Posts Tagged ‘(Michael Dudikoff)’

Director Ed Hunt had had nice idea here. He had tried to explore (and exploit for that matter) one of the deepest fears of human kind – children. He probably knew that deep in our conscience we are terrified by even a slight possibility of something so pure and innocent can be evil. Unfortunately for him, at the end it was only idea with poor realization.


The beginning of this movie takes us back to June 9, 1970. Location: Maternity Ward in Meadowvale, California. We see an old doctor (played by Jose Ferrer) preparing to deliver babies of 3 women. He seems happy to do it despite the fact he is going to miss solar eclipse which started happening right in that moment. During that eclipse 3 babies were born; two boys and one girl. After that, fast forward to June 1, 1980. Two young people are expressing their love on the local cemetery. As a highlight of this romantic act guy takes the girl into open  grave where he intends to bone her. No such luck since he took 2 hits to his noodle with shovel when he stood up to check up some noise he was hearing. Girl wasn’t spared either as she ended up strangled with something that looks like a shoelace to me (though in the later scene Sherriff claimed it was a skipping rope). Guy went back on his feet and tried to save her but BAM… another hit of shovel finished him off. At least they died hugging each other and buried together. What will the real owner of the grave say when he finds intruders at his resting place?


Later that night the 10 years old boy Timmy (played by K.C. Martel) sneaks into his house through the window. His sister Joyce (played by Lori Lethin) notices him but she didn’t find anything suspicions about that or his excuse of going out to feed a dog. No surprise there though, since she is into some astrological mumbo jumbo. Anyway, the next day Sherriff came by to school asking questions about last night murder. Why did him come to interrogate a bunch of 10 years old kids about some gruesome murder is beyond my reach. Oh yes, he found the part of a skipping rope. Yup it makes sense, when you think about it. That item surely couldn’t have gotten there earlier than previous night. 3 of them in the class seemed to knew something about that. The very same 3 who asked the teacher if their entire class could be excused from homework since they are having birthdays next week. The teacher cooled off them with words “Just because you are all having the same birthday doesn’t mean you are special”. No argue with that. Kids took it seemingly pretty well and went home. There, the girl Debbie (played by Elizabeth Hoy) shows an outstanding talent for pimping since she charges a quarter to Steven (played by Andrew Freeman) and Curtis (played by Billy Jayne, who you might be remembering from “Charmed” TV series) for watching her slutty sister Beverly (played by Julie Brown) through a peephole while changing her clothes. This scene sends loud and clear message that even women are encouraging pimping and prostitution overall (which is not shocking at all when you think about it).

GolotinjaPeep hole is for peeping

Any suspense about who is killer (if there were any) was cleared out 20 minutes after movie started when Debbie and her companions killed Debbie’s father Sherriff James (played by Bert Kramer) with a baseball bat in broad daylight in front of his very own house! No time like a present, I would say. Explanation was that he died by walking onto skateboard on stairs. Why no one tried to explain bruises from baseball bat? Also, that is a moment when every logic of film-making went downhill and over the cliff, falling into humiliating death. The following scene proves my words because it shows James’ funeral which took place the very same day when he was murdered. If you look closer, you can spot young Michael Dudikoff among mourners who plays Beverly’s boyfriend Willard.

Spot a ninjaSpot a ninja

Timmy saw them standing around Sherriff’s corpse which makes him the next target. Under the excuse of play-date (man this word sounds so pathetic). Curtis lures Timmy into the junkyard where he locks him up inside old fridge. After a bit of struggling Timmy manages to escape such death box (or cold grave if you will have it). He runs home and tells everything to Joyce but she wouldn’t believe him (well duh), including his confession about peeping through peephole at Debbie’s home the night of the murder. Meanwhile, Debbie and her gang are making a scrapbook of death. Another entry is going to be made. Yup, they are planning to kill their teacher Miss Davis (played by Susan Strasberg). So they steal late Sherriff’s revolver later that night. The very day next Curtis walks into teacher’s house and shoots her in cold blood. Of course, this happens in the middle of the day as well. I guess classmate are going to be excused from homework after all and none is wiser. Well, almost none. Joyce, who is teacher’s assistant, finds her dead and runs away to her home. There she finds a note from Timmy stuck onto front door in which he states that he went playing at the junkyard. But he promised he wouldn’t go there anymore! At this point it is clear even to the dumbest among you dear readers of this review that this was just a set up. And you are right! The moment Joyce had arrived at the junkyard, Steven and Curtis (dressed as a members of Ku Klux Klan for some reason) started chasing her in some old car in attempt to run over her dumb ass. As it always happens, Joyce manages to save herself by climbing onto big pile of junk, leaving two boys to crash into it. Police came up quickly but Steven and Curtis had already escaped. So still no one suspects them.


Seems that explanation for their evil behavior lies in astrology. Joyce explained to Timmy that because they were born during the eclipse they lack conscience. How’s that, you might ask? Simple. Saturn was blocked during the eclipse and, like we all know, Saturn controls emotions. It is a scientific fact. It’s not the children to blame for. It is those damn planets moving around in their stupid orbits. As confirmation of Joyce’s words, Curtis shoots another young couple who were trying to have sex at the back of their van. In front of his house! Fit penalty for public display. Of course, no one has been woke up by gunshots from this mighty revolver so another funeral takes the place. They sure like funerals.

No public sex, kids might be watchingNo public sex, kids might be watching

It is a party time! All 3 of them are celebrating their birthdays together. One of the guests was a bit shaken by recent deaths but otherwise it is very cheerful there. Cakes are ready, looking delicious…But with one secret ingredient! Ant poison! Or it would have been if Joyce haven’t had bumped onto Curtis while he was trying to spice up the cake. She made a scene, but no one would believe her. She better have kept her mouth shut. She stopped mass poisoning. Let’s all bid Joyce a warm welcome to the hit list. But first things first. Beverly had found Debbie’s scrapbook of death. Instead to take that evidence to the police (though she did show it to her mother, who just ignored it), or at least become a bit worried about her little sister’s mental health, dumb slut burned the only evidence in fireplace. Well, not the only one. Beverly is now the only one who can link them to murders. Of course, Debbie wouldn’t miss the opportunity to remove this threat so she took care of her older sister by using a bow and arrow through peephole. Though, after this move, the only thing Debbie can do is to hang “Out of business” sign.


Now the mystery starts to unfold. Picture of Joyce is the first entry in new scrapbook of death thus making her to be officially on the blacklist. All cards are on the table. Debbie, Steven and Curtis are openly trying to kill Joyce and Timmy wherever and whenever they can. After some chasing and gunning scenes, Steven is subdued when a bowl of water is thrown in his face, while Curtis simply runs out of bullets and gets beaten up. Only Debbie uses her brain to escape , and her mother (head still firmly inserted into her own backside) sneaks her away and flees town with her. The movie’s ending reveals that mom and daughter remain at large under different identity and that Debbie has claimed another victim, thus setting the stage for a sequel, which fortunately never

Conclusion: As I have it understood, message of this movie is following: Anyone, who has been born the same day as anyone else, is evil. And that’s not the biggest problem here. Bigger problems are executioners, who are undoubtedly the least imposing genre villains ever presented. One them possess the inhuman ability to fire a handgun that weights as much as he does. The clumsy staging of the murders is signaled from the opening scene (graveyard lovers), and blatantly lifted music from “Friday the 13th” just adds it’s contribution to negative score, save for the few sequences of nudity. Also, if you are going to put “Blood” in the title, you should probably put some in the movie too. Only a single arrow to the eye gag even registers a blip on the gore meter. Still, I find this atrocious movie worth watching because, deep inside me, I am just one bloodthirsty kid as well.

tbh00Michael, is that you?

After a many years spent drinking beer in front of the local stores and doing absolutely nothing Michael Dudikoff has finally decided to leave his dumpster in ninja style and stand in line for a work. Since no one in Hollywood thought of him since 2002 (Quicksand, Stranded) he is no position to choose work. So he accepted the first role that wasn’t nailed down,  like role of Lieutenant Sheer in the independent garbage like this:

Once again Navy Seals prove their superiority in supernatural wars

Next we can expect “The Koff” as a Senator in Left Turn and then finally his full fledged return to Martial Art flicks (it has been too long) with Four Towers opposite Steven Seagal and Rutger Hauer.


While we wait for the long gestating documentary  Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014)  there’s this little gem that’s certainly worth watching,  a BBC documentary that captured Goram and Globus’s Cannon craze at it’s very peak. Enjoy and remember- if it’s low budget, has explosions and ninjas running around- it must be Cannon!




Martial arts expert (or at least they say so) Michael Dudikoff is having a role of his career in this movie. He plays no one else but Chuck Norris, aka Matt Hunter. Sounds familiar? This movie is a sequel to legendary Invasion USA, where almighty Chuck Norris had defeated evil Soviets. But this part is completely different (and worse) than the first one, and with  controversial background story. Or at least Cannon folks and director Sam Firstenberg ( American Ninja and American Ninja 2: The Confrontation) tried to look controversial.

Avenging-ForceIt must have been bad year.

The movie starts in a jungle. Two men are running in fear. They are pursued by wannabe ninja, sadomaso commando, and  a costume ball rejects. First one gets impaled by some kind of sadomaso commando’s spear (not that spear you have in mind). The second one gets strangled by one of costume ball rejects after entering a river, which caused ecstasy of perversion on the murderer’s face. Remember this starting scene, since it is  important for story.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_000271920S&M Commando – New elite unit!

Matt Hunter is former military intelligence agent who had resigned that job in order to take care of his sister.  Despite the fact that it had passed only one year since the first part,  he now looks younger and totally different.  Also, he settled down on small ranch, where we see him for the first time in this movie. He takes care of his much younger sister Sarah (played by Allison Gereighty), after their parents death.  Their grandfather is there too, who from time to time, makes a remarks about physical appearance of his granddaughter.  Rather sick old bastard, don’t you agree? While there, Matt and Sarah got an invite from their family friend Larry Richards (Steve James; also played in wretched American Ninja) to pay a visit him in New Orleans. Also, Larry is running for the Senate and he needs Matt’s help with something. So, brother, sister and oldman had decided to hit the road.  First thing our hero did after arriving at Richards family was kissing Larry’s wife Daisy (played by Sylvia Joseph) in front of everyone.  But Larry didn’t seem to mind. Matt later learns that Larry is on the hit list of so called “Pentangle” group (group’s name is the result of fail definition of pentagram), which is consisted of powerful rich white people. Apparently, they don’t approve idea of Larry being a black man who is running for the Senate. So, Matt Hunter agrees to protect Larry and his family. Oh great,  they should feel safe, now when the mighty white Dudikoff-man is protecting them.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_000515080Paying price for protection.

But during Mardi Gras parade, Pentangle agents attacks Larry and his family. Larry’s youngest son is killed. Of course, Matt Hunter wouldn’t arrive in time to stop bloodshed, since he was too busy partying. Tho, he did manage to shoot one of the agents into nipples while that one was trying to escape on motorcycle. But, that doesn’t remove taste of failure, so Matt decides to move the rest of Richards family into a safe house.  Meanwhile, at  “America for Americans” Kendo exhibition (where Kendo is represented as the most American of all American’s sports – I wonder what Japanese would have to say about this) Prof. Elliott Glastenbury (played by John P. Ryan), founder of  Pentangle group, is holding a racist anti-mexican speech, in which he calls upon all of his followers to take weapons in hands and clean the USA of illegal immigrants. His speech is followed by cheers of approval and state of ecstasy on faces of his followers.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_001499040This is the effect that inspirational racist speech should have on it’s listeners.

Matt asks his former boss to get him some info about Pentangle group.  It turns out that they are powerful racist paramilitary group, whose favorite hobby is hunting people and they don’t want black man to be elected to Senate.  After departing with Larry at hospital, Matt finds Ku Klux Klan style note written on Richards’ residence. He doesn’t seem to be much aggravated by this vandalism attempt.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_001642320It has been written black on white!

Next morning, Larry receives a call from so called Television 11 in which he has been asked to discuss recent tragic events. It’s obviously a trap so Matt goes with him. And they were right…. It is a trap!!! So, they chased Pentangle agents, eventually forcing them to withdraw to some construction yard.  And that’s where fight begins. I won’t describe it, since you can watch that fight right under this text*. I’ll just point you to pay attention on interesting contrast between black Larry (who is real martial arts expert) and white Dudikoff (self-proclaimed martial arts expert).

*above mentioned fight. Enjoy if you can.

Pentangle learns about Matt Hunter and they decide to take him out too. Remember the safe house where Matt took Richards family? That would be his ranch. How cunning of him. So they should be completely safe there, right? WRONG!!!   Pentangle agents burned safe house to the ground. Daisy is no more and Larry, the only cool guy in this movie, is moments from death. There, in his last moments, Larry had Matt to promise him that he will protect his only remaining son. Matt took a vow with no doubt on his face. So that should settles it, right? WRONG AGAIN!!! The only Richards remaining offspring is brutally killed couple of moments later, after falling with Matt from the roof. We notice that old movie rule according to which children won’t die even in gruesome horrors doesn’t apply here too. At least not for black children. So, the entire black family has been wiped out, despite protection of Matt Hunter! And his sister Sarah (whose acting is even worse than Dudikoff’s) is kidnapped. Now it’s personal!!!

No comment.

Furious by the fact that his sister has been kidnapped (and, in much less measure, by his failing to fulfil the promise given to Richards) Matt Hunter goes in one man crusade against Pentangle agents, fighting against sadomaso commando, costume ball rejects, kabuki ninjas, transvestites and somewhere along the way managing to save Sarah… Every encounter was 1v1, and Dudikoff got beaten almost to death by every single Pentangle agent, in fighting scenes that make American Ninja look like Bruce Lee movie!!! However, Matt manages to kill each and one of them in most ridiculous ways that sickos from Cannon could have imagined. In his final fight, he beats evil Prof. Elliott in his own mansion, thus putting  an end to racist tyranny.

Avenging Force (1986).avi_004646480

Conclusion: Although this should be an anti-racist movie, we couldn’t help but notice that black people are represented here as puny, weak, incompetent bunch, who would die without a help of white man. Also, for an anti-racist film, there is surprisingly large number of dead black people. They are dying like flies and actually not a single one of them  makes it through the end. Last 30 minutes of movie are such confusion and bullshit. Why? Well, because Matt Hunter didn’t actually put much effort until the moment his sister got kidnapped. Judging by those last half an hour of this garbage it turns out that black family didn’t matter at all. Matt shows no emotions after first kid had died, and not even after the rest of Richards family  got slaughtered. Entire anti-racist idea falls in  water the moment when Richards family die and Sarah gets kidnapped. My advice: Don’t watch this disaster unless you are a supporter of Ku Klux Klan. 

         We recently covered the ridiculous (but fun) Kickboxer IV: The Aggressor but now we got some fascinating follow-up news Director of Kickboxer IV (and also Kickboxer II: The Road Back ) Albert Pyun is considering teaming up with Sasha Mitchell once again for another Kickboxing epic, this time in the form of 12 part web series and we even have an official synopsis (although it is an early draft and some things could change before the final product emerges). You may notice that hero’s name is changed from David to Daniel due to Pyun not possessing the rights for Kicboxer franchise (that’s also considered for a reboot by a big studio) but don’t let that bother you, he’s essentially the same character. Here’s the synopsis from the Pyun-man himself!

        “In hiding in South America for the past 20 years, happy working as blacksmith and raising his family off the grid in a small high mountain village in the Andes, Daniel (SASHA MITCHELL), is reluctantly drawn into a conflict between a drug cartel and his village. In the aftermath, an old friend of Daniel’s from his days running a gym, JOE ( Michael Dudikoff?), now a DEA agent stationed in the region, offers his help.In a bigger skirmish with Cartel soldiers recognize Daniel as an ex-kickboxing champion and set out to force him to fight in UFC style fights to the death the Cartel stages deep in the Amazon jungle and Cartel territory. In an attack, Daniel’s family is captured by the Cartel and force marched deep into the amazon jungle. Danny goes after the Cartel, and, with the help of a village elder and Joe, tracks the Cartel deep into the Amazon. In the process, Daniel is captured and forced to participate in a MMA event staged by a Cartel for the pleasure of all Cartel bosses worldwide. The Pay For View signal is pirated around the world so audiences watch Daniel using his old style Muay Thai and Kickboxing against modern MMA styles.

A Pay For View Cartel event with, for Daniel, the prize his family’s life.”

Pyun  plans to start filming as soon as he’s done with Cyborg Nemesis: The Dark Rift. It could be as early as July, and setting is interestingly Ecuador. He also confirmed that he would absolutely love to include Michael Dudikoff (American Ninja, Avenging Force) as a local DEA agent and Sasha’s ally. As they worked together before on the manic Radioactive Dreams it would be timely reunion for those two.


Sasha Mitchell playing with his dog, as far as we know the dog doesn’t have a role in the new Kickboxer series, yet…

Arrow to the head, Dudikoff style!

After a complete disaster of an American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt, directors have somehow  managed to convince the  franchise veteran Michael Dudikoff to come back for one more sequel. Oh ,how delusional were they. Not only did he fail at raising the quality of the picture but the movie turned out to be even worse than it’s prequel. And how could he have saved this picture anyway? He is not much of an actor (tho in this part he did put the most effort since the beginning of  the franchise). His feeble attempts to play a role of martial arts master had been heavily crippled by the fact that he doesn’t know anything about martial arts, fighting and generally acting overall. The only successful fighting scenes were the ones when he was wearing a mask which made me think that some poor stunt-double  had to work extra hard that day.

The less being said about the other roles the better. Bradley is decent enough of a lead (he is at least a real martial artist for a change) but he gets captured fairly easily in the first quoter of a film ( by a giant net nevertheless) and mostly does nothing but shows off  his pecs while being tied or tortured. Main love interest (?) doesn’t do anything but smile/ or scream, and a default black sidekick doesn’t do even that. Villains are cartoonish as it gets- we have a dictator who enjoys torturing people and can’t decide is he attracted to young boys or older women, his partner, an Islamic fundamentalist (with the Russian accent for some reason) who threatens to punish  “the infidels” and has immortal lines like “Take me to Mekka” while he flees the scene in a helicopter.

                        There’s also this Mexican Wrestler- looking dude in there somewhere, what’s his connection                                         with the Ninjas or the South African background we can only guess.

I am not sure if this was  originally in the script but I could swear that the crew of this movie accidentally crashed into the filming set of “Mad Max” (possibly the Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior ) at one point since a bunch of  savage motorcycle gang members suddenly appeared without any descent explanation.

There are a LOT of things wrong with this picture but I won’t waste any more time- yours or mine- on this garbage! This is a part where I leave you to marvel at the many deaths of many ninjas… a main by-product of this horrible picture.

Ninjas – Now in all colors and sizes