Archive for the ‘Tribute’ Category

If you check out the IMDB page for Street Gangs of Hong Kong you can learn that this is a movie about ” an ambitious martial arts student who infiltrates a murderous gang in the hope of finding the man who killed his father”. Not a one word of this is true. Now lets set things straight and start from the beginning.

THE_DELINQUENT.avi_000056022Staring newcomer Wang Chung!

This movie was made in 1973 as a Show Bros’s answer to “new” genre of contemporary action films with less influenced by Peking Opera and more by gritty street fighting you could find on the streets (and especially roofs) of Hong Kong. The leader of the said genre was of course the late, great Bruce Lee. Public unanimously embraced his hits like The Big Boss, Fist of Fury and The Way of the Dragon and that made Show films( with their extensive wife-work and lavish costumes) look like a relic from the past.

Never the ones to back out from the challenge Show Brothers decided to branch out and make an urban, hard hitting movie of their own. The result can be observed right here and it’s one hell of an oddity, even by today’s standards! Movie punches you straight to the gut from the get go with rapid psychedelic colored images of martial arts training accompanied by some tribal, wild drums that send the whole room spinning. Before you recover from that you’re attacked by (even worse)images of people eating in a butcher shop/ restaurant in slums of Hong Kong.The level of disgust you feel can only be compared to the one agony you experience when watching Yugoslav Black Wave films (link). Our hero is of course doing some dishes at that awful place.Then he goes to deliver some food to the local Kung Fu gym full of young and skinny people putting in the work hours.Young John Shen takes a minute to devastate a punching bag (or two) but afterwords insists that he doesn’t have time for things like Kung Fu. Of course he again demonstrates his Kung Fu two seconds later when he takes the money for the food (yes, you need Kung Fu to get payed around here).

Next morning he again practices his Kung Fu and gets into a fight (verbal one- this time) with his father because of his smoking habits. Father practically chases him out of the apartment (placed in the even worse slums than the fist ones- if that’s possible) and then he’s stricken by a sense of horrible gut-wrenching guilt. That pattern repeats incredibly ofter during the film. Meanwhile … throws the cigarets to some neighbor kids, practically toddlers but already nicotine addicts! Man they really start early here. He goes to his job and there we find out his ruthless employer is in fact his step father- that might not be so bad but some Triad lowlifes decide to poke him because of it and he loses his mind. They settle it the old fashion way- fighting on the junk yard, full of stuff that can kill or cripple you. The only worse place would be the top of the tall building (but then I hear young Chinese people like to do that too).

THE_DELINQUENT.avi_000687286They start early in China, really early!

Badly beaten the gang return to their boss, fatty who operates a whore house and pretty much spends all his time there. He gets mad at a gang members because he planes to rob a Wing Kee’s whorehouse that’s guarded by Johns’s father (we learn- a really tuff dude). They should perhaps change the strategy. Now, in the meantime John loses his job (because it seems no one likes young people here in Hong Kong), and gets into another argument with his dad. Running away he meets up with his girlfriend but that also somehow escalates into a 30 on 1 all out brawl. I guess if I had John’s luck I wouldn’t survive a whole day.

After the horrible fight is over his girl is mad at him- even thou he risk his life to defend her honor. Things then get more introspective and we get some interesting flash back sequences that include John’s father beating on his mother while he explains that his father is in fact a good man- it’s just the hard life that made him that way. Now, that theme is quite fascinating- son loves and respects his father, and his father adores his son and cares about his deeply, yet every time they are in the room together they almost kill one another. If it wasn’t so ridiculous it would be touching.

StreetGangs1…I really do!

Then it the ultra romantic scene he’s girlfriend instead of supporting him urges him to get a new job and John pissed again- just walks away. After roaming aimlessly for a while he runs into a cripple, the dude that lead all the gang members against him. Of course cripple is now all fun and games because they need John’s help. Having nothing better to do, he excepts to see their boss Big Sean, in the whorehouse of course. Big Sean, knowing how teenage boys are gives John a whore to calm him down before they get to business. Seeing a naked woman body John completely losses his mind and jumps on the whore like he’s fighting for his life.

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Morning after (John spend the whole nigh with the whore) he finally has that conversation with Big Sean. Shockingly he doesn’t accepts his offer and decides to walk away. At this moment you have to admit that John rules. He almost fucked the life out the dude’s whore for free and then just went home. To his credit he did promise that he’ll pay Sean back as soon as he can. That of course sequeyed into another all out brawl, this time with motorbikes! This thing is going crazier by the minute.

After a devastating and grueling fight with bikers he ends up almost killing the cripple (big Shawn’s retarded brother) with a 2×4 and gets meet hook in his shoulder for the effort. He gets out alive but this time just barely. Police picks him up and detain him and humbled he bags his father to come and pick him up. Father, having a perfect sense of how to further destroy their already shaky relationship refuses. Whit that he practically sealed his fate- you’ll see how very soon. Left desperate without the help of his father John became the victim of the supreme big boss of the Triads who different than his underlings has a more cunning approach. He gets John out, gives him nice clothes, a car and his main ho Funny. It seems that a main thing to do in Hong Kong, what everyone is striving for i getting piss drunk and chasing whores. In the end John brakes and promises to help them get the codes for the safe in the warehouse under the condition that he’s father will not be harmed. Now the scenes where he pretends that he wants to help his father just to get the codes is probably the only truly touching scenes in the movie. The only time they are actually proper father and son is in fact a set up for the inevitable tragedy.

THE_DELINQUENT.avi_003983079Some father and son time…

After a moment of doubt John gives codes to the Boss just to learn that his father will be the one guarding the place that night (even thou he initially traded the shift with some other dude). In desperate attempt to stop them he breaks into the mob’s safehouse (some kind of sawmill facility). Unfortunately faced with a full rooster of the gang he falls short and end up tied to the chuck  waiting for a saw to cut him in two. Yes it turns out that the big boss of Mafia is… EVIL.

THE_DELINQUENT.avi_004467196See how evil he is…

Triads surprise the old Mr.Shen but everything is not black- it seems that in Hong Kong regular weapons for the guards is a shotgun! Now, he’s a bit short on bullets but he uses the shotgun to whack people on the head so it’s still good. After taking a beating Triads fire back with a host of big sticks and beat the old man to the ground. But after a second or two he is back on his feet and using a high pressure hose to fuck the triads up. Man, this dude is unstoppable! They eventually get him down again just because of the sheer number but Mr. Shen fought like a lion right until the end.

John survives his horrible ordeal but wakes up to find out that his father is dead. Devastated by gilt and fueled by uncontrolled rage he escapes the hospital and goes to the whorehouse that he burns to the ground after beating the crap out of everyone. Than he goes straight to flat of the big boss Lam. The fight gets increasingly bloodier by the second and he even gets a broken leg and harpoon in the stomach. He still finds the strength to enact his revenge (by choking the boss with a harpoon line). Having nothing left to live for as soon as he hears the police sirens he throws himself from the building and the last thing he remembers is doing Kung Fu with his father and then everything goes black. And officially every major protagonist of the movie is dead, that reminds me of the movies my grandma likes to watch.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1f2vog

Verdict: Ok, the main problem with this movie is that the attempt to make a realistic action scenes kinda backfired and turned into a mixture of what producer thought was realistic (and that’s mostly stylized moves minus the wire-work with added gore,), horrible social realism, and ton of late 60es, early 70’s psychedelic rock music and images thrown on top. Now that kind of mix is a thing you experience probably once in the lifetime and I’m not sure if even the same people would recreate it if they had to. Still, beside the point that they absolutely did not hit their mark- they sure hit something- and the end result is still all kinds of awesome.

Trivia: We don’t usually do this but because this movie is so rare, we uploaded it specially for you. Just use this link:   https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/34422466/Street_Gangs_of_Hong_Kong_(1973)

Some films are cool, some films are funny, this film- THIS FILM IS PURE FUCKIN’ PERFECTION!

Kung FuryEvery movie that has uzi- wielding Valkira deserves our support!

With it’s foundation in 80’s Cop Films, Kung Fu and vintage video games Laser Unicorn studio present us the KUNG FURY!

David Sandberg (also Johhny Depp look- alike) is the director and  eponymous hero,  Joanna Häggblom is “Viking Babe”, Leopold Nilsson “Hacker Man” and Andreas Cahlins is the “Thor”. Kickstart campaign is destroying all the records and if you want to join in on the fun be free to do that here.

2013 in review

Posted: 31/12/2013 in Trash movies, Tribute

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 16,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

After bombarding you with clown content we decided to round thing up with a nice little short that involves a computer hacker forced to face  three assassins including a killer clown  who come after him. Film is directed by Tyler Bohlman and stars the new bearded Martial Arts sensation (taking reigns from Bob Wall and Roy Horan) Eric Jacobus, known to you most likely as  Stryker form Mortal Kombat: Legacy series.

WARNING: SCENES OF EXTREME AND GORY VIOLENCE BELLOW!

 

 

 

 

 

WakaliwoodPeople in Wakaliwood get all the fun!

Now, sometimes you stumble upon a true  jewel of a B- movie filmmaking like it was the case with Fatal Deviation  but never did a random trailer on the internet open the door to the whole parallel universe of film-making like in this case. I’m talking of course of Ramon Film Production’s TEBAATUSASULA!

“COOMING SOON!”

Yes, Uganda has a movie industry! Yes, Uganda has strong genre- Action and Horror movie industry (called Wakaliwood)! And- all thanks to one man- Nabwana I.G.G. producer/ writer/ director and editor working out of slums of Uganda. In this age of “I can’t” this man proved you all wrong and he’s been doing it for 7 years non- stop. This self- taught filmmaker started his career with one course in computer repair ( he didn’t have funds for 6 months proper course) after which he used his new found knowledge to BUILD HIMSELF A COMPUTER out of spare parts he found!!! Then he slowly though himself the use of editing software and thus legend was born. Soon enough he founded RAMON FILM PRODUCTION- the name derived from the names of the  important ladies in his life- his grandmothers  RAchel and MONica who raised him through the hardships of Uganda’s Civil War.

Short part of documentary on Wakaliwood and Nabwana I.G.G.

He’s first big success came with Who Killed Captain Alex, first Action- fest ever produced in Uganda! His business became to bloom and he would in the year to come permanently abandon his teaching job and dedicate himself to movie making full time. Over the years he would gather a tight team of actors (who he trained himself ’cause Uganda doesn’t posses an Acting School), stuntman, martial artist, prop master and together they would travel to  all parts of  Uganda to shoot new projects and also distribute their DVD’s on local markets (not being able to pay actors he lets them keep 50% of the DVDs they sell). RFP as of now produced over 35 feature films including such hits as Who Killed Captain Alex, Rescue Team, Canibals and Return of Unkle Bennon! His films are even slowly making ways among the Ugandan upper class, which can be further confirmed by inclusion of English subtitles in his newest DVDs.

As it is a custom in slums of Uganda movie is presented by a Video Jokey, a narrator, comedian, and slum tour guide!

So, the next time you feel something is impossible or unattainable take a moment and think of Nabwana I.G.G.- then stop whining and start working on your dream! That’s all.

MV5BMjA1ODMxNDA3Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzk1MjE3NwThis man loves his job!

Cannon02

While we wait for the long gestating documentary  Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014)  there’s this little gem that’s certainly worth watching,  a BBC documentary that captured Goram and Globus’s Cannon craze at it’s very peak. Enjoy and remember- if it’s low budget, has explosions and ninjas running around- it must be Cannon!

 

NEXT UP!

electric_boogaloo_poster_a_p

The Asylum was founded in 1997 by producers David Rimawi and Sherri Strain (formerly of Village Roadshow Pictures) with an up and coming director David Michael Latt. They originally envisioned making their profit by producing a number of  low to middle budget Horror films per a year. That strategy proved almost fatal as they faced competition in major studios like  Lions Gate Entertainment (who despite being a big studio still controlled the solid piece of the pie in the straight to DVD world too).

asylum logoConsider this logo an early warning system…

Faced with a choice to completely rethink their whole approach or perish they decided to do something that was never done before- at least not with such precision and dedication! They created the new kind of movie- THE MOCKBUSTER!

In 2005 they produced the extremely low budget adaptation of HG Well’s War of the World roughly at the same time Steven Spielberg major picture of the same name, staring Tom Cruise. Blockbuster LCC ordered somewhere around 100,000 copies of The Asylum’s adaptation and next thing you know their business model was born! Rimawi and Strain continued to produce a string of lo- fi tie-ins to popular franchises with striking similarities to popular blockbusters (in the title, cover and to a degree a script too). That’s how we got “hits” like Transmorphers, The Terminators,  AVH: Alien vs. Hunter, The Day the Earth Stopped, Titanic II, Princess of Mars and Almighty Thor!

Their system is simple one. The production company averages two releases a month, shoots last only about three weeks, and most budgets never go past 200 000 dollars, all go direct to video, and they spend absolutely nothing on advertising or marketing. They share their movies primarily in three categories  (based on the budget of course) :  network television films (the dreaded SyFy channel), 1 million dollars or less due to the “star” like Tara Reid, Lorenzo Lamas or Eric Roberts and post- production for CGI monsters effects (think of the movies like Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid or Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus),  then we have Sexy Comedies and Horror Films (their original love), those take about 200 000 dollars each and we are left with (these days extremely overused sub- genre) Found- footage horror, and those are in 100 000 dollars or less range. I think by know you understand the simplicity and pure genius of this model and the greatest thing of them all- people are so stupid they don’t even notice what they bought/ rented until it’s too late!

Asylum collectionChoose, but choose wisely!

Of course things are not all sunshine and rainbows on The Asylum front. Recently Universal Studios filed a lawsuit against The Asylum for their American Battleship, due to infrigement with their Battleship.  Soon Warner Bros. with New Line Cinema and MGM fallowed, commencing legal action against Asylum’s The Age of Hobbits ( brilliant tittle I might add) claiming they were free- ridding campaign for Peter Jackson’s forthcoming film. Asylum eventually released it under the title Clash of the Empires (or Lords of the Elves depending where you’re from), keeping their exploitative theme intact.

ageofthehobbits_largeIs there a single person out there that doesn’t want to see this?

The legendary Wilhelm Scream is an inside joke among the sound engineers and  originates from a series of sound effects recorded for the 1951 movie Distant Drums. In a scene from the film, soldier is bitten and dragged underwater by an alligator. The scream for that scene was recorded later (by actor and singer Sheb Wooley) in a single take, along with five other short pained screams, which were slated as “man getting bit by an alligator, and he screamed.” It was later re-used in many Western and Adventure films. But the greatest triumph of the Wilhelm scream was yet to come! Motion picture sound designer Ben Burtt,  discovered the original recording (which he found as a studio reel labeled “man being eaten by alligator”) and incorporated it into a scene in Star Wars ( IV: A New Hope). Burtt is also credited with naming the famous scream (after Private Wilhelm  in The Charge at Feather River). Over the next decade, Burtt  incorporated the effect in more  films that he worked on, including projects by George Lucas and  Steven Spielberg (you can find the scream in every Star Wars and Indiana Jones film). Other sound designers of course picked up on the effect soon enough , and including Wilhelm Scream became holy tradition among the sound designer community.

Sheb Wooley’s other hit, unexplainable song by the name of  “Purple People Eater

There is a special kind of people that make good movies shine and bad movies fun and they routinely get little or no  appreciation from the movie viewing public – the henchmen. Long haired, muscular and more often than not foreign people whose sole reason for existence in the movie world is to look cool and die making the hero even cooler in the process.

al

This is a tribute to greatest that ever was, is and ever will be, the grand- master of all henchmen- Albert “Al” Leong aka  Al ‘Ka Bong’. With his receding but long hair, killer Fu- Manchu mustache and deadly martial art skills he embodied (but ultimately outgrow) Asian henchmen stereotype and went head on and all out with the stars caliber of Kurt Russel, Mel Gibson, Jean Claude Van Damme, Brandon Lee  and Bruce Willis and has been brutally killed by most of them.

Now I will let Al’s hand and feet do the talking…

During his storied career Al has broken all his ribs at least twice, cracked his sternum twice and broken his arms… none of that stopped him of course, ’cause he’s the freakin’ Al Leong. His popularity was so enormous that he even outgrew henchmen position and also stared in roles of dangerous Sensei  figures and even had memorable and frankly quite brilliant performance  in  Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure playing Genghis Khan (it was also one of the few films Al doesn’t die  in!)

al-leong-rapid-fire

His most impressive performance, when he was paired with the late great Brandon Lee who was good enough martial artist to keep up with him and make it incredibly engaging screen fight in the process and also because simply somebody  finally let him do his stuff instead of opting to kill him too soon.


Henching ain’t easy!