She gets bored and calls her roommate Julie to come over.
She gives her some massage and a leaves her in a tanning bed while taking a shower all under the watchful (and jealous) eye of S.E.X.Y. That of course proves to be fatal. And if exploding boobs weren’t enough for her S.E.X.Y.burns Melanie turning a regular shower into an acid bath!
Laser to the nipple is a nasty way to die!
In the meantime Zorro visits his main girl Jane. He tells her he has a groupie back in the apartment and that he’d like her to meet her. Now, for a man living a life of debauchery Zorro seems enthusiastic about women like he’s a teenager. He tries to call her but S.E.X.Y. blows him over and says that it doesn’t compute.
When they arrive back (this movie isn’t rich with locations) they find an empty apartment but we do get his surveillance footage of two girls playing around. Plot important stuff for sure. Now, to help cure his disappointment Jane makes a call for some new bimbos and in no time a dominatrix lady Tiga and her subordinate show up, but honestly they are a downgrade compared to the first pair.
After their little performance Zorro takes a bubble bath with two of the ladies while Tiga goes to the bathroom and bizarrely gets killed by a electric toothbrush. This might be the first time I see something like that in a movie. S.E.X.Y. makes Zorro pass out and drown helpless Susan. Jane arrives in time to save him but then completely freaks out after finding detached female arms in the bath (happens to everyone)
S.E.X.Y. even manifests physically as a green, alien looking woman
Movie descents into madness with call girls having a cat fight with a mud- wrestling video in the background. Zorro loses his mind while Jane tries to escape by attacking the computer with a butcher knife (always a good idea). Unfortunately S.E.X.Y. doesn’t go down without a fight.
Verdict: If you’re into 80s synth music and aesthetic, sleazy and old SF this just might be the film for you. It definitely delivers on all of those fronts, now where it falters is long sequences of people just talking or making phone calls and at some point movie does get repetitive and starts to feel like a giant fever dream. But those are the limitation of Z level productions. Still, an (almost) single location erotic horror centered around an evil computer is a hell of an idea– you got to give them that! Someone should definitely revisit that concept in the future.
...and I can’t believe this lady never made another movie!
PS In fact if Gene Simmons of KISS ever wants to get back to acting ( after Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die and cult Japanese Detroit Metal City) he should snap the rights for this one, I can totally envision him as a sleazy record producer B.Zorro and his wife Shannon Tweed as his main squeeze Jane.
Worsemovies 