Posts Tagged ‘John P. Ryan’

Class of 1999 (1990)

Posted: 19/08/2014 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
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People are talking about violence in schools problem since schools had been invented. Violence in schools, by my account, is as old as education itself. Over the years a lot of suggestions for solving this problem have been made. Many procedures have been implemented. And they all failed. School violence still exists and it will exist long after we are gone. But the crappiest attempt to subdue the violence has been made in this movie. To answer the violence with more violence!

On the beginning of this supposedly a sequel to the “class of 1884” we get an explanation about how far violence in school have gone until the year 1999. High school gangs are taking control over schools. Gang controlled areas are known as free fire zones. In the middle of one of these zones, in Seattle, Kennedy High is located. It is an area without law, where police do not enter and where only thing that rules is anarchy. Department of Educational Defense (created for the purpose of this movie) has decided to re-open the schools and control the gangs. With the help of Megatech (robot making guys) they send 3 new teachers to Kennedy High and it’s principal Dr Miles Longford (played by Malcolm McDowell). Well, not the teachers actually but 3 cyborgs programmed in history, chemistry, mathematics and physical education. Of course, they also come equipped with special hardware to deal with armed to the teeth gangs. To me this looks like a combination of Dolf Lundgren’s “Detention” and bad cyborgs movies. Or, to be more accurate, it looks like if someone tried to build a school and starts education system in “Mad Max”.

Tactical Education UnitTactical Education Unit

In order this experiment to work they will need some Guinea pigs. So they have released the most troubling students from jail. I wonder what makes them so sure that students will go back to school? Anyway, one of them is Cody Culp (played by Bradley Gregg, whom you might remember from the “Nightmare on Elm Street 3”). Cody wants to go straight despite objections of his friend and his younger brother Angel (played by Joshua Miller; “River’s Edge” and “Near Dark”). Well, at least they claim he is “brother” since I spent almost entire movie working out if he was really a boy! Cody arrives in school after making through free fire zone just to be there in time for chemistry class. The new chemistry teacher Ms. Connors (played by legendary Pam Grier) shows that there will be no fucking around with new members of school stuff by kicking asses of two students. Same goes with history teacher Mr. Hardin (played by John P. Ryan; “Runaway Train”), who gave a new meaning to corporal punishment term (and gave the reason why it should remain banned).

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x242q2c_corporal-punishment_fun

Corporal punishment

That something is wrong with robots we see when teachers started with killing undisciplined students (well thats a bit harsh). First, Mr. Hardin bashed the head of some unlucky stoner into his own locker. Then, gym teacher Mr. Bryles (played by Patrick Kilpatrick) started beating the hell out of Cody and then broke a neck of Cody’s friend Mohawk who came to the rescue. Need I to say that Mohawk was also stoned as a hell while he was attacking with gun? Anyway, creator of robots Dr. Bob Forrest (played by Stacy Keach; “The Ninth Configuration”) doesn’t find this not to be unusual and he shows no sympathy for students while he justifies actions of his creations. Not that he could do something about it since cyborgs have openly disliked the idea of being terminated.

Not the Jeffrey Combs but almost as mad as himNot the Jeffrey Combs but almost as mad as him

After teachers have killed Cody’s brother Angel (at which point I am still not sure if he is a boy, and I guess you might say he took that secret to grave) things go in an obvious and predictable direction from then on. With principal’s daughter Christie (played by Traci Lin; “Fright Night 2”) on his side Cody re-unites two gangs to wage a war against teachers. Somewhere along the way we learn that cyborgs used to work for military and that they went back on their original program hence the killing rampage they went on (shameless rip-off of “Westworld”). That’s what you get when you buy a second hand cyborgs from the US army. Mr. Hardin is even more psychotic, Pam Grier is even bigger bitch while Mr. Bryles is just plain strongman.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x242qx1_rocky-balboa-eat-yourself_fun%5B

Rocky Balboa eat yourself!

It seems that teenage gangs were quite well-armed those days since they had automatic weapons and bazookas (?) No one bothered to explain where they did get them. Not that at that point we were keen to search for any logic in this silly and plain stupid sci-fi horror. War is taking place on post-apocalyptic battleground around the school. Don’t miss more senseless killing, explosions and bad rip-offs. Be sure to notice Pam Grier showing us her mechanical tits a moments before she is blown up by an axe. Enjoy the art of brain drilling performed by Mr. Hardin just before his head got shredded by uzi. Street war is the time when you can show your creativity in sadism.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x242rg4_mechanical-bitch_fun

Mechanical bitch

So the war seems to be over. Aren’t you forgetting someone? That’s right, a toughest guy has been left for the end. Mr. Bryles turned out to be quite persistent in performing discipline measures. The fight between him and Cody and Christie, despite the fact they ripped off “Terminator 2, is awfully staged with stop-motion so terrible that it makes “Nemesis” looks like an Oscar winner in special effects category. Yeah, and it ended with explosion of Mr. Bryles’ head. There is nothing more I can add here. Just plain nonsense.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x242s20_stop-motion_fun

For all you stop motion perfectionists out there!

Conclusion: This movie teaches us that we shouldn’t go to school unless it is the only choice. I am sure that director Mark Lester wanted to send a different message but he did everything wrong. You know, if a cast includes Malcolm McDowell, and if he is not a villain, he is not effective. The acting is bad even with a decent cast like this (I will never understand what made them to sign up for such rubbish), the soundtrack is poor (aside from the “Nine Inch Nails” track), and the plot is so unbelievably non-existent that you get the idea that the whole movie is just a cheap excuse to shoot people and blow things up. If free fire zones were out of reach even for police than what makes students go to school? A friendship? A desire for education? Ha! Obvious attempt of ripping off and mixing ‘The Warriors’, ‘Westworld’ and ‘Robocop’. And it even had failed at that! It is only good for metallers who want to recall the 1980’s battle between the glams (Blackhearts) and the goths (Razerheades).

Avenging Force (1986)

Posted: 10/06/2013 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , , , ,
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Martial arts expert (or at least they say so) Michael Dudikoff is having a role of his career in this movie. He plays no one else but Chuck Norris, aka Matt Hunter. Sounds familiar? This movie is a sequel to legendary Invasion USA, where almighty Chuck Norris had defeated evil Soviets. But this part is completely different (and worse) than the first one, and with  controversial background story. Or at least Cannon folks and director Sam Firstenberg ( American Ninja and American Ninja 2: The Confrontation) tried to look controversial.

Avenging-ForceIt must have been bad year.

The movie starts in a jungle. Two men are running in fear. They are pursued by wannabe ninja, sadomaso commando, and  a costume ball rejects. First one gets impaled by some kind of sadomaso commando’s spear (not that spear you have in mind). The second one gets strangled by one of costume ball rejects after entering a river, which caused ecstasy of perversion on the murderer’s face. Remember this starting scene, since it is  important for story.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_000271920S&M Commando – New elite unit!

Matt Hunter is former military intelligence agent who had resigned that job in order to take care of his sister.  Despite the fact that it had passed only one year since the first part,  he now looks younger and totally different.  Also, he settled down on small ranch, where we see him for the first time in this movie. He takes care of his much younger sister Sarah (played by Allison Gereighty), after their parents death.  Their grandfather is there too, who from time to time, makes a remarks about physical appearance of his granddaughter.  Rather sick old bastard, don’t you agree? While there, Matt and Sarah got an invite from their family friend Larry Richards (Steve James; also played in wretched American Ninja) to pay a visit him in New Orleans. Also, Larry is running for the Senate and he needs Matt’s help with something. So, brother, sister and oldman had decided to hit the road.  First thing our hero did after arriving at Richards family was kissing Larry’s wife Daisy (played by Sylvia Joseph) in front of everyone.  But Larry didn’t seem to mind. Matt later learns that Larry is on the hit list of so called “Pentangle” group (group’s name is the result of fail definition of pentagram), which is consisted of powerful rich white people. Apparently, they don’t approve idea of Larry being a black man who is running for the Senate. So, Matt Hunter agrees to protect Larry and his family. Oh great,  they should feel safe, now when the mighty white Dudikoff-man is protecting them.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_000515080Paying price for protection.

But during Mardi Gras parade, Pentangle agents attacks Larry and his family. Larry’s youngest son is killed. Of course, Matt Hunter wouldn’t arrive in time to stop bloodshed, since he was too busy partying. Tho, he did manage to shoot one of the agents into nipples while that one was trying to escape on motorcycle. But, that doesn’t remove taste of failure, so Matt decides to move the rest of Richards family into a safe house.  Meanwhile, at  “America for Americans” Kendo exhibition (where Kendo is represented as the most American of all American’s sports – I wonder what Japanese would have to say about this) Prof. Elliott Glastenbury (played by John P. Ryan), founder of  Pentangle group, is holding a racist anti-mexican speech, in which he calls upon all of his followers to take weapons in hands and clean the USA of illegal immigrants. His speech is followed by cheers of approval and state of ecstasy on faces of his followers.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_001499040This is the effect that inspirational racist speech should have on it’s listeners.

Matt asks his former boss to get him some info about Pentangle group.  It turns out that they are powerful racist paramilitary group, whose favorite hobby is hunting people and they don’t want black man to be elected to Senate.  After departing with Larry at hospital, Matt finds Ku Klux Klan style note written on Richards’ residence. He doesn’t seem to be much aggravated by this vandalism attempt.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_001642320It has been written black on white!

Next morning, Larry receives a call from so called Television 11 in which he has been asked to discuss recent tragic events. It’s obviously a trap so Matt goes with him. And they were right…. It is a trap!!! So, they chased Pentangle agents, eventually forcing them to withdraw to some construction yard.  And that’s where fight begins. I won’t describe it, since you can watch that fight right under this text*. I’ll just point you to pay attention on interesting contrast between black Larry (who is real martial arts expert) and white Dudikoff (self-proclaimed martial arts expert).

*above mentioned fight. Enjoy if you can.

Pentangle learns about Matt Hunter and they decide to take him out too. Remember the safe house where Matt took Richards family? That would be his ranch. How cunning of him. So they should be completely safe there, right? WRONG!!!   Pentangle agents burned safe house to the ground. Daisy is no more and Larry, the only cool guy in this movie, is moments from death. There, in his last moments, Larry had Matt to promise him that he will protect his only remaining son. Matt took a vow with no doubt on his face. So that should settles it, right? WRONG AGAIN!!! The only Richards remaining offspring is brutally killed couple of moments later, after falling with Matt from the roof. We notice that old movie rule according to which children won’t die even in gruesome horrors doesn’t apply here too. At least not for black children. So, the entire black family has been wiped out, despite protection of Matt Hunter! And his sister Sarah (whose acting is even worse than Dudikoff’s) is kidnapped. Now it’s personal!!!

No comment.

Furious by the fact that his sister has been kidnapped (and, in much less measure, by his failing to fulfil the promise given to Richards) Matt Hunter goes in one man crusade against Pentangle agents, fighting against sadomaso commando, costume ball rejects, kabuki ninjas, transvestites and somewhere along the way managing to save Sarah… Every encounter was 1v1, and Dudikoff got beaten almost to death by every single Pentangle agent, in fighting scenes that make American Ninja look like Bruce Lee movie!!! However, Matt manages to kill each and one of them in most ridiculous ways that sickos from Cannon could have imagined. In his final fight, he beats evil Prof. Elliott in his own mansion, thus putting  an end to racist tyranny.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_004646480

Conclusion: Although this should be an anti-racist movie, we couldn’t help but notice that black people are represented here as puny, weak, incompetent bunch, who would die without a help of white man. Also, for an anti-racist film, there is surprisingly large number of dead black people. They are dying like flies and actually not a single one of them  makes it through the end. Last 30 minutes of movie are such confusion and bullshit. Why? Well, because Matt Hunter didn’t actually put much effort until the moment his sister got kidnapped. Judging by those last half an hour of this garbage it turns out that black family didn’t matter at all. Matt shows no emotions after first kid had died, and not even after the rest of Richards family  got slaughtered. Entire anti-racist idea falls in  water the moment when Richards family die and Sarah gets kidnapped. My advice: Don’t watch this disaster unless you are a supporter of Ku Klux Klan.