Posts Tagged ‘(Chuck Norris)’

A bit of history:

Raymond Chow‘s film company Golden Harvest hit it big in the early 70’s when they discovered a certain up and coming star called Lei Siu Long aka  Bruce Lee . Their mega-fruitful collaboration hit it’s stride with Lee and Chow even forming their own partnership/ production house Concord Prouction Inc. (each owning 50%)  Way of the Dragon was a product of that collaboration, as was  Warner Bros. cooperation- Enter The Dragon. Unfortunately Lee died before the world premiere of Enter The Dragon and Golden Harvest lost it’s biggest star way too soon.

Of course Golden Harvest  would find continued success in decades to come, skyrocketing the career of Jackie Chan in the 80’s and making popular TMNT films (together with New Line Cinema). But in that strange place between Lee and Chan they continued to produce films to different varies of success.

One of those was Lo Wei‘s Slaughter In San Francisco, there to fulfill Chuck Norris‘s contract, he signed on two films when he made Way of the Dragon. Now, another famous name that had a (three) picture deal was non other than one- off Bond from Australia, George Lazenby!

Now, on Bruce’s insistence Lazenby was signed on a three picture deal. First of the films was to be Shrine of Eternal Bliss aka Stoner, the movie he was ready to make with Lee and Japanese Karate movie sensation Sonny Chiba but Lee died and Chiba dropped out soon afterword. Warner Bros. co- production money was also gone and with it’s budget severely cut Lazenby was promoted to a star.

Lazenby as the Detective Stoner, investigating a new and deadly drug! I’m still not sure if that’s the best or a worst name for a character.

 

With all the controversy surrounding  it movie was still a minor success in both Hong Kong and Europe and the Golden Harvest collaboration continued.  Next up was a unique co-production too, joint effort between Chow’s Golden Harvest and The Movie Company from Lazenby‘s native country of Australia (even thou he was being demoted to a villain) and the film was called: Man from Hong Kong aka Dragon Flies!  That was right in the middle of both Hong Kong movie boom and Australian New Wave of films so as expected the result was seriously  bizarre mix of Hong Kong action and Aussie craziness and has to be seen to be believed. Still we will try to help you out  and pinpoint some of the most entertaining bits (and there’s a lot of those).

 

Movie starts with an Aussie journalist visiting Hong Kong– by a glider  of all things! I’m just going to assume she came from Australia to Hong Kong by a glider ’cause that’s just perfect.  She almost gets arrested by Jimmy Wang Yu ( One-Armed Swordsman, The Chinese Boxer) but he decides to show her what’s so special about special units anyway- in bed!

In the meantime very suspicious (and suspiciously scarred) Sammo Hung (Enter The Dragon, My Lucky Stars, Ip Man2 ) carrying a briefcase in the bus. Hardened Aussie  Detectives Gross goes after him and after a bit of a chase at the Ayers Rock  (and a bit of a brawl too) manages to arrest him.

Shortly after Wang Yu arrives in Australia to continue with the (you guessed it) Sammo Hung case. That means he will interrogate good ol’ Sammo– and by interrogating I mean beating him into submission. I guess Chinese people  don’t believe in human rights.  And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse for Sammo a mysterious  assassins shots him (to prevent his from testifying I guess).

Wang Yu starts chasing him  and after a crazy pursuit they end up in the middle of a Chinese restaurant of all places!!!

We finally see the evil boss of crime and it’s (of course) non other that George Lazenby with a porno mustache to boot! He went from a Bond to a Bond villain, and it suits him well in fact. Yu contacts the journalist from the beginning of the movie– turns out the glider was borrowed from her boyfriends, she’s a bit of a slut that way.  Anyway, she takes him to the high class party where he meets Lazenby face to face.

 Did he just accuse Wong Yu that he’s yellow? That’s maybe taking it to far…
And surprisingly he finds information that the main center of the villains is the local Martial Arts Center. So he breaks into in, climbing the but it turns out the center was not so empty as he thought.  Massive showdown ensues in Martial Arts Center and continues climbing on another level against a seemingly endless number of attackers.

Of course- despite all his mastery he gets severely beaten and cut , and half dead barely manages to jump onto the first car shows up in front of the center. The Chinese lady co- driver hilariously proclaims “He is a good man, we must help him” even though she never saw him before.
They do the only  logical thing and that’s drag him to somebody who can patch him up– it turns out to be the girl’s father- veterinarian! Man, I’m starting to understand why Yu hated everyone and everything on the set.
 
She really thinks this is cute
While naively returning from the picnic ( and the obligatory picnic sex) Lazenby‘s gang attacks their car and his lady dies in a horrible explosion and he vows to get his revenge. Man,  that’s a bit excessive, he  didn’t even know her two days go!

So he does the only logical thing, borrows the glider from the journalist and uses it to break into his office by climbing down the pipes. He finds the office almost straight away and even though Lazenby is ready he is not ready for the rage of the dragon.  He manages to light him on fire and still keeps beating him ,  man- Wang Yu has no mercy at all!  And then he slips a bomb into his mouth!

 Just look at that!
The detectives wait for him outside and although grumpy at first  laugh with him at the explosion of the whole building floor and all the death that entails! Man, you get this sort of stuff only in the 70’s!

Trivia: The Man from Hong Kong was one of the subjects of highly entertaining documentary on Aussie cinematography: Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! It’s especially interesting seeing some behind the scenes like the power-strugle between the director Brian Trenchard-Smith and main actor Wang Yu who mostly wanted to direct everything himself, and his open disdain for white actresses he filmed love scenes with was definitely a bit unexpected.

 

Add to that and extremely hyped Quentin Tarantino who obviously enjoyed the movie immensely when he was about 10 years old.

Another fun bit of trivia, the other cop (one with an unruly set of hair) is actually Hugh Keays-Byrne later famous for his performance in Mad Max franchise (as a Toecutter in Mad Max and later as a Immortan Joe in Fury Road).

Also, it’s important to note  Umbrella Entertainment did a fine job of re- releasing the movie on BluRay in 2016, remastering it to 1080P HD, so if you ever want to check out the movie in best possible quality, you can order it here.

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We enthusiastically talked about the first post- Expendables 2 movie for Chuck Norris- The Finisher.  Unfortunately that project never came into fruition (even though they were talks of it shooting in Australia with out favorite Aussie badass Richard Norton directing) but now we finally have some good news for all you Norris fans out there!

15056431_1137649649646235_6784295093935268070_n  Just a cool photo of Chuck stretching Norton from our friends at Action Elite

Chuck has signed to appear in African (Botswanan to be precise) movie with some B- movie heavy hitters like Michael Jai White (Spawn, Black Dynamite) and previously mentioned Richard Norton, now a famed choreographer having worked on Mad Max: Fury Road, Suicide Squad and Ghost in a Shell).  The writer is Motswana- born Edward Sebati and on the directing duties we have none other than the action maestro Isaac Florentine of Undisputed and Ninja fame! I see him as a sort of heir to the Menahem Golan of the legendary Cannon Films (just better).

943363_360839514037845_1477549880_nMcDaniels brothers, only their mother can tell them apart!

Movie centers around the two brothers Sasha McDaniels and  Dumisani McDaniels who end up caught up in a net of poaching, robbery, murder and even a serious political conspiracy. Chuck is of course playing their cool uncle Sean Kane. Pre- production is well on the way and filming should beginning early 2017 and I’m sure I speak for all of us- it was about damn time!

320350_361977167257413_1249151529_nDeadly villain Sahili played by Aurelien Henry Obama,much deadlier than the regular Obama!


If 80s bad movies would ever make a party one flick would be pushed away from the others and would spend entire party time sadly standing alone in a corner with dumb expression on its face. Very few of them would show a pity (or ignorance) and come approach to the guy in a corner, politely asking for his name. Answer would make them to shudder and turn their backs with expression of utter disgust. For Neon Maniacs is the name!!! Very rarely do you seriously come across a movie with no redeeming values whatsoever. Lovers of extreme cheesiness and bad B-movies rejoice! This is a truly cheesy, utterly bad film that you fans of z-level entertainment can totally immerse yourselves into!

This is what you get for watching this movieThis is what you get for watching this movie

San Francisco in sunrise. Golden Gate Bridge, to be more accurate. One fisherman under it is preparing to depart. No catch for him this morning, He collects his gear and takes a shortcut under the bridge. There he finds a bundle. What is inside? A trading cards with pictures monsters on it! It seems that he did catch something after all. A deadly catch for he got slayed a moment after while he was still looking at poorly designed cards! Muahahahhahaha

Lets play tapLet’s play tap

After intro credits, we see a bunch of drunken teenagers driving in a car and singing birthday song to their friend Natalie (played by Leilani Sarelle). Their stop – a local park where they are going to celebrate Natalie’s birthday. Somewhere in between they stumbled upon nice, but feeble-minded guy Steven (played by Alan Hayes in person), who thinks it is cute to name your pet after specie they belong to in animal kingdom (his dog is named Dog). Of course, good girl Natalie, who is also very nice (and equally feeble-minded) obviously have a crush on him. Sparkles between them can be seen even from the last row
in cinema (that is, if anyone went to watch this crap at all). Anyhow, Natalie’s Neanderthal friends used this opportunity to make a couple of jokes on account of Steven’s “creativity, shove him off and continue their way to before mentioned park. There, they celebrate birthday in orgies of alcohol, drugs, and low-rated, barely-shown teenage sex.

These 2 sisters are regular guests at every partyThese 2 sisters are regular guests at every party

But different kind of orgies is about to start soon. Orgies of blood, gore, organs and intestines (my personal favorite). You see, while Natalie’s slutty friend Lisa (played by Amber Austin) was trying to convince birthday girl into losing her virginity (yeah, right), other couples have already split and went to their secret places. Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, bunch of hilarious, colorful monsters pop-up from wherever their lair is. First lucky couple to go are Sue (played by Katherine Heard) and Wally (played by none else but Jeff Tyler). Wally died after he left horny Sue on bench and went behind the trees to vomit and take a piss. Another slut bites the dust when some kind of mutant samurai had her decapitated while she was giving a blowjob to her boyfriend. He dies a moment after, still with expression of satisfaction on his face. What a way to die! Next ones are Lisa and Ray (played by James Atcheson), both trying to convince Natalie into having sex by having one right in front of her! Or at least they tried to, since they got interrupted by these strange creatures. Lisa attempted to escape but mutant samurai killed with picado dart shot from crossbow (?!), while one-eyed man-fish was hanging Ray onto nearest tree. As for the rest of Natalie’s friends, mutant war veteran, Neanderthal Chuck Norris , biker monster, crazy cartoonish surgeon and mutant Indian took care of them. Natalie SOMEHOW manages to escape. She goes straight to police. Of course, they don’t believe her so they let her go home. And what does she do same night when her 6 best friends were killed? Instead of mourning them, she takes a nice, long, relaxing floating in her swimming pool while having wet dreams about Neanderthal Chuck Norris. Who is the real monster here then?

Prehistoric Chuck Norris

Next day Natalie goes to school as if nothing had happened. There she meets a horror movie director wannabe Paula (played by Donna Locke). Inspired by recent events Paula wants to film some kind of “Lost” horror where vampire is drinking virgin blood on local graveyard in broad daylight! I believe that Joseph Mangine ,director of this movie, is not much more skilled than Paula. Anyway, Paula continues with her investigation about monsters and, one night, she finds out their hideout and that they are vulnerable to, hold your breath, WATER!!! Simple, plain water! Then why they are living under the bridge, I ask you? No
one bothered to explain. Also, Paula recorded a murder of the cop with her camera but she didn’t find it enough important to show it to police. Meanwhile, another group of mutants/monsters/dolls/cartoons/men with makeup killed bus driver during their encounter with Steven and Natalie. Those two lucky bastards had yet again escaped long arm of monster justice. Damn it! Next night they attacked Paula at her room but she managed to repel them with squirt gun!

Hail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver...mutantHail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver…mutant

Now it is time to take an action! Paula informs Natalie about monsters’ weakness and hideout. And what does Natalie do? She decides to go to the battle of the local loser bands show instead of trying to get people to help her and kill the creatures! One must ask himself what are her priorities? As you may have already guessed, one of the loser bands has Steven as their front man. You can’t have a loser band without such nincompoop. Anyway, monsters, all 12 of them, busted a party with machine guns (I know, I know….bear it with me. Soon it will be over), killing everyone in their way including wiping out loser bands. Though, Steven had managed to escape again, together with Paula and Natalie.

I bet you expected another arrow to the knee referenceI bet you expected another arrow to the knee reference

They finally decided to inform a police and do something about killing monsters. It didn’t take too long for such action. Only a couple of dozens corpses. They stormed in their lair armed to the teeth with various arsenal of squirt weapons. But no one was there. Monsters had escaped! Or did they? One detective was persistent in investigation after everyone else left, which had cost him a life. Let’s just say he got really hooked up (literally). Muahahahahha

Conclusion: Who are they? Where did they came from? Why they are killing? What is their origin? Why they are living under a bridge when they are vulnerable to water and they are not trolls? These are the questions no one even bothered to try to give an answer. The movie has some of the worst music ever committed to a motion picture. Ever seen one of those crappy ass wedding videos with that terrible synthesizer music on the background? Well that’s exactly what they used through out this whole movie! As for monsters themselves, we haven’t seen much of them either. They kept them mostly in shadows, probably due to low budget being insufficient for a proper make-up. But low budget can’t be excuse. For example, “Freaks” had been filmed with stolen camera and special effects done by a local butcher. And that movie is the masterpiece! As for end itself, it left a huge space (almost as big as space in plot holes) for a sequel. Until this day, no sequel has ever been made. And praise the Lord for that! One question for the end: What is your favorite Neon Maniac?

Chuck-Norris-Election-Ad-620x341

WM alumni (Delta Force, Forced Vengeance, Octagon, Code of Silence, Invasion USA, Slaughter in San Francisco) , Martial Arts legend, Action star and walking meme generator Chuck Norris is finally gearing up to get back on the horse, the metaphorical action horse that is (I’m sure he’s got a real somewhere too). After the supposed retirement from acting in the 2005 we had a chance to see him cameo in the ultimate 80’s throwback series The Expendables and he was even kind enough to share a Chuck Norris fact or two.

Chuck Norris telling a Chuck Norris fact- PRICELESS!

After the movie came out in 2012 there was a lot of buzz about a potential full on return as a lead actor (and we’re all old enough to feel nostalgic about Chuck’s legendary Cannon days right about now). Unfortunately nothing materialized right away because of a family emergency (health scare of his wife Gina). Now with those problems behind him, Chuck is getting back into acting big time, starting with a series of highly entertaining commercials he did for Brazilian Internet provider.

You get 1 Giga of downloads, Chuck Norris included!

His comeback vehicle is officially named The Finisher (by all accounts a resurrection of a previous project called less impressively- The Novice) and sees Norris as a retired hitman brought back to the game for one final time (sounds almost like something Charles Bronson would play- another man not afraid to kick ass and take names even in his older days).  Filming is  gearing up to begin this March in Savannah, Georgia and we couldn’t be more thrilled. Enjoy Norris’s interview in which he briefly speaks about the movie and as soon as we have some more info we’ll be sure to share!

Lee Marvin (Cannon nicked him from the open casket funeral) stars as a grizzled veteran leader of the Delta force.Delta Force is an elite units of commandos, elite mostly because Chuck Norris is in it. Also, Steve James(American Ninja) is in it too. Norris almost doesn’t make it alive because he is saving his army buddy but all is good. Some time later bunch of people (mostly Jewish) innocently board the plane from Athens to Rome to New York blind to the fact that there are terrorist lurking really, really close.

The_Delta_Force_movie.mp4_000530196Shocking! This man is a terrorist!

Finally they threaten with a hand grenade and the panic spreads like a wildfire. In the meantime Chuck Norris is eating his breakfast. He doesn’t seem very pleased.

The_Delta_Force_movie.mp4_001191123They interrupted Norris’s breakfast, no one interrupts Norris’s breakfast.

Terrorists find some American Navy officers, and they lose their mind over it. They also manage to punch the random priest in the process of catching them. Next thing on the list- round out all the Jews (that also somehow includes the random Russian fellow, there terrorist are not really bright. We also have a blond, German stewardess who freaks over the capturing of the Jews in the typical “we are not Nazis anymore” style that seems popular ’till this day.

Chuck Norris finishes his meal and then gets a call from his (really) old mate Lee Marvin. His country (and Delta Force) needs him again. Emotionless as always Chuck Norris excepts. Terrorists menage to be evil but show their not that evil- by being kind to the kids. They also steal the jewelry from women like common tugs In the meantime the fabled Delta Force is waiting for them in Israel. The rescue operation doesn’t really go as planed (although a lot of the people did menage to get out) and the main terrorist dude blows the brains out of the American Navy officer (I believe played by Chuck’s oldest son NASCAR driver Eric Norris). Delta’s and Israelis are forced to retreat- but not for long.

Plane takes off for Beirut and that’s where the fun actually begins.With a help of an unassuming Orthodox Priest (or is he?) they locate the base of terrorists and open the can of whup ass.

Deltas also menage to show a bit of old school American brutality but this movie wasn’t made for Arabs anyway. Chuck gets the info on the final terrorist cell and proceeds to use his magical bike with missiles (they really need to make this sort of stuff in the real life). We also learn that the terrorist suck in Karate, Chuck tried to remedy that by learning them a move or a two but I don’t thing they lived long enough for that to take effect.

Verdict: Here we have several interesting (seemingly unrelated) elements. Chuck Norris, an old school actor Lee Marvin, evil Islamic terrorists, airplane hijack- all that combined with mindless jingoistic propaganda. Partially Based on a true event when TWA Flight 847 was hijacked by Lebanese Shia Extremists, later identified as members of Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad. Now If real hijack really had happened the way as the movie shows it then I must say that personal in US airline companies are the most incompetent bunch that ever walked the God’s green Earth since terrorist from this movie wouldn’t be able even to hijack a tricycle from 4 years old girl.

Menahem Golan interestingly decides to make two very different movies at the same time. One is a serious political thriller inspired by live events but than he seemingly gets bored and the movie shifts into Ramboesque shoot em up. This movie also highlight Norris’s shift  from the Martial Art actor to the more new age Schwarzenegger/ Stallone type (probably a conscious effort by Cannon Inc.) while also utilizing Martial Arts in climactic final duel.

Anywa,y even thou the movie is beyond ridiculous Golan did somewhat decent job by not having Chuck do anything in the first half of the movie and then utilizing him almost exclusively for action scene and non of the drama. By being smart enough to play to his star’s strengths he got a lot more convincing and entertaining film. It can even be argued that this is one of the highlights of Norris’s career, certainly of his Cannon period.

Cannon03

Never change a winning team. That rule obviously was a guiding star for good (and not very bright) people from MGM. So they paired up themselves once again  with sure-to-be-success Chuck Norris. I don’t know if this was success but I do know that this movie is one of the most idiotic and illogical craps MGM ever  made. With shitloads of decent action. Well, I am sorry, but decent action alone, even when performed by Chuck Norris, is just not merely enough.

As intro, we see a giant neon sign (I don’t know what it says since it has Chinese letters on it) in front of which several silhouettes are showing their  martial arts skills. That lasts for about 2 minutes, giving you some time to prepare for incoming brain raping. Brain raping starts with Chuck Norris  monologue about his comeback to Los Angeles. He doesn’t seem to be happy about that. Anyway, he parks his car in front of some big mansion. His name is Josh  Randall and he works as a security guard in David Paschal’s casino. And sometimes he takes part-time job as debts collector. Like now, for example. So, when  owner of that mansion refuses to pay his debt to Randall’s boss things turn to be ugly. Randall beats the hell out of every single bodyguard in mansion,  occasionally cracking out unfunny remarks and collects the money eventually. Nothing unpredictable when Chuck Norris is about.

Job is over and it is time for Randall to go back home. On his flight back to Hong Kong we learn from his monologue and visions of the past that he is orphan adopted by Chinese Jewish family. I must admit I have some difficulties picturing that even with Randall’s vision of his Chinese father dressed as Rabin. Oh  well. After giving debt money to his boss David Paschal (played by Frank Michael Liu) Chuck returns to his regular duties in casino which include sending  home thieve black jack dealer without his pants! And putting an end on attempt of casino vault robbery, but that is not much important. Between undressing  disobedient employees and stopping a robberies Chuck likes to relax on his boat-house with his girlfriend. What can I say, the man got it all. Or at least he  had it until the moment when Sam Paschal (played by David Opatoshu), a man who employed him and to who Randall is very loyal, decided to refuse business  offer from certain Mr Stan Raimondi (played by Michael Cavanaugh). Nothing strange considering Raimondi’s power of persuasion. “Expand or die”, he said to  Sam. It is hardly to believe that anyone sane would accept business offer described in such way. But tricky part is that Sam’s son David has led casino to  bankruptcy with illegal gambling and betting. And he owes a big one to Raimondi. So it is casinos war. I don’t know how it is possible since casinos aren’t  even allowed in Hong Kong. All of that resulted in Raimondi having killed David and Sam. Randall found their bodies and displayed Chuck Norris style  emotions.

EmotionsStone cold

Randall decides to protect Sam’s daughter who is third co-owner of Lucky Dragon casino. Her name is Joy Pashcal (played by Camila Griggs). Don’t miss the  scene where he comes to take her and meets his own gay version (played by Richard Norton). I don’t know what was James Fargo’s (director) idea since that was  the only scene where Richard Norton shows up. Maybe he wanted to see how Chuck Norris would look like in underpants? Who would know? Anyway, Randall takes  Joy to his boat-house. His girlfriend Claire (played by Mary Louise Weller) seems to didn’t like that idea a bit. Quite understanding since Joy is pretty
hot. Well, she’ll have to live with it (or her, for that matter). As soon as Randall got to boat he got arrested under suspicion of killing David and Sam. Of  course, one phone call and he is back on the street. Epilogue of that is Inspector Kek (played by Jimmy Shaw) got beaten up by Randall. So much about no one  being above the law. Being unwilling to risk someone sinking his boat-house Chuck decides to hide two ladies in a hotel room. It turns out that it wasn’t  smartest idea to do since thugs have found them a moment they stepped in. Chuck shoots his way through (yeah shoots; you can’t see many movies where Chuck is  using firearms) incoming waves of hired scum. Eventually, he hides Joy and Claire at his friend LeRoy Nicely’s (played by Bob Minor) house (that looks more  like budoar to me, with it’s naked Asian chicks and such). Leroy is also Chuck’s ex-army buddy. You can’t go wrong with ex-veterans.

It turned out that it wasn’t smart idea either (WRONG AGAIN CHUCKY!). You see, while Randall was out burning homosexuals alive (true story) and interrogating  old man and hookers, Raimondi’s men found ladies’ hideout. LeRoy tried to defend them but did a pretty lame job even armed with machine gun. Randall  discovers that main villain is actually Stan Raimondi’s father Simon Koo. He was planning to make a new Las Vegas out of Hong Kong and Paschal family was  standing on his way. Well, I hope that info was worth enough to Chuck since, when he came back to LeRoy’s place, he found Claire’s raped corpse (although we  can clearly see she is breathing), Joy kidnapped and his friend lying on his deathbed. Randall tried to comfort him with words “You’ll be alright man”  despite the fact that poor LeRoy had so many holes in him that he could barely breath. And yeah, Chuck displayed the same amount of emotions as when he had  found Sam’s corpse.

GayburningHot boys

So basically this turn out to be avenging movie. Randall wasn’t so pissed off when they killed Sam and David. He gets really pissed off only when someone is  picking on his hat. And raping his girlfriend just adds an oil to fire. Now, at this point, we all know what we can expect from this movie so I am going to  keep it short. Randall takes on his military uniform and goes into killing frenzy. Firearms and martial arts – Chuck combines it all. It didn’t took him  long to arrive to Stan Raimondi’s yacht and killing his goons. Raimondi engages in fight with Randall (which wasn’t very well choreographed, just to add),  manages to disarm his opponent with a rusty hook and meets his end when Chuck kicks him off the yacht. How? Well, one of the yacht ropes got around his neck  so he ended up hanging from one side of his yacht. And even that haven’t been filmed properly since we could clearly see harness while Raimondi was hung by  the neck. Such things tend to ruin your sense of reality while watching movie.

For great finale Randall goes to Simon’s mansion on a small island, killing everyone on his way. There we can see another goof of this movie. Just 30 seconds  after harness scene, Randall takes out one man, then throws his knife and hits the stomach of a second man. The thread the knife travels on to that man can  be seen and then it even can be seen breaking as the man falls. I really hope someone got banned from filming because of all this “little” mistakes. Anyway,  let’s get done with this movie already. Randall finds Simon Koo (played by Peter Gee). He is weak, 200 years old, wheel chaired old man. After short  conversation Chuck decides to spare his life (he has big heart). But on his way out Randall gets his portion of blood he came for. Raimondi’s personal  bodyguard, the one who raped and killed Claire, attacked him. A bit of fighting, martial arts, silly combat, Chuck’s awesomeness and bodyguard ended up with  sharp glass impaled in his throat. Joy has been saved, Simon gets committed to mental institution for his crimes (some law they have there), another Chuck’s  monologue about Hong Kong, ending, credits and me being robbed of 90 minutes of my life.

Don't be fooled. This sweet old man is evil!Don’t be fooled! This sweet old man is evil!

Conclusion: This movie has very amateurish filming (so many goofs), awfully stupid dialogs and weak weak weak weak acting. If there were any script at all it seems that actors didn’t even bother to read it. Dialogs, same as the acting, seems to came as the movie went along. In some moments it gets unintentionally  funny, which is making, otherwise beautiful, surroundings to look shameful. Chuck’s inability to show any range of emotions stronger than plain bronze statue would have shown on his place is something that, I believe, we all got used to long time ago. But what about other actors? What is their excuse? Ending is  laughable at best. Seriously, I strongly recommend you to avoid watching this movie. And if someone forces you to watch it then you will have full right to apply FORCED VENGEANCE!

Cannon02

While we wait for the long gestating documentary  Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014)  there’s this little gem that’s certainly worth watching,  a BBC documentary that captured Goram and Globus’s Cannon craze at it’s very peak. Enjoy and remember- if it’s low budget, has explosions and ninjas running around- it must be Cannon!

 

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