Worsemovies

Hong Kong cinematography is without a doubt most famous for one thing and that’s action flicks- be it their period peaces or their contemporary action thrillers. On the other hand there is a whole genre that generally gets glossed over by a Western audience and that’s their Horror movies.

This movie was made by an major HK production (Shaw Brothers) but there is nothing commercial or ordinary about it. And you might find yourself mistaken by the name- ’cause this movie does have it’s share of Kickboxing but that is secondary to the bat-shit crazy and psychedelic sequences of mystical battles between Buddhist disciples and an Evil Shaman(s).

 The movie starts right out the gate with a fierce kickboxing fight between the Thai  champion Ba Bo (Bolo Yeung) and Chinese Chan Wai. Bolo loses the fight but proceeds to punch after the bell and with his inhuman power menages to send the Chinese fighter to the E.R (with a broken neck).

+ for having Bolo show some Martial Arts instead of just being just a strongman as he is regularly cast

Hung Chen’s brother promises to get revenge and arranges a trip to Thailand. But not before some brutal sex with his girlfriend! I guess we all have different ways of coping with stress. Then all of the sudden a mystical symbol appears in the air and this all takes a serious left turn.

Thai people (being really mean by nature) welcome Bolo with great pride and give him championship belt for ignoring the rules and crippling his opponent. They sure don’t like Chinese people over there.Hung Chen find the meaning of the symbol in the local (Thai) Buddhist temple. It turns out the Abbot of the temple expected him. The twist- Abbot is already dead, he was killed by an evil  black magician Mai Gussu just when he was about to achieve immortality (man that’s a bummer!)

But it tuns out Abbot’s spiritual powers are so strong he can communicate beyond the grave so Hung Chen finally learns why he is was summoned to the temple. Strangely it turns out he and Abbot are spiritually linked because they were twins in the past life. Also Chen Hung cannon live without him so as soon as Abbot’s body decomposes Chen will also die.

He gets angry and refuses to except his fate but eventually comes to terms with the situation. The only solution for his predicament is to become a monk and use his spiritual powers to defeat Mai Gussu.

Magical battle that ensues puts to shame Gandalf vs Saruman from Lord of the Rings. I mean, just look at this madness!

After seemingly defeating the evil Abbot Qung Zhao is now free to seek immortality and Chen is free to return to Hong Kong. Even though he “saw thru vanity of this world” first thing he does is have sex in the shower with his girl who doesn’t seem too pleased that he disappeared for Thailand for apparently two months. She even threatens to castrate him at one point- man, those Chinese girls really don’t mess around.

Unfortunately back in Thailand other evil wizards gather and a demon woman gets born from the belly of the giant crocodile. I’m sure this has some cultural significance that I just can’t get.

Chen finally fights Bolo and menages to win in a back and forth match. Then he goes blind. He goes back to the temple in Thailand to seek help and they promise to organize another duel (strange how little do they actually help here). Chen unfortunately doesn’t tell Monks that he broke the vow of chastity and that cost him the victory and potentially dooms both him and his spiritual brother (man, why is it so hard achieving immortality over there). Though telling the truth they do give him the mystical essence that can be only acquired from the 1000 year old fungus found in the  giant stone  head of Buddha (we are not making this up).

After fucking things up his only hope is to find a sacred relic in Nepal. Unfortunately the witch shows up to spoil his plan and also summons a  bunch of evil stop motion alligators to help her. Fortunately when all seems lost the Chinese Santa shows up and the witch blows up and Chen can finally have his life back.

Beware of Chinese Santa!!!

Verdict: This movie consists of Buddhism and Witchcraft presented via kaleidoscopic, psychedelic FX and cheesy but weird practical effect mixed with a dose of kickboxing and also nudity- and the result is in equal parts captivating and bizarre. All in all this is a movie everyone should watch at least once ’cause there’s just nothing quite like it.