Posts Tagged ‘Garro Ellis’

Ever wondered what it would be like if an entire company has been led by women only? I know I was. We probably get the same picture in our heads: cushions  and make up everywhere, bankruptcy after the first job, walls decorated with Hello Kitty gibberish, astronomical telephone bills, complete lack of infrastructure and any item that could be even considered as useful, starving employees dragging on the floor looking for a spot to die… That looks real pretty much. But this movie tries to show us funny side of women management. Not that funny I hoped it would be…

Limo serviceLimo service…

We get adult situation on the very start of the movie. Boss of carwash company Melissa (played by Kristi Ducati) is making out on the backseat of her limo.  It turns out that their business from the first movie has been a huge success and a purchase contract has been signed with an international corporation  Interglobal Industries. CEO of that company Sanders (played by Larry de Russy) promises to Melissa (while he is crossing his fingers behind his back – very  typical for heartless financial shark)  that she is going to have full control over Bikini Carwash Company. Also, 3 more hot chicks who are in charge of  company are there – Amy (played by Rikki Brando), Sunny (played by Suzanne Browne) and Rita (played by Neriah Napaul). We can tell from the first look at  them that entire company is consisted of dumb bimbos, who just want to have fun and who are making such remarks as “two million dollars are twice as much as one million dollars, right?”, etc. Suspecting nothing they decide to celebrate signing the contract by dancing naked and spilling alcohol on themselves.

Seems like waste of alcohol to me.

But their celebration is a short lived. It seems that Sanders is not such as good boss as they thought he is. During the board meeting, when Sanders freaks  out at his secretary because his glass of water was empty, Melissa did some eavesdropping and learned about his real plans. It turns out that Sanders is  interested only in carwash land which is worth more than Carwash Company itself. Of course, for mere two million dollars they are going to buy that land and
build condos on it. Melissa storms in yelling “How could you do this to me, Mr Sanders” at him with her irritating bimbo voice. Although she has been offered to stay as a boss of new project, Melissa resents the idea of her life work (and underwear for that matter) being torn down with bulldozers. Obviously  pissed off by her remark made to his open flier, Sanders adds that he doesn’t negotiate with bimbos. Aside how big jerk he is the guy got the point there.

When crysis is up girls do what they know best When crisis is up girls do what they know best!

Melissa tries to save things by attempting to seduce Sanders right in his office but he has seen through her. Although he agrees to sell back company to her  10 million dollars. But since she is tried to seduce him he offers to reduce the price for every part of Melissa’s lingerie that hits his carpet. While  stripping for Sanders, Melissa drops the same article of clothing twice. I don’t know if anyone other had noticed this goof. So we come to price of 4 million dollars. It would have been 2 million dollars but Melissa refused to screw him. I don’t know why… Many, many, many other girls parted their legs for much,  much, much less amount of money. So it comes to this: Sanders agrees to sell them company back if they come up with 4 million dollars until Friday. And  Melissa recorded this promise on a tape recorder, just in case it comes to a court of law. But lowering the price wasn’t the only result of Melissa’s  stripping. She also got herself and other girls fired. So, with Bikini Carwash Company out of business and only 4 days left until Friday they need to come up with a new plan for earning money. And don’t miss Sanders’ sinister laugh after Melissa leaves his office. It makes him to look more evil.

The oldest trick(s) in the bookThe oldest trick(s) in the book.

Melissa comes up with the plan of selling lingerie on TV where she and her girls will be models. But they need to takeover The Miracle Network for a week  which got national and satellite frequency in order for their plan to work. And how they are going to do that? With their powers of seduction and with help  of the only person in company who actually got some brains. That person is Melissa’s assistant Derek (played by Greg Raye), a nerdy looking man who’s glasses get fogged whenever he sees naked breasts. Derek always wanted to be TV producer so choosing him seems to make sense. Oh he is done his part of seduction too, when they came to one of TMN’s bosses who is a hot, nerdy looking woman. Interesting thing is that one cameraman looks like former Serbian minister of  police department Dragan Jocic. Hm, makes you think. So, taking over is complete and countdown until Friday may begin.

Now that’s management!

Selling isn’t going as good as they hoped. Melissa realizes that they are not as tempting on TV as they are in real life. To me it seems that it has  something to do with the fact that they look like retarded orangutans while they are dancing in underwear in their commercials. What is the solution then?  Simple. Sex sells. Melissa decides to strike right at couples who need some fire in their relationship/marriage. Of course, according to them, lack of fire  is caused by not enough sexy lingerie. So, Melissa goes for back up… One of her employees, hot blonde Cindy (played by Melissa Barrick) is the perfect  person for dirty commercials.

The only reasonable way to assure business success.

BOOM!!! Sales is through the roof suddenly!!! Every couple wants (at least male part) special lingerie that will get dousers back to their trousers. Sanders starts to be worried so decides to get himself a spy. Which one of Melissa’s girls will have that honor? Of course dumbest (and probably the hottest) one  among them – Sunny. He managed to get her to his side by appealing to her vanity. Also, he chucked in a diamond ring and brand new house in offer. It worked, of course. You can’t go wrong with materialistic things when you need to win over a girl. Even if you need her just to betray her friends. Hell, betraying a  friends is a small price for having expensive ring on her hand and place where she can mate. So, in the next day Sunny was busy with writing down all rules  that girls have broken in their commercials and sending them to Sanders. Just in time when Marshall (played by Garro Ellis) from the FCA (Federal  Communications Administration) arrived to check what is going on National TV. You can see his reaction below.

This man dislikes smut!

As you have already guessed Amy (who is lawyer of Bikini Carwash Company) seduced Marshall and he gave them some bonus time. The rest is just cliché fill  up. Melissa discovers that Sunny betrayed her (and forgave her for that matter), girls engage more hardcore features in their commercials while screwing on  and off camera, managing to earn more than 4 million dollars until Friday which board, consisted of old men, was happy to return to them, Sanders gets fired, etc… Happy end, more bimbos screwing around and breaking “Emergency condoms” glass every fucking 2.5 minutes.

Even a nerd can score…

Conclusion: This is a cute story about bunch of sluts who try to save their half-ass company so that they wouldn’t need to do some actual work. I don’t even  want to comment acting since there is none in this SMUUUUUUUT! garbage. It would be much better movie if there weren’t shameful jingles done by A.Z.R.O. group inserted whenever screenwriters had a blackout. In short, first part was much better. It got some meaning after all. This is just SMUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!