Long- gestating Full Moon project directed by the late special effect wizard David Allen is finally out in cinemas this weekend. So, let’s take a step back and see how this unique project came to be and why it took so long.
The Primevals has origins in another project, Raiders of the Stone Ring that was developed in the 60s for British Hammer Films. Later it was re- developed as Primordium or The Glacial Empire in the 1970s but it still struggled to find financing until Charles Band (Empire Pictures, Full Moon) took an interest. Unfortunately the project again stalled but Bandpushed through and finally managed to secure the financing in the early 90s and movie was finally filmed in Romania and Italian Dolemites in 1994. Allen planned to work on stop- motion effects for two or three years, inspired by the old Ray Harryhausen classics (The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, Clash of the Titans) . Unfortunately 14 months later he fell ill and tragically passed in 1999 without completing his magnum opus.
Full Moon also suffered financial difficulties after separation from Paramount Home Video which further delayed the project. But Allen did leave all storyboards and stop-motion puppets to his colleague Chris Endicott who on and off worked on finishing the movie. And after many years and 2018 Indiegogo campaign movie was finally finished (although in a slightly truncated form) in 2020 and after a festival run The Primevals is now out in limited release- Alamo Drafthouse theaters (you can check listings right hereto see if there’s a showing near you).
Long wait is (almost) over! The ultimate 80s Martial Arts movie tribute The Last Kumite featuring Mathis Landwehr, Cynthia Rothrock, Matthias Hues, Kurt McKinney, Billy Blanks , Michel Qissi & David Yeung is available on Digital May 14, 2024 and on Blu-Ray and DVD June 11, 2024.
You can enjoy the full trailer bellow:
“When Karate champion Michael Rivers (Mathis Landwehr) wins the last tournament of his career, shady businessman Ron Hall (Matthias Hues) offers him the opportunity to fight in an illegal, deadly Kumite in Bulgaria with the world’s best martial artists. Michael declines, only to find out later that his daughter Bree has been kidnapped and that in order to rescue her, he is left with no other option but to fight in the deadly tournament. When he finally gets to Bulgaria, he finds out that he is not the only fighter whose loved one got taken. Now, in order to beat the undefeated Kumite Champion Dracko, Michael trains with Master Loren (Billy Blanks), and Dracko’s former Sensei, Julie Jackson (Cynthia Rothrock). But will it be enough for him to win the tournament and save his daughter’s life?“
…and if this one does good producers promise us the next one will be- The Last American Ninja!!! Can you imagine how crazy the cast would be for that one. Maybe they could bring Sho Kosugi back from the (Ninja) retirement, Michael Dudikoff is still out there doing movies so he’s probably available and who knows maybe they could even find my personal favorite- David Bradley?
After a successful Kickstarter campaign for the Deathstalkercomicbook (via Vault Comics/ Slash Presents) we could sense a possibility of a new Deathstalker moviein an air. If fact the comic was first sign of life for the Roger Corman- created property in more than 33 years!
And now it comes to pass– newDeathstalker movie is in pre- production and about to start filming very, very soon.
Hopefully the official poster will look exactly like this
Stalwart of the 90s Martial Arts cinema (Bloodsport II,True Vengence, Perfect Target) Bernhardt transitioned into more of a badass villain roles in ’00s starting with Matrix Reloaded all up to John Wick, Parker, Atomic Blond and most recently Extraction 2. In recent years he also branched out as a Action Choreographer working on such films as Creed 2, Nobody and again Extraction 2.
Filming is about to start in late April written and directed by Steven Kostanski (Psycho Goreman, The Void) and I sure hope someone saved those pigmen costumes, ’cause it wouldn’t be a Deathstalker movie without them! (Hopefully the OG DeathstalkerRick Hill can make an appearance too.)
After successful games based on the classic 80s slasher properties like Friday the 13th and The Chainsaw Massacre ( that’s coincidentally just about to add a Barbara CramptonDLC )- another 80s horror gem is about to join them. That of course is a game based on the cultChiodo Bros. feature Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988). And keeping with the format it will also be an asymmetrical multiplayer game.
For those who somehow missed it-Killer Klowns is the only feature film written and directed by special effects legends- The Chiodo Bros and it features a clan of evil aliens who look suspiciously like our Earthclowns (with an interest in hunting us down, killing us and harvesting our organs- just like regular clowns too!)
Pre- order starts today,February21st with the game available onSteam, PS5 and Xbox X/S on June 4th. You can also enjoy the full trailer bellow via IGN:
And who knows, maybe this renewed interest will kickstart the franchise and we’ll finally get a sequel movie or a TV show that’s been in developmentfor decades now. But until then:
This holiday season wraps up this time with Santa Claws, which is probably worse than the previous film, Christmas Evil, if you can believe it. It’s quite sad, really. Santa Claws looked like it was only a label away from being considered a Troma release. It promised senseless violence, gratuitous nudity, and even a starring role by Troma fave Debbie Rochon. But alas, it was not to be.
As the movie begins, we see kid Wayne (played by Grant Kramer) stumbling around the house while his mother is in bed with some fat guy wearing Santa’s cap. Apparently, the fat guy is kid’s uncle who drugged him so he can have some fun with his mother. But Wayne wakes up from slumber, finds his late father’s gun and shoot them both. I must point out that I have never seen such flat acting from people who were supposed to beg for their lives. Kid gets arrested and thrown into juvenile until he is 18. Then he gets to walk free. And there, folks, is your killer. It’s a premise stolen from every previous Santa slasher film ever made, and yet manages to be even lazier at establishing the killer’s character than any previous incarnation.
Merry Christmas from Uncle Joe
Some decades later, Wayne is now a grown-up with a terrifying little pedophile beard, buggy psycho eyes and large porn collection. Somehow, this does not invalidate him from being good friends with his neighbor Raven Quinn (played by Debbie Rochon). Raven is the big star at the local T&A video studio, where they’re currently shooting Scream Queens’ Naked Christmas, which actually exists. Her husband Eric (played by John Mowod) is a real shithead who cheats on her whenever he gets the chance. Wayne has a huge crush on Raven, and when we meet him, he’s just purchased a latex bust of his favorite star, which he talks to in the finest crazy movie psycho tradition.
Naked Christmas
Also, there’s a whole lot of drama about how Eric’s mom (played by Marilyn Eastman) and sister (played by Julie Wallace) disapprove of Raven’s lifestyle, and how Eric is screwing the girl he’s doing a holiday-themed photo shoot with. Finally, after 31 horrifyingly long minutes, Wayne finally goes to the studio to start killing all of Raven’s competition, including the director. Then he disposes of bodies by burying them under the snow in the middle of day. Of course, no one noticed him.
At some point, Wayne’s intermittent attempts to kill porn stars switches to Wayne’s intermittent attempts to kill porn stars while dressed as Santa Claus, which may have been triggered by his constant flashbacks to his mom and his fat uncle. With the Santa costume on, Wayne goes after another of Raven’s scream queen coworkers, attacking her in her house. After he’s been firmly established as the Santa Claus killer, he decides he needs to color his costume black, apparently so it will coordinate with his mask. His method for doing so? Spray Paint.
While Wayne is doing all the bloody job for her (including babysitting of her two brats and killing Raven’s in-laws), Raven decides to give it another shot with Eric. This really pisses off Wayne who comes after both of them. And ever-so-realistically, Wayne gets a long and drawn-out scene where he gets to tell his potential victims all about his life and why he’s the nutcase that he is today. Classic case of serial killer egoism. Anyway, during the fight, they pushed Wayne down the stairs in what appears to be one of the most comical scenes in this smoking pile of shit. Of course, this didn’t affected our killer because he is insane. Wayne gets the goods on Eric, stabbing him with the fork o’doom in the shoulder and then trying to plow it into Eric’s head. Raven gets the upper hand, though, when she rams the tool into Wayne’s throat, presumable ending his reign of terror. And that would be it. Not even the last words. The ending of the film shows Eric, Raven, and their kids enjoying a happy Christmas together, despite the whole divorce thing that was being teased the whole movie. The kids even get their very own Scream Studios jackets, showing just how thoughtful their parents are to begin with.
Conclusion: What makes the suckitude of Santa Claws even more disappointing is the fact that it’s the product of John Russo, who was one of the creators of the original Night of the Living Dead along with George Romero. Of course, since then, he’s been relegated to doing movies that aspire to be C-movies, but he’s still one of the guys responsible for one of the greatest horror movies to ever be made. But this movie still sucks rotten ass. The story is scant. The acting is uniformly bad. “Walls” wobble when struck, and we can glimpse where they don’t connect to the ceiling. And the special effects are laughably poor. Unlike many slashers, this killer sticks to only one implement, a relatively mild-looking garden rake. He hits people with it, leaving small red dots, which we are supposed to think are gashes. All of the actresses in this film appear to have had massive breast implants (which makes them great actresses). In essence, if you’re in the mood to completely wreck what’s left of a horrible Christmas season, then this is the movie to watch. Otherwise, leave it the hell alone.
Earlier this year we reported about David “Bolo Jr.” Yeung‘s casting in the 80’s and 90’sMartial Arts tribute The Last Kumite but now we have something even better, the first trailer for the movie.
Released today via ComingSoon.net The Last Kumitetrailer promises everything from the deadly duels to the classic training montages with (almost) all the actors you remember from the old VHS rental days, actors like: Cynthia Rothrock (No Retreat, No Surrender 2), Billy Blanks (The Kings of Kickboxers), Matthias Hues (Dark Angel), Michel Qissi (Kickboxer) and Kurt McKinney (No Retreat, No Surrender).
And the hero Rivers is played by the German action star Mathis Landwehr (Lasko – Die Faust Gottes).
So, without further ado, let’s take a trip back down the memory lane and enjoy one Last Kumite:
With us finally getting the long awaited (for more than 16 years!!!) Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving it’s also a good time to look back at the other crazy and entertainingThanksgiving slasher, made long before that awesome Grindhouse trailer.
Of course I’m talking about the Blood Rage, originally shot in 1983 and unreleased for years movie has the equal measure of over the top performances, gory effects and f’d up family relationships (that lead to the said gore) so you know you’re in for a wild ride with this one.
Movie starts at the Drive-In. Twin boys bored by their mother latest hook-up sneak out of the car. One of them finds a hatchet andthen freaking destroys some random shirtless dudemaking out with a girl in his car with it. You’d expect him to put up more of a fight against a 8 year old but nope. Then he does what anybrother would do and blames it on his twin by giving him a hatchet. Todd is too shocked by what he just saw to say anything.
Kid may be a murdering psycho but he’s got a nice swing!
10 years later Todd is finally out of his catatonic state and starts remembering what happened. His psychologist tries to explain the new situation to Mrs. Maddy but it doesn’t go all that great. Tom is yelling “Get me out of here, I never killed anybody” but also throwing stuff, so it doesn’t look that good for him.
Terry in the meantime is living his best life in collage, that’s until at the Thanksgiving table his mother declares that she is getting married again- to her new man Brad. Terry is looses his mind right away and the evil music plays while he congratulates them both. And then- the impossible happens, mom gets a phone call from the insane asylum informing her that Tom has escaped. All hope she had of a nice, peaceful Thanksgiving seems to go up in flames. At least the turkey was good.
His murderous urge fully restored Terry starts killing again, and of course his stepfather to be (and owner of the whole Shadow Woods apartment complex) Brad is the first on the chopping block. He chops his hand with a machete and then splits his head open. He will of course blame it all on Todd (like in the good old days).
Never let go of your drink no matter what!
Dr. Berman (female Dr.Loomis of this movie if you will) and her assistant Jackie arrive soon to search for Todd but they are unfortunately both quickly disposed off by Terry. Then he just changes his bloody clothes and joins his neighbor Andrea who’s babysiting. Todd finally finds his way home but he bumps into Karen (Terry’s friend), she of course mistakes him for his brother but the upon learning the truth starts running like crazy. She tells Terry and the rest of the gang what happened and Terry goes out looking for his brother while the rest of gang all stay at Andrea’s house party (teenagers will teenage no matter what).
Todd finds Doctor’s lifeless body and has enough of his wits about him to take the gun from her. Terry continues racking up a body count, he kills Julie‘s parents then murders Gregg and Andrea by the pool. Artie then finds those bodies but with Todd who tries to explain that he is innocent. That doesn’t go great as Terry goes after him with Artie joining him just to get stabbed in the neck by afork! This guy just can’t catch a break.
Left to her own devices Maddy gets progressively more drunk as the movie goes on and when she’s finally completely plastered she actually remembers to call the police. It seems some people really do function better when they’re drunk.
Despite her name, Karen is the one who finally figures out who’s the good brother and who’s the evil twin but Terry is doing his damnedest to kill her too.
Of course it all devolves into a brother VS brother confrontation. Mother, Maddy shows up with a gun and shoots Terry. Then realizing that she killed Terry, not Todd she loses her mind completely. (Louise Lasser, a soap actor by day is really giving her 110% in this one.)
Maddy then takes the gun to herself and blows her head off while the good son Todd is watching– just as police sirens are heard in the background.
Conclusion: if there’s something we should be thankful about it’s crazy ass movies like Blood Rage– with it’s over the top acting, bloody kills and ultra– 80s synth soundtrack blasting all the way it’s impossible not to be entertained. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Things have been ramping up in the Norris camp for a while now. After showing up in the second to last episode of Hawaii Five O (2020)- show action choreographed by his son Eric Norris he followed that up with voice work in a 90s style video gameCrime Boss: Rockay City(2023) and then recently by playing a mentor role to Vanilla Ice‘s eponymous secret agent in an upcoming Australianaction comedyZombie Plane (2024).
Now, if that wasn’t enough now it’s reveled that he also stars in a movie by writer/ director & actor Derik Ting called Agent Rekon (2024). And here’s an official synopsis:
–Alastair (Norris), the commander of a covert Earth security task force, calls upon super-powered rookie Jim (Ting) to go on a mission led by battle-hardened Colonel Green (Singer) and his seasoned marines to track a mysterious energy disturbance at a base in New Mexico suspected of experimenting on alien technology. When the team encounters an unknown being of not only extraordinary strength and speed, but also the ability to control mindless warriors, the trio must fight through unstoppable hordes to uncover the truth behind the hostile alien fortress and prevent humanity’s demise.–
Not only does Agent Recon features Chuck Norris, he is also teaming up with another genre movie legend Mark Singer (Beastmaster, V, Cyberzone ). Considering how long both of them have been in a business it’s pretty strange they haven’t crossed paths ’till now.
Love the fact that Norris hit his classic Invasion USA pose!
Also, special treat is- all of his action scenes will be choreographed by his youngest son Dakota Norris in his I believe first movie. We haven’t seen too much Martial Arts from Norris in years, so I’m genuinely interested to see what he comes up with forhis dad. And to his credit- Chuck still movies surprisingly well for his age!
-“We couldn’t be more excited to team up with our friends at Quiver on Agent Recon,” said Millennium’s JJ Nugent. “Chuck Norris is one of the world’s biggest action legends and we know that audiences will be just as excited as we are to see him back on the big screen for the first time since Expendables 2.”–
If somebody told me we’ll see this much (non- meme) Norriscontent in his 80s I wouldn’t have believed them for a second. But, the truth is stranger than fiction. Now, the only question is, where’s thatRichard Nortoncollaboration that I’ve been waiting for for almost a decade?
Lacking in quips and memorable moments, we’ve arrived at the series’ blandest offering, but let’s see if we can unearth any goodness. Here we go: Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell.
Yeah right
The movie starts with an evil barbarian horde pillaging a village because that’s how all these kinds of movies start. People die, a hero rises from the ashes and has to crush the evil. Like the other films, Deathstalker III introduces a new lead actor to the title role. This time it’s John Allen Nelson, a far less brutish leading man than initial lead Rick Hill. He spends the duration of the film’s 86 minutes trying out different accents, none of which work. After meeting the beautiful Princess Carissa (played by Carla Herd), Deathstalker is entrusted with a valuable jewel, one of three such items that will unlock a magical city, Erendor. Hm collecting three powers to unlock new power? Now, that sounds familiar. I guess lead actors are changing but the concept of these movies remains the same. Also there is some wizard named Nicias (played by Aaron Hernan) who is supposed to help them but disappears at the beginning of the movie the moment shit hits the fan.
The princess is nonetheless killed by a few of the unknowing soldiers and passes the stone and knowledge on to Deathstalker. But wait, he still has a chance to get a job done since later he meets the twin sister of Carissa (how convenient), the feisty Princess Elizena who was sent from the North to marry evil wizard Troxartas (played by Thom Christopher). Troxartas is also after the stones. Deathstalker escapes into the wilderness, where he finds shelter with a couple of nomad women (a mother, and a daughter Marinda who is played by Claudia Inchaurregui). Peculiar thing about these women is that they eat only potatoes and nothing else than potatoes. Plus they are disgusted by any idea of killing animals for a purpose of eating. You see, back in those days vegans were safely isolated deep in woods, far from any civilization. Anyway, Deathstalker develops a brief relationship with Marinda, who gives him a horse. The mother is outraged, so when Troxartas’ henchman Makut (played by Agustín Salvat) appears in pursuit of Deathstalker, she tips him off. Troxartas learns that Deathstalker is the one who is causing problems. The sorcerer resurrects the defeated dead in order to finally get vengeance upon Deathstalker.
One potato, two potatoes…
Deathstalker trails her back to Troxartas’ castle where he is supposed to marry her. Deathstalker is found out, however, and Troxartas gets the stone. The sorcerer finds that a third stone is needed to release the powers of the stones. Troxartas’ mistress Camisarde (played by Terri Treas) tortures Deathstalker to gain information, but he escapes to the woods. He runs into Marinda, and a group of the warriors who Troxartas has resurrected in order to conquer him. Deathstalker learns that the evil wizard keeps dead warriors’ souls in jars stored in the castle along with captured Nicias. Deathstalker promises that he will release their souls in return for helping him in the battle so Marinda departs for the north in order to recruit more people for the attack.
What do we have here?
When Elizena finds out that she will be killed whenever the third stone is found, she decides to help Deathstalker. The third stone is revealed to be hidden in the castle as well (Troxartas sure likes to keep all valuables in one place). When the reinforcements from the north attack the castle, Deathstalker releases the souls in the jars. The warriors from hell attack Troxartas and his allies. Tho I don’t know why are they called “the warriors from hell”. They look just like a regular people to me. Anyway, great swordfight (nah I am shitting you, it is pretty lame) commences between Deathstalker and Troxartas which ends with the evil wizard being impaled, exploded and eventually disintegrated (?!). Maybe he has returned back to Dimension X or something. The three stones are reunited and the ancient city of Erendor is revealed.
Conclusion: Lacking in action, memorable characters and a fun pace, Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell is easily the worst entry in the series. The new Deathstalker has no charisma and the film lacks a strong villain. You just can’t take the bald man in tight pants to be evil wizard for serious. In the first two films, there was a large variety of foes including a pig man, zombies and trolls. Deathstalker 3 has the undead army, but they only show up at the end and their screen time is limited. The soundtrack is also unspectacular, with the main theme being recycled from several other Roger Corman produced films. Yes, this is too weak even by Corman’s standards. Even the cover shows an illustration no doubt intended for “Conan the Barbarian” book. This film is sad. Really sad.
Movie starts with a kid, EddieBurber in Halloween mask greeting people going to his family business– The Burber Hunted House. Wanting to get in the business himself, he decides to scare a little girl– but she manages to get impaled? Eddie instead of being a normal person and calling for help then- finishes her off?! Little psycho!
20 yeas later we are now with a local- Sigma Fi fraternity- that’s going bankrupt? This is the first time I’ve ever heard of Fraternity going bankrupt. How does something like that even happen? Anyway, frat bros decide they need to have a party to raise fund for their fraternity (that seems to be their go to solution to everything).
Unfortunately, on the advice of some mysterious stranger claiming to be an Alum they decide to have a party in a Murder House?! He even provides the key. Man, they are really tempting fate with this one.
Now, they get on to fixing the house for a party and nobody suspect anything. Even when two of them disappear after going for a swim… They menage to set everything up- not knowing that Murder House is about to live up to it’s name.
You see the kid- Eddie was taken away by his mother, who was somehow able to control the monster for two decades and it took her death (by natural causes, don’t get ideas) to set him free. First he was only lurking with a creepy mask, then he started killing. But he didn’t start ramping up ’till the party started.
Despite how shockingly incompetent the Frat Bros looked, party starts off as am absolute success! But then among all the other… teenagers (and surprising amount of kids?) find the bonus Killing Room in the house and despite a poor tied- up girl yelling “…this guy is a Killer, this is for real!” they still think it’s all a game, and are having fun.
Little Miley Cyrus here isn’t the brightest…
Eddie is living it up, performing for the audience- and chopping and slashing people up mercilessly. Kids especially love it. (If we learn one thing from this movie- it’s that all kids are evil.)
It takes another performance including a hanging and a public electrocution for a comic relief of all people to figure things out (I mean you literally had a pile of bodies in the back). After yelling “This isn’t part of the house” everybody panics and scatters including Eddie who they scare off with a flame- thrower? Man, those Frat Bros have everything.
They do manage to save most of the last crops of victims but Eddie runs away using a secret hatch from the beginning of the movie. They try to stop him using the fire again but he still manages to escape. They the police finally comes and get the most pathetic chase scene in the movie history. Back of Eddie’s red van gets hit by a shotgun by Kurt and it goes up in flames like it was made out of cardboard! The End
(We do get a Rockabilly Haunted House song over the credits so that’s a plus.)
Verdict: Now, this movie actually had elements that could be pulled together in a fun, rural Slasher movie. Unfortunately the structure and the pacing are a complete mess. We spend so much time with College kids goofing off (that it could almost be a teen comedy) and then we just rush through the killings in the last 25 minutes. It’s almost like they run out of tape while filming and never even bothered to figure out a proper ending . Which is strange because the movie was supposedly filmed on and off for two years, so you would think they would have figured it out.
Worsemovies 