Written and Directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr.

It’s very interesting how things echo and even parallel one another. I was just watching a trailer for finally completed Orson Welles movie “The Other Side of the Wind”. Finished by his long time friend and actor in the film- Peter Bogdanovich and producer Frank Marshall the movie will be published by Netflix in November after almost 50 years of production!

Now, there’s another director albeit definitely less acclaimed that’s having his final “masterpiece” published in November too. Coincidentally, the man in question was himself inspired by the The Great Welles. And that man is non other than Edward D. Wood Jr.  the writer/ director of such hits like Glen of Glenda, Bride of the Monster and of course Plan 9 from Outer Space (often considered the worse movie of all time).

“Dramatisation: May not have happened!”

His final film “Take It Out In Trade” a sexploitation detective comedy he shot in the 1970 is finally seeing light of day! Meticulously restored and converted from the only remaining 16mm theatrical print by Alamo Drafthouse’s American Genre Film Archive and Something Weird to crisp 4K BluRay. The only previous version was VHS of outtakes without the sound published in ’95.

The plot centers around a wealthy Frank Riley (Duke Moore) and his wife who hire an unreliable but mustachioed P.I. Mac McGregor (Michael Donovan O’Donnell) to locate their missing daughter Shirley (Donna Stanley) and features a dangerous world of prostitution. It even has a nod to Wood’s  real- life crossdresing passion (as he shows up as a transvestite character- Alecia). Movie also features  The Amazing Criswell  and truthfully, it wouldn’t be an Ed Wood picture without him.

 

Ed Wood as Alecia

So, if you decide to watch Welles’s “lost” film in November why not make it a double billing with the fantastic Edward D. Wood, Jr.-  what could possibly go wrong?

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Some of you are too young to remember but in the early days there was nothing more disappointing then your favorite TV show (like Star Trek) starting on TV- just for you to find out it was a clip- show episode and you waited in vain. That kind of a thing would completely ruing your day.


Now, even thou that phenomenon was closely related to TV (live action). Now fair share of TV shows and Hanna Barbera cartoons too made a practice of doing that but in reality there was more than a few movies that implemented that same philosophy. Roger Corman was as guilty of that as much (or more than) anyone else. See Carnosaur/ Raptor for some examples.

 

When Frank Gallo approached him about directing a non-related sequel to the Starquest aka Terminal Voyage. I imagine he just waved his hand and said “you can use any of my old SF movies for clips and just keep it under budget”.

Movie starts right away with the clip show montage consisting of anything from Archival NASA footage to Corman’s Battle Beyond Stars all the while playing to 90’s dance beats. Can’t go wrong with that but we have no idea what’s going on.

Now, the film’s actual start has 8 people of all different creeds waking up in a mysterious compound. They are not sure where they are or what’s going on and the first thing they all witness a man in a security uniform being electrocuted by something that looks suspiciously like Hall 9000.

Things get a little heated up, a soldier (fan favorite Adam Baldwin) and ex- con Trent (played by a Kickboxing legend Jerry Trimble) almost come to blows. But then a Priest of undisclosed religion (always fantastic Robert Englund) shows up to greet them and clue them in on their situation. Turns out they are in Space.

Another video-montage played by a board computer (set to a soothing soundtrack) explains the crew that humanity has lost it’s way and heralded it’s own destruction. Then the techno music comes in and we are treated to a number of striping and sex scenes. Now, I know some strippers tend to be crazy but I’m pretty sure they are not to blame for the downfall of human civilization.

 

Then the video shifts to a doctor doing some crazy Re-Animator shit and it abruptly ends with the launch of Omega 4 Spaceship (it’s mission- to save human species). We also see the Alien narrating everything and the costume is funny as it gets (with mouth that can barely move at all). But, that’s Roger Corman/ New Horizons production for you.

Trent and the military personnel get into an argument again but suddenly the ship starts shaking- they are attack by a Reptilian race of aliens (and if conspiracy theories thought us anything,those are the mean ones). Suddenly a cyborg pilot emerges from his sleep and he does his job admirably!

Space fight scene
Star Trek- eat your heart out.

Once his done he returns to his chamber. Trent doesn’t like him one bit and can’t wait to star a fight. In the meantime the bold dude and the black chick are plotting behind Father’s back. It seems they knew about the alien attack and they are not pleased with the result.

Lee (Baldwin) and Susan start discussing their fear that the Earth was destroyed– and that’s the reason they are here. They segued directly into the first sex scene of the movie
(I guess they decided it’s time to start repopulating). The funniest thing is Baldwin has constant Alien Abduction flashbacks– and he can still keep it up! That’s admirable.

fotka

It turns out the death of the first man wasn’t an accident, ’cause they find the blond soldier woman choked to death too. Trent tries to pressure a bold dude to show him how the ship’s computer works but he activates the cyborg the Protector. Trent gets into a brawl with the cyborg and almost dies but the bold dude ends up dying it the end. “Hall” electrocutes his remains too. Englund seems displeased with the development of the situation.

Suspecting everyone and anyone the rest of the crew capture Trent (using his stripper girlfriend as the bait). Black girl seduces another soldier (what she’s up to) and then stripper starts stripping so this becomes one big soft- core “spectacle” in space.

Baldwin uncovers that he was injected with an alien DNA. Black girl finally shows her true colors and starts killing, but not before getting a lap dance herself. Man, this girl is
having a busy night. Hope they tip her well (whatever currency works in space). She and Englund get into an argument which fraction really cares for human- Trent solves the conflict by shooting them up both. Unfortunately he dies himself trying to finish the girl off.

After they are left alone Alien flight attendant video shows up again and we have some more psychedelic imagery (not really the 2001 Space Odyssey level but still).

Verdict: As far as clip show movies gothis one makes no sense but is definitely a good fun- and the cast is surprisingly solid.

And as much as I’m an Adam Baldwin fan (Firefly, Chuck, The Last Ship) my favorite parts of the movie are Jerry Trimble scenes- he finally gets to do some acting in this one in addition to his kickboxing arsenal and he comes across like one of those disturbed gang members from Death Wish III. And also his on- screen girlfriend/ stripper Jeannie Millar is a real sight to behold. I was really disappointed to find she didn’t make that much movies  (except couple Black Scorpion ones for Corman, again) before her untimely death.

Bad hairdos, dire fashion sense and a pumping soundtrack from John Farnham, can only mean one thing; We are back to 80’s! (although WM crew never left 80’s). Time for some revenge – girl style (and I am not referring to any of “GF revenge” porn movies). We at Worsemovies are well aware of what our audience is aspiring for. So without further ado, in cooperation with Danny Steinmann (Friday the 13th: A New  Beginning), for all of you sickos out there who, for some reason, wanted to see Charles Bronson in a dress, we present you – Savage Streets.

 

Following her appearance in The Exorcist and its less than popular sequel, Linda Blair made a career out of exploitation flicks of which this is perhaps the most famously trashy. She plays Brenda, a typical LA girl who leads all-girl gang “The Satins”. Like any other ordinary girls they like to hang around the L.A streets while sipping fruity alcohol and gossiping. They have a run-in with a gang of thugs called “The Scars” who were hitting on them but unsuccessfully. Girls steal and trash their car, and that’s when entire problem begins.

Women driving a car! Run for your lives!

Gang swings by to school in order to get revenge on girls for stealing their car. They try to bully some guys but they end up kicked out of the school by Principal Underwood (played by John Vernon). So they have to lie in wait for another opportunity. It didn’t took too long. They waited for gym room to be emptied so they could drag Brenda’s deaf mute sister Heather (played by Linnea Quigley) to the shower room and gangbang her there. And since Heather can’t speak she couldn’t tell her sister who was behind that. Nor Brenda had any suspects despite the fact it was so obvious considering her recent activities. That evening she went to the bar to party and drink with her friends like nothing had happened. But the gang is there as well. Can you guess whats happening next? That’s right! A bar fight!

 

liAs if one fight wasn’t enough for her Brenda ran into another fight, this time with her slutty classmate over some guy. Nice chick fight, when we can see some nice tits. As a result of that Brenda gets  suspended from the school, after unsuccessfull Principal’s attempt to hit on her. This scholl knows no bounds, I can give them that.

 

Still, not everything is so black and sad. One of her friends Francine (played by Lisa Freeman; known for Back to the Future) is getting married soon. So, while Brenda and the rest of her girl gang are visiting Heather in the hospital, Francine and Maria (played by Luisa Leschin) are going to pick up Francine’s wedding dress. On her way home Francine gets intercepted by gang. They chase her with the car. I thought they just wanted to scare her. But for reasons only known to him, the leader of the gang Jake (played by Robert Dryer) threw Francine off a bridge with words “Here comes the bride”. In the middle of the day with full traffic going on behind him! And no one bothered to stop! Vince (played by Johnny Venocur) freaked out and ran away to the hospital, where he found Heather lying in deep sleep. He tries to apologize her, admitting everything. Right in that moment, Brenda came along and heard entire confession. Now she freaks out at Vince and he runs away. Brenda finally got some clue.

Later that evening she busts into Vince’s house with knife. There he tells her about Francine. Apparently, Brenda didn’t find out that her best friend is that for entire day! I guess she was too blinded by her anger and revenge even to check out how preparations for her friend’s wedding are going. Anyway, she spared Vince and starts preparing for taking revenge girl style (and no again, it is not what you think it is). Dressed like a commando and armed with a crossbow which she bought at the local store (just like that) she went to a warehouse where the gang is gathering and hunted down Fargo (played by Sal Landi) and Red (played by Scott Mayer). Meanwhile, Vince tries to flee town but Jake runs him down with his car. Wanting to celebrate another successful hit, Jake comes to a warehouse where he finds his dead buddies. Brenda was waiting there as well. After some fight she manages to kill Jake by setting him off on fire (or at least a doll that should represent a living man). Police arrives on the spot and not a single question was raised so Brenda is off the hook. Now she has enough time to attend her best friend’s funeral. She wasn’t interested that much in her wedding tho. And that’s how this movie ends

 

Conclusion: This is a perfect 80s exploitation film for all those who are cult film fans, it certainly won’t win any awards but good-golly this is a ham covered, rock n’ roll, crossbow firing good time. It tries to operate within just about every single exploitation subgenre that was active at the time simultaneously. And of course, there’s an amazing amount of tit shots in this one, even by the standards of the 80s. And apparently it’s a film that isn’t bothered about the fact that it’s set in a high school. “Savage Streets” isn’t even approaching a good film in any way and Blair’s performance could be one of the worst ever by a former Oscar nominee. But it is ridiculously entertaining at times and any film that features the line, “I wouldn’t fuck you if you had the last dick on Earth!” is one that I can’t help but defend.

Over the years it wasn’t that unusual for Superman mythos to bring back the certain elements from different media back into the comics that inspired them. His Smallville youth, Kryptonite and even the phrase “Faster than a speeding bullet…” for example originated in the popular Superman radio serials of the 40’s , and his ability to fly was first introduced in the famous Fleicher cartoons in the 50’s (it was easier to animate flying than constant jumping he used to do).

Similarly early Christopher Reeve movies proved very influential too, General Zod‘s inclusion into a comicbook canon being the prime example.

From Superman: The Last Son of Krypton, art by Adam Kubert

On the other hand the final Christoper Reeve movie produced by non- other than Cannon FilmsSuperman IV: Quest for the Peace didn’t prove that influential at all.  Quite the opposite the movie was often ridiculed for it’s weak plot, cheap production, nonsensical super- powers and it’s over the top villain Nuclear Man. Well, no more! At least on that last one. Cannon is now officially canon!

We’re exited too!

After a challenge from fans and co leagues alike- starting with a sketch from Nick Derington (Doom Patrol, Mister Miracle) former Marvel (Spider-Man, Iron Man, Jessica Jones) writer
Brian Michael Bendis, now working on DC’s Superman (Man of Steel mini- series, then Action Comics/ Superman) took it upon himself to make Nuclear Man an official part of  Superman mythos.

 

 

 

The tweet that started it all

 

This is the official Ivan Reis (Aquaman, Green Lantern, Justice League) penciled page from the Superman #02 that marks the first in-continuity comicbook appearance of the character. And it only took 3 decades for it to happen! For all you Cannon lovers who also dig comicbooks the release date is August 8. Mark it on your calendar.

 

Verdict: Even though  Mark Pillow‘s  acting was more WWE than DC  I always thought the costume design had something interesting going on, and as far as I can see it seems to work very well on the page. So, this should be an interesting one to read.

Update: Final version of the Superman #02- Nuclear Man appearance:

DkF0Zh-XgAAvxjH.jpg large

Somewhat of a permanent fixture on our blog Albert Pyun is ready to strike again (hard, no mercy). Despite his battle with illness he completed his last movie Interstellar Civil War and is now holding a GoFundMe campaign for his newest: Bad Ass Angels and Demons. Knowing Pyun‘s oeuvre it will probably have a Post- Apocalyptic setting + Kickboxing and I’m not going to complain about that at all.

 

Cast is his largest since The Sword and the Sorcerer and so far it’s : Kelsey Carlisle, Cat Cakmis, Mindy Gilkerson, Brandy Mason, Fulvia Santoni, Ashley Campbell, Nathan Ferrier, Mark Justice, Mark Popejoy , Zach Muhls, Clint Beaver , Paul Gunn, Brad Thornton, Madeline Brumby, Dawna Lee Heising, Jennie Carroll, Sue Price, Glenn Maynard, Jackie Gerhardy, Julie Ann Philputt , Maria Lemone, Clare Kramer, Samantha Phillips, Trudi Forristal, Jerry Rector, Clare Hoak, Santy Luangpraseuth, Norbert Weisser, Morgan Weisser, Ryan Rhino Michaels, Sharon Bruneau, Tommie Vegas, Daniel Faust, Yuji Okumoto, Thom Mathews with more to come.

“The culmination of the End of Days is at hand. The Fallen sons of God (ancient Demons) have created a post apocalyptic earth in their bid to free their Angel, Lucifer, so he can win back the Throne of Heaven and destroy the Son of God. To stop the Fallen Sons of God, the Son of God created his own Angels on Earth. Born in every corner of the world, 20 Angels gather in Mount Zion to battle the Fallen Sons of God and their Dragon Beast Abbaddon for the fate of eternity.”

It’s still not too late to contribute here: https://www.gofundme.com/badassangelsfunding

Gary Daniels was always a personal favorite of mine even since I fist saw him in an unexpectedly cool live action adaptation of a manga- Fist of the North Star.  But even thou he did everything from the slew of 90’s Kickboxing movies to the  Hong Kong appearances ( City Hunter w/ Jackie Chan) to his high profile Expendables (2010) role (he got to fight Statham and Jet Li at the same time!) he did make a few bizarre little movies along the way. And of course being who we are, we’re gonna cover some of those.

‘Punishment starts predictably enough with a story of Kickboxing champion doing some king of possibly illegal Martial Arts presentation in a seedy looking bar. He gets picked up by cops, after beating them up for good measure.

http://www.myvideo.ge/v/1517514

Then we have a scene in which the police Chief (David Caradine) shows him a history of project K.I.C.K. (in a scene suspiciously reminiscent of the Enter The Dragon exposition). It’s all about Kwan Lee, Taiwan chemist who in the 60’s invented some kind of growth hormone that makes people immune to pain. Coincidentally Daniel’s old Sensei from Japan Tadashi Yamashita (The Octagon, American Ninja, Seven) is running the drug operation right now.

  Here we can see Tadashita killing a watermelon, while not killing Gary Daniels- and we’re all grateful for that

He doesn’t want anything to do with cops but they convince him that exposure to the drug can result in genetic mutations and he panics because he has baby on the way. He rushes to visit his wife at a hospital  he ends up fighting a bunch of goons in his way, with one of the cops seemingly dying in the process but that’s how it goes).

Seeing that his wife is not doing that bad he shifts the focus on his upcoming title Kickboxing match. So, we get the fist (but not last) training montage of the movie.

 

Fight goes his way but after he won they accuse him of having metal in his gloves and then try to arrest him? No due process here!  Things are getting crazier by the minute. Daniels easily frees himself and kicks cop’s asses and gets away. Just like that.

Fighting in the ring…            

… and then fighting the cops for a good measure .

A blond lady- detective contacts him when he gets home but before they can come to an agreement another batch of goons attack them. Man, this is becoming a regular occurrence! Daniels goes after one of them while the lady manages to burn his whole house down, even thou she defeated the remaining attacker. “People are so strange these days” as the wise man Tommy once said.

Crazy and homeless Daniels searches for answers the only way he knows how- with his fists! That’s right kids, all your problems can be solved with violence. Fighting everyone and anyone we gets a lead that leads him to the (shockingly!) abandoned warehouse but he gets overwhelmed by the sheer number of attackers and ends up captured. Yamashita shows up to torture him for a bit but the detective saves him before everything goes up in flames (of the archive footage).

After that he goes to his Martial Art Master (not the drug dealing one) to get his body back in balance or something. Also it turns out that the X-Ray of his unborn child is actually a toy made in Hong Kong. And he never suspected anything!? WTF?!

Now, he’s off to do some revenging- now more than ever! Straight into the ice factory (another Bruce Lee no I guess, Big Boss this time). Among the goons we get one really pleasent suprise, a young Scott Shaw (of Vampire Bikers from Hell, The Rollerblade Seven fame).  He even gets to die via kick activated domino effect (dominoes being the blocks of ice, not really large enough to seriously injure a human being).

He gets to Yamashita but then it turns out his wife was a traitor too (even thou I don’t know why). The only problem is you can’t really tell what was his endgame. Even after decades living in the US his English is so broken that I can’t figure out his explenation for the life of me.

Good thing the cop and the reinforcments (very animated Gerald Okamura) arrive and the tide finally turns. Daniels even got to throw Yamashita off the building. Now, after siting in his office Caradine finally decides that’s it’s his time to act and steals the truck with drugs- but he ends up exploding on the bridge (another archive footage)- so maybe he should have tough twice about that.

Okamura smacking his head is an excellent bonus!

Verdict: this film has of the most nonsensical plots I’ve even encountered (I had to go over it 3 times just to get a vague idea of what’s going on) but it does have  more fights than a Mortal Kombat walktrough so that’s surely saying something.  So, if you leave your brain at the door (and forgive some repetitive choreography and terrible camera) you are bound to have fun with this one.

Trivia: Tadashi Yamashita was always a well  respected as a Karate/ Kobudo practitioner (even thou I’m always a bit skeptical when someone proclaims he is a 10 dan Black Belt in anything) and he is notable for milking both Bruce Lee craze (as Bronson Lee in Soul of Bruce Lee and Bronson Lee, Champion) and Ninja craze (The Octagon, American Ninja and The Shinobi Ninja). And as far as his technique is concerned, you can judge for yourself:

In 2016 a sole remaining 35mm print of the infamous Turkish Star Wars “Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam” aka “Man who Saved the World”– was found by a a B-movie aficionado Ed Glaser. Now, two years later a complete restored- 2k version of the movie is premiering on the only proper date –May the 4th (Star Wars day) simultaneously in London and Glasgow!

BluRay release of the movie is still not discussed (and it would be extremely difficult to accomplish due to a great number of borrowed scenes and themes most notably from
LucasFilm properties: Star Wars and Indiana Jones) but we’ll keep you informed on the US premiere and any further dates as they become available.

You can enjoy the trailer right here:

And for those of somehow still unfamiliar with the cult that is “Man who saved the world” there’s an informative clip that Neon Harbor put out, with a nice little history lesson on Turkish exploitation, their major action hero Cüneyt Arkın and the sneaky director Çetin Inanç solving his production problems with some slightly criminal activities.