Horrible, Horrible Movie Deaths!!!

Posted: 05/10/2012 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , ,

After our newest addition (and immediate champion) became viral the time has obviously come to review some of the most ill conceived and poorly executed movie deaths in cinema history!



Evil white shark from Shark Attack 3 is so freakin’ big that it doesn’t even have to make an effort to eat people, it just appears out of nowhere with it’s jaws wide open and people fall in by themselves!!! Just look at the evil dude at 0:55, he used his epic evil laugh a little too soon… and now he will never use it again.


American action cinema always had a thing for impaling (maybe my psychologist friend can explain me a thing or two about that) but this one took that concept and run with it… all the way to the moon! The mere defeating of the opponent was not an option for our heroes, no… they had to spinning back-kick him head first into a hook (he lost an eye in the process) and while the machine that the hook was attached to was dragging him away (still screaming in agony) they had to taunt him with such godawful one- liners as “we’ll keep an eye out for ya” and the immortal ” yeah, see ya”.


Jackie Chan’s beak-out vehicle  is like most of his later filmography, thing to be avoided at all costs. It has everything going against him including poor production, confusing plots and all the random nonsensical  fight choreography you can take!  Pinnacle is of course young Jackie’s disposing of a bearded westerner made possible by incredible sequence of techniques- clawing the head (while making cat noises) fallowed by a back-flip and a two handed palm strike to the groin… did the said westerner die from the technique or from pure embarrassment we will never know…

02. ENTER THE NINJA (1981)

Beside the fact that the dude’s acting out slow- mo with a fan working in the background at completely normal speed, he  even stops and shrugs  his shoulders as to say “fuck it, I shouldn’t have messed with those Ninjas anyhow” Ninja remains silent (although clearly confused as to what the hell did he just witness).

01.  KARATECI KUZ  (1974)

In this “fabulous” Turkish production of Karate Girl we  find terrible, agonizing and also seemingly never ending death of a strange villain with even strangers mustaches… he took more bullets than Robocop but damn he kept screaming all the way to the grave! Movie immediately ends after his last breath, director rightfully deciding to finish it on high note.

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