Posts Tagged ‘Don Dragon Wilson’

Virtual Combat aka Grid Runners (1995)

Posted: 29/03/2018 in Trash movies
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– “Dragon” Wilson doing his best Liu Kang impersonation!

 As the movies thought us in all the way back in the 80’s the peak achievement of science is bringing a hot virtual woman into the real world. In this movie it’s brilliant Dr. Cameron that develops the procedure that can take a virtual character and imprint it’s consciousness onto the cloned body. Naturally his first choices are characters from the popular CyberSex video game- nice and subservient girl Liana (played by the always charming Athena Massey) and dominatrix called Greta ( Dawn Ann Billings).

Comes equipped with her very own whip!

Besides being a horny old goat Dr. Cameron also has a solid business acumen- he tries to sell his ex- virtual babes to a greedy businessmen Burroughs right away. Unfortunately for him he ends up so caught up in his work that he fails to notice that another VR character is willing himself to a physical form– a final boss of the Virtual Combat game Dante (played by a chiseled, long haired Michael Bernardo). Soon enough Dante kills the old man and I was really sad to see him go, he might have been an old pervert but he sure was a brilliant scientist!

And how does he keep his Video Game powers in a real world exactly?

Now, Dante is none other the character that’s been giving our here Quarry (Don “Dragon” Wilson) nightmares. You see Quarry is a Grid Runner ( a kind of a VR Cop) and he uses all of his free credits on just that game.  He could never get past Dante in the Level 10 of Virtual Combat. And to be honest, I do know how that feels like (’cause I’m that generation that grew up with Sega Mega Drive 2). Naturally a nightmare turns oh too real when Wilson’s partner gets killed by Dante while tracking the girls.

Naturally Wilson vows to avenge his fallen partner even if that means disobeying a direct order by his boss.  To get to the bottom of things he starts fighting anyone and everyone that stands in his way (from the gang members to the cops!) and he even ends up throwing down with none other than suited- up Loren Avedon (The King of the Kickboxers,  No Retreat, No Surrender III) and I must admit going corporate did not diminish his impressive kicking ability one bit! On the flip side he didn’t seem to keen to go running after Wilson so I guess suit does have it’s limitations.

After all the battles he lays low in a shelter where by coincidence he finds a runaway ex-VR girl Liana. He doesn’t immediately realize what he stumbled across but he gets her tracking neckless off of her and soon enough the rest of her clothes too.

Their moment of happiness didn’t last long because Avedon and his goons managed to track him down. Even after putting up a fight Liana ends up captured again and  barely makes it out alive. Then to make things worse it turns out that the leak in the department was his boss all along! So he almost got killed again. Well, at least he managed to  dispose of the Dominatrix Greta vie repeated kicks to the stomach and she evaporated for some reason (I mean you never know with those cloned bodies, they don’t make them the way they used to do).

Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead!

Now, we finally get to the final confrontation and the interesting thing is- Dante speaks only trough the unique form of telepathic narration (Bernardo doesn’t even move his mouth). Something like an omnipotent “Fight!” voice from Mortal Kombat whenever you see him frowning followed by a voice coming from out of nowhere.  Not really the reaction you want your Big Bad of the movie to project.

Now, in spite of all that, Bernardo shows some neat Martial Art movies and his fight with Wilson is good fun (even with all those cheese Special Effects thrown in for good measure) if not exceptional. “Dragon” also does some Bruce Lee tribute jumps and it all ends with badly animated laser blasts. Man, I do miss those in the modern movies.When all is said and done Wilson is back spending his credits on video games (he learned nothing?)- but now he’s using them to hook up with Liana and that’s definitely a better option than more of the Virtual Kombat!

Verdict: Generally, Wilson’s more serious movies tend to get a little dull, so his SF phase actually strikes me as a breath of fresh air. He did more than a few SF movies (Sci-Fighter, Future Kick, Cyber Tracker) but man he should have done a lot more!

And if you want some more Bernardo in your life (this time with his actual voice) there’s a pair of extremely fun and gory MMA style flicks Shootfighter: Fight to the Death and Shootfighter II that paired him up with the Karate Kid’s William Zabka and Hong Kong movie legend Bolo Yeung. Those are awesome as hell!

Trivia: Omnipotent voice is actually Michael Dorn- Worf from Star Trek: Next Generation.  Actually a great choice. Too bad they botched it so much with the dubbing process.

Ring of Fire II: Blood and Steel (1993)

Posted: 20/04/2017 in Trash movies
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In the late 80’s and the early 90’s many fine Kickboxers made the switch from the ring to an acting gig and there was always a steep learning curve there. For every Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren able to make a solid leap from Karate (or Full Contact Karate/ Kickboxing) almost straight to mainstream roles you had a fair share of people who needed years and years to get their acting chops up there, people like Jerry Trimble for example (these days an extremely capable actor- but originally someone able to do the talking only with his fists/ kicks).

“…  de la violence!” Who could resist?

 

Don “The Dragon” Wilson, a Kickboxer of a highest caliber is even below that comparison. His presence and acting capabilities seems completely at odds with his abilities in the ring. Where in the ring he was able to be relaxed and get his timing right in the movies he seems constantly tense, performing not only his lines but his specialty- kicks with such nervousness and stiffens that he looks incredibly lika  a Robocop trying to imitate Bruce Lee.

 

Movie starts with our hero (see Ring of Fire 1)  John Woo (Wilson) buying a ring for his pretty redhead girlfriend Julie (Maria Ford). She accepts the marriage proposal way to easy but they get interrupted- by a band of muscled up, biker looking thieves! Man, not a single boring day in the Don “Dragon” land. After killing an innocent man for no reason whatsoever the he good doctor Woo (yes, Wilson is a doctor in this series) jumps in to fight them with his bare hands! Police breaks in but Julie still ends up wounded, and we also get a bonus bizarre car chase (I mean the tire gets shot and the whole car goes up in flames)!

 

Now in the hospital Wilson and his retarded friends visit Jullie but he runs into the same goons trying to wheel out their compatriot in the freakin’ middle of the day (what are the odds)!  As always the fight ensues and Dragon accidentally manages to finish what he started by  accidentally shooting  the already crippled thug straight in his face!!! Doctor killing a patient- man this is dude is crazy!

Kalin (Ian Jacklin) gets arrested but quickly escapes and his second in command Predator (Evan Lurie) kidnaps Jullie. Then, what started as a by the numbers action thriller suddenly goes completely left field-in all improbably it turns into a Martial Arts remake of Mad Max series and Walter Hill’s The Warriors.

“You know that shit when they build new buildings on top of old ones? Well that shit still underneath is the Underground! Yes, the random street dude clues Wilson in and he finds the entrance to the Underground. It even has an ENTER TO DIE sign on the entrance, so this should be fun.

 

Also, somehow in the Underground there’s an agreement that guns are prohibited so the world devolved into crazy hand to hand fighting post- apocalyptic community. Not a bad idea when you thing about it. Going trough underground passageways Woo destroys everything in his path, led by a  guide- an old black Vietnam vet with a bum leg. Maybe they could have added a mystical powers too? He keeps  fighting different underground fractions one by one as he goes towards the center, the Trashcan Samurai (notice an old favorite Gerald Okamura), the Afro- Ninjas… he even fights the Skateboard Gang with Kali sticks and  flashlights!

 

Yes,  Dragon VS an evil skateboard gang! With the appropriate soundtrack,too…

His retarded (also Martial Arts friends) go after him, and mostly just kick the people already down from the Dragon beating.  Yet they manage to lose sight of what they came here for (like I said they are a bit retarded ) and end up in an underground hooker bar. Whore gang of course drugs them and deliver them straight to the villain. The only one who gets out is a small Chinese dude who gets into a fight with a disgusting bodybuilder chick.

“You are really sexy when you throw one of those spining kicks!” WORST. PICK- UP LINE. EVER.

Now Woo has to save the friends who came to save him. But don’t worry- no problem in the world that can’t be solved with some cagefighting! He goes against the Predator and deafeats him and you know what else happens- more explosions! The old veteran vet did his magic with rigging the armory. Sadly the final fight happens in the daylight so it looses some of the surreal, dream like quality other fight had. Also the main villain is just not very good.

 

Verdict: Even thou you can’t really call this a good movie it is a crazy good time, I mean it has explosions, over the top fighting,  90’s music and  (for no reason whatsoever) Road Warrior esthetics! But the truth is- this would work even better if it was an old school arcade fighting  game.

 

Imagine this- just with Don “Dragon” Wilson!