Worsemovies

It’s always fascinating to think about the crazy, CRAZY movies that almost happened- like Tim Burton/ Nicolas Cage Superman or Albert Pyun’s Spiderman but that list now has a new and unexpected addition. Through the Blumhouse‘s horror podcast Shock Waves  we found out about the script for an unprocessed (Charles Band’s) Empire Pictures Horror directed by Stewart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond) featuring none other but the The Governator himself Arnold Schwarzenegger!!! This was supposed to be Schwarzenegger movie after Raw Deal (1986) and it would have probably come out in between Predator and The Running Man (1987).

It turns out that Schwarzenegger’s Terminator stunt double also had a role in Re-Animator and that led to the friendship between Gordon and Arnold. They considered working together and came up with the idea of a wrestler that loses his mind because of super- steroids, and then naturally going on a murder spree all through New York city. I mean, Schwarzy yelling like a madman and ripping  arms and legs left and right. I would so pay to see that! Thankfully there is one piece of promo artwork saved in the archives, so you can get the idea.

That also sounds a bit like the real murder- suicide of the famous WWF wrestler Chris Benoit. and Joe Begos actually found out about this movie talking about the case with Gordon.

Movie was originally going to be called STEROID but they later changed it to much more awesome- BERSERKER!

Update (2023): Years after the original interview–  Joe Begos who originally broke the news spoke to the Best Movies Never Made podcast about this mythic collaboration that almost happened. Hosts also obtained a draft of the script so we can finally have a full idea what this movie would have looked like. So here’s the most important excerpts from the the episode:

“…(Arnold Schwarzenegger) is the strongest, meanest wrestler around.He enters the ring in a bear skin roaring wild eyed.Like the fabled berserkers of Scandinavian history. He fights bear fleshed in a meager loincloth, reckless, mad for the battle.The bout is brutal, bone crunching.The berserker is magnificent.And then it’s revealed, you know, that he’s a wrestling heel, so he always has to lose to the face and that’s kind of the kick off here, is that.

But he’s a foreign guy stuck playing foreign wrestling characters, which, you know, like the Iron Sheik… always had to be the heel, losing to some American guy.And he’s got a friend who’s similarly marginalized, named Black Mamba, who’s a talented black wrestler who’s got like, he’s got a special wrestling move called the Snake Bite…

And then one day Black Mamba shows up being like buffer and more confident and better than ever and reveals that he’s got some new special drug that he’s taking. And the arc of the story is that Berserker and Black Mamba both start taking this like experimental steroid.But, I guess because Black Mamba had been taking it first, we get to see the full arc of his and he like really fucks up a guy in the ring…

It’s so sad because the full arc of the story is that Black Mamba dies in his arms. And after he dies, Berserker goes and tracks down the Doctor who they’re getting it from. And you realize, yeah, this is like experimental.It’s harvested from reptiles in some way to make this drug.
And Shirley wants him to stop taking it. But I also love that the
element that’s like, you can’t really stop taking it because we see what happens to you.It’s basically just a moral decision.Do you want to keep taking the drug long enough that you go insane and start killing people, which then Berserker does well?”

*text was edited for length and clarity but you can listen to the full episode right here– it’s definitely worth your time.

Even though we never saw Schwarzenegger as a wrestler in a movie, he did have this wrestling appearance in WWF/ WWE and man, he’s beating HHH like his life depends on it: