Never change a winning team. That rule obviously was a guiding star for good (and not very bright) people from MGM. So they paired up themselves once again with sure-to-be-success Chuck Norris. I don’t know if this was success but I do know that this movie is one of the most idiotic and illogical craps MGM ever made. With shitloads of decent action. Well, I am sorry, but decent action alone, even when performed by Chuck Norris, is just not merely enough.
As intro, we see a giant neon sign (I don’t know what it says since it has Chinese letters on it) in front of which several silhouettes are showing their martial arts skills. That lasts for about 2 minutes, giving you some time to prepare for incoming brain raping. Brain raping starts with Chuck Norris monologue about his comeback to Los Angeles. He doesn’t seem to be happy about that. Anyway, he parks his car in front of some big mansion. His name is Josh Randall and he works as a security guard in David Paschal’s casino. And sometimes he takes part-time job as debts collector. Like now, for example. So, when owner of that mansion refuses to pay his debt to Randall’s boss things turn to be ugly. Randall beats the hell out of every single bodyguard in mansion, occasionally cracking out unfunny remarks and collects the money eventually. Nothing unpredictable when Chuck Norris is about.
Job is over and it is time for Randall to go back home. On his flight back to Hong Kong we learn from his monologue and visions of the past that he is orphan adopted by Chinese Jewish family. I must admit I have some difficulties picturing that even with Randall’s vision of his Chinese father dressed as Rabin. Oh well. After giving debt money to his boss David Paschal (played by Frank Michael Liu) Chuck returns to his regular duties in casino which include sending home thieve black jack dealer without his pants! And putting an end on attempt of casino vault robbery, but that is not much important. Between undressing disobedient employees and stopping a robberies Chuck likes to relax on his boat-house with his girlfriend. What can I say, the man got it all. Or at least he had it until the moment when Sam Paschal (played by David Opatoshu), a man who employed him and to who Randall is very loyal, decided to refuse business offer from certain Mr Stan Raimondi (played by Michael Cavanaugh). Nothing strange considering Raimondi’s power of persuasion. “Expand or die”, he said to Sam. It is hardly to believe that anyone sane would accept business offer described in such way. But tricky part is that Sam’s son David has led casino to bankruptcy with illegal gambling and betting. And he owes a big one to Raimondi. So it is casinos war. I don’t know how it is possible since casinos aren’t even allowed in Hong Kong. All of that resulted in Raimondi having killed David and Sam. Randall found their bodies and displayed Chuck Norris style emotions.
Stone cold
Randall decides to protect Sam’s daughter who is third co-owner of Lucky Dragon casino. Her name is Joy Pashcal (played by Camila Griggs). Don’t miss the scene where he comes to take her and meets his own gay version (played by Richard Norton). I don’t know what was James Fargo’s (director) idea since that was the only scene where Richard Norton shows up. Maybe he wanted to see how Chuck Norris would look like in underpants? Who would know? Anyway, Randall takes Joy to his boat-house. His girlfriend Claire (played by Mary Louise Weller) seems to didn’t like that idea a bit. Quite understanding since Joy is pretty
hot. Well, she’ll have to live with it (or her, for that matter). As soon as Randall got to boat he got arrested under suspicion of killing David and Sam. Of course, one phone call and he is back on the street. Epilogue of that is Inspector Kek (played by Jimmy Shaw) got beaten up by Randall. So much about no one being above the law. Being unwilling to risk someone sinking his boat-house Chuck decides to hide two ladies in a hotel room. It turns out that it wasn’t smartest idea to do since thugs have found them a moment they stepped in. Chuck shoots his way through (yeah shoots; you can’t see many movies where Chuck is using firearms) incoming waves of hired scum. Eventually, he hides Joy and Claire at his friend LeRoy Nicely’s (played by Bob Minor) house (that looks more like budoar to me, with it’s naked Asian chicks and such). Leroy is also Chuck’s ex-army buddy. You can’t go wrong with ex-veterans.
It turned out that it wasn’t smart idea either (WRONG AGAIN CHUCKY!). You see, while Randall was out burning homosexuals alive (true story) and interrogating old man and hookers, Raimondi’s men found ladies’ hideout. LeRoy tried to defend them but did a pretty lame job even armed with machine gun. Randall discovers that main villain is actually Stan Raimondi’s father Simon Koo. He was planning to make a new Las Vegas out of Hong Kong and Paschal family was standing on his way. Well, I hope that info was worth enough to Chuck since, when he came back to LeRoy’s place, he found Claire’s raped corpse (although we can clearly see she is breathing), Joy kidnapped and his friend lying on his deathbed. Randall tried to comfort him with words “You’ll be alright man” despite the fact that poor LeRoy had so many holes in him that he could barely breath. And yeah, Chuck displayed the same amount of emotions as when he had found Sam’s corpse.
Hot boys
So basically this turn out to be avenging movie. Randall wasn’t so pissed off when they killed Sam and David. He gets really pissed off only when someone is picking on his hat. And raping his girlfriend just adds an oil to fire. Now, at this point, we all know what we can expect from this movie so I am going to keep it short. Randall takes on his military uniform and goes into killing frenzy. Firearms and martial arts – Chuck combines it all. It didn’t took him long to arrive to Stan Raimondi’s yacht and killing his goons. Raimondi engages in fight with Randall (which wasn’t very well choreographed, just to add), manages to disarm his opponent with a rusty hook and meets his end when Chuck kicks him off the yacht. How? Well, one of the yacht ropes got around his neck so he ended up hanging from one side of his yacht. And even that haven’t been filmed properly since we could clearly see harness while Raimondi was hung by the neck. Such things tend to ruin your sense of reality while watching movie.
For great finale Randall goes to Simon’s mansion on a small island, killing everyone on his way. There we can see another goof of this movie. Just 30 seconds after harness scene, Randall takes out one man, then throws his knife and hits the stomach of a second man. The thread the knife travels on to that man can be seen and then it even can be seen breaking as the man falls. I really hope someone got banned from filming because of all this “little” mistakes. Anyway, let’s get done with this movie already. Randall finds Simon Koo (played by Peter Gee). He is weak, 200 years old, wheel chaired old man. After short conversation Chuck decides to spare his life (he has big heart). But on his way out Randall gets his portion of blood he came for. Raimondi’s personal bodyguard, the one who raped and killed Claire, attacked him. A bit of fighting, martial arts, silly combat, Chuck’s awesomeness and bodyguard ended up with sharp glass impaled in his throat. Joy has been saved, Simon gets committed to mental institution for his crimes (some law they have there), another Chuck’s monologue about Hong Kong, ending, credits and me being robbed of 90 minutes of my life.
Don’t be fooled! This sweet old man is evil!
Conclusion: This movie has very amateurish filming (so many goofs), awfully stupid dialogs and weak weak weak weak acting. If there were any script at all it seems that actors didn’t even bother to read it. Dialogs, same as the acting, seems to came as the movie went along. In some moments it gets unintentionally funny, which is making, otherwise beautiful, surroundings to look shameful. Chuck’s inability to show any range of emotions stronger than plain bronze statue would have shown on his place is something that, I believe, we all got used to long time ago. But what about other actors? What is their excuse? Ending is laughable at best. Seriously, I strongly recommend you to avoid watching this movie. And if someone forces you to watch it then you will have full right to apply FORCED VENGEANCE!
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