This movie is remembered as a beloved classic of the genre by people who grew up in the 80es but the truth is much different, this is a prime example of horrible remaking culture that runs rampant even these days (you might even say now more than ever). Here is a short guide to Tobe Hooper’s desecrating of a great 50es SF film.

You are impressed already, aren’t you?

First thing first- aliens arrive in what resembles a GIANT DISCO BALL!!! Didn’t see that one coming. Kid (scientist 80es kid, you know the kind) follows it with a expression that seems lifted straight from Troll 2. He tries to convince his parents of the phenomena and after display of mind- numbingly horrible acting by all three people he finally goes back to bed. In the morning everything is strangely different, his father starts acting out of character and the boy notices strange carving on his neck. It doesn’t take long for the strange behavior to spread on his mother too and David seeks refuge in the last place anyone would look- school! Unfortunately he catches one of his old teachers eating a frog- normally used for dissecting and it becomes painfully clear that she is infected too. Scared for his life he finds a shelter in the offices of the school nurse, confuse looking blond woman.

The old lady just doing her thing!

After some back and forth the kid successfully convinces the nurse of his UFO experience and strange effects it had on people. Now alien teacher tries to catch David again but he uses oportunity and runs away- unfortunately he hides himself in her car, so he didn’t realy make it easy on himself. He fallows the teacher into new-found holes in the Copper Hill and then firsthandedly sees bizarre alien creatures and their master, creature that looks like a cross between of Krang of TMNT and human penis. After a bit more horrible acting by the kid aliens finally notice he’s there and he is forced to run for his life.

He menages to find the the Nurse who starts panicking even more than he does. They decide that there’s only one place they can hide- the school!? Anyway police (also alien controled) finds them in something like 5 minutes and the go in hiding in the basement/ boiling room. That doesn’t actually work so they hug echother waiting for death or even worse- assimilation! But just as they were about to say goodbye cruel world the alien digging machine Spears out of nowhere and they use the ruskus to escape. Nurse finally freaks out almost Nick Cage style but boy starts yelling irritatingly “General Wilson” and they head straight for local army base. It turns out David’s father worked for the military and that’s enough to grant them entrance (a bit imbecilyc but at least it gets as to the third act and thus closer to the end of the movie).

Invaders.From.Mars.(1986).XviD.AC3._LoaD.avi_003124746Still a better love story than Twilight!

David spills the beans on whole alien invasion thing and after some convincing General accepts a little boy’s claims (yes, just that!) Military disposes of the aliens that infiltrated their base andt he ugly truth comes to light – Aliens decided to invade us to stop the launching on the rocket to Mars that would prove their existence- o boy, o boy, those as some stupid ass Martians! In an epic scene we see military cleaning up the town including their destruction of the Elementary School (which is hilarious as it gets). Bunch of soldiers end up sucked into the Copper Hill and General seems surprisingly emotive about it. Anyway the unit confronts the alien in their tunnels but scientist insists on interacting with them- then he gets disintegrated! They kill the first two aliens, then go ahead- an soon enough kill another two that look just the same as the first one… I’m starting to doubt that they made only two costumes for the whole movie- that’s retarded but you have to take into the consideration that this is Cannon film and that goes with the territory.

But I just want to talk!

Faced with possible anihilation the boy does only thing he can (after pleading with the creatures)- he knocks down Krang who then runs away! Then he focuses all his attention not on his parents (that could possobly still be saved) but on the Nurse who somehow ended up captured and almost brainwashed. Finally everything blows up, Krang escapes in the disco ball and David’s parents keep chasing him until the aliend influence is finaly broken. And then… it turns out everything was just a dream. Or was it?  IT WASN’T! THE END

Invaders.From.Mars.(1986).XviD.AC3._LoaD.avi_002349930Somewhere on Mars, right this moment Krang is plotting his return…

Verdict: The whole movie lays squerly on the sholder of the young man playing David (because the whole story is seen basically from his perspective and his performance should give gravitas to the whole fantastic scenario) and his acting is so far beyond fail, that he invented new levels of failure just for this movie. The only thing that could be even remotely seen as areedeming quality of this movies are it’s creature effect by always great Stan Winstone and his studio, even thou design is a bit more cartoony and absurdist than regular it still oozes  with originality and technical prowess.

STAN WINSTON, the only good thing about this movie!

Advice: If you really want to watch a quality ( a quite psychedelic) movie with a ludicrous plot like this, just find the original from the 50’s- hell, let me help you, here it is! It will help you forget the 80’s version in no time.

Advertisements
Comments
  1. […] seen in “Plan 9 From Outer Space”, “Killer Klowns from Outer Space“, “Invaders From Mars“, etc). Since this is utterly dull movie I’ll keep it short and with low effort in […]

    Like

  2. […] well, well, if it isn’t our old friend Tobe Hooper. After watching Invaders From Mars I thought his directing couldn’t go any lower. Boy I was wrong. Sure there are many people […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s