Posts Tagged ‘Lynn Banashek’

First prize is… DEATH! Second one too.

 

Now, as we all know the  best thing about the 80’s is the fact that they were flooded with slasher movies ever since the surprise success of the first John Carpenter’s Halloween. In the sea of Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger movies there were naturally a few oddballs like: The Prowler, Silent Night, Deadly Night, The Funhouse and Hell Night  but then you have something like the Fatal Games– a movie that is a unholy union of a coming of age sport drama and a slasher. You know you’ll get something special  with that concept.

Falcon Academy of Athletics that prides itself in producing and nurturing an Olympic– level talent in a number of sports. And it couldn’t be more confusing when the movies starts with a super- motivating 80’s music. You want to jog or lift weights right away.

Shuki Levy feat. Deborah SheltonFatal Games

Just listen to this shit!

After a super- boring speech and some gratitous nudity we get to the  first and best kill of the movie. The weightlifting girl is overjoyed and in the middle of impressive military  press  when she gets impaled almost super-humanly to the wall.

Those leg warmers didn’t help you, did they?

 

That’s a really unique way to kill a person, very different from the usual close range attack of other Slashers. And the strange thing is the killer keeps prowling around and bodies keep piling up yet nobody seems to notice.  Then we have the nurse complains about the Doctor shooting too much steroids into kids. The “good” doctor doesn’t seem fazed by it, he insist they must go on– man,  he must be some cousin of Dr. Mengele. Most of the kids continue to train not suspecting anything but javelin thrower seems suspiciously mad.

Trivia: this lady received a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Oscar in ’87 surprisingly  not for this performance

 

Nurse begrudgingly accept and continues working with students, which also consists of giving butt massages.  Also she casually informs Annie of the new program for her- retardation injection!!! That’s because the Dr. is concerned with her developing a bust– go figure. Man, even steroids are great compared to this.


They finally realized that the weightlifting chick is missing, a black girl too… It took them long enough to finally call the cops but  cops don’t actually manage to do anything. Parties and highschool drama continue, including  but not limited to a stupid blonde loosing track and field (and crying to her lesbian- looking coach) , and Annie reacting horribly to the retardation drugs. I wonder why?

Also Annie’s boyfriend menages to break a leg- literally and epically and seemingly gets out of the competition. Maybe this will save his life?

He really did…

Back on the field  for some reason the javelin thrower is still pissed as fuck. Unfortunately it doesn’t get better for him, ’cause he ends up stabbed himself. Not too long ago he was throwing the javelin but now he ends up meeting his maker because of it, how ironic.

I’d really like to know how they filmed this. It shoots so straight.

And the javelin killer keeps keeping on. Now instead of shooting the swimmer from the edge of the pool (some of the tribal people still catch fish like that) it turns out the killer is in the pool, squba-suit and all. And he stabs her from the floor up. Ok, I wasn’t expecting this.

smrt plivacice

Boyfriend turns out to be super dedicated, he actually climbed trough the window with the cast on his leg! He even managed to find bunch of the murder victims neatly packed in the student’s lockers.  But javelin killer doesn’t show mercy- ever- it  even killed the crippled guy! I don’t think I ever felt sorry for the slasher victim in my life.

Annie survives attack and ends up the school’s infirmary. Then it turns out that the real identity of the killer is- the school nurse!  Man, Annie can’t catch a break! Now the explanation, the nurse was originally- a male nurse . She was disqualified from the Olympic game after her sex- change operation became public. Wow, I would have never guessed this.

She just left this laying around…

The chase continued and now her voice turned deep, like super- John Earl Jones deep, how does she do that? I mean she’s taking hormones she’s not possed by a deamon, right? Amy tries to escape by climbing onto the construction but nurse waits for her at the top. Unfortunately for her Ammie  pushes her and she goes straight down… right onto the trophy-well,  she finally got what she wanted!

Lesson of this movie is: always do the best you can because if you do the best you can- you’ll get impaled on the javelin. So, I guess- never try.