Posts Tagged ‘Brian Yuzna’

Our old acquaintance Brian Yuzna (Re-Animator, Society) is at it again! And he is actually working on a comic series which kinda makes sense when you think about it. I mean Yuzna movies did tend to be completely over the top and comicbooky as it gets.

Now, Tales of Blood Island is a tribute to the 60’s and 70’s B-horror movies made in Philippines, especially Eddie Romero/ Kane W. Lynn Blood Island series, consisting of Beast of Blood,  Terror Is a Man, Brides of Blood and The Mad Doctor of Blood Island. Interestingly Yuzna was actually born in Philippines so this is a bit of a full circle for him.

                                            Yuzna single-handedly  bringing the tiki- horror back!

Comic series is written by Mark Cerulli and David Sehring, drawn by Stephen Sistilli and colored by Dexter Weeks based on concept art by Anthony Palumbo. You can see the Kickstarter campaign here. It has everything from comicbooks to t-shirts to tiki mugs. And if it proves to be a success I’m sure a Yuzna produced Blood Island movie is sure to follow.


After the premiere as a part of Midnight Madness selection of Toronto International Film Festival Richard Stanley’s comeback feature, Lovecraft’s Color out of Space staring Nicolas Cage, Joely Richardson and Tommy Chong we finally got a release date and the official trailer.

Stanley haven’t lost his weird, supernatural touch and Cage looks to be in a fine form.  Critics are of course divided with some praising it as one of the best Lovecraft adaptations (OK track record for those isn’t that great) and an awesome comeback for Stanley while others deemed it unwatchable.

RLJ Entertainment will release the film in theaters on  January 24, 2020. Hope to see you in the cinema.

Trivia: Producers of the movie, SpectreVision’s Elijah Wood (The Lord of the Rings) and Daniel Noah also revealed that they are in the early stages of development of The Dunwich Horror adaptation with Stanley too, saying that they hope there’s enough interest to make at least three HP Lovecraft adaptations. It seems they could give Brian Yuzna run for his money.

As a part of Midnight Madness selection from Toronto International Film Festival (5- 15 September ’19) there will be a premiere of Color Out of Space, a rare non-Brian Yuzna produced HP Lovecraft adaptation.

In fact it’s directed by the Hardware (1990) director Richard Stanley, his first non- documentary feature since ’90! He was famously let go from the The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996) with Brando and Val Kilmer and has since concentrated primarily on script writing and documentary film-making. So, this could be a bit of a much needed comeback for Stanley + this seem like a perfect Nic Cage vehicle after already cult- Mandy (2018) last year. We definitely have our hopes up for this one (and let’s just be honest- as far as Lovecraft adaptations go, the bar isn’t set too high at all).

Visuals are actually quite striking here and I do hope they can keep it up and have this level of attention to details throughout the whole movie, they are doing it all with a smaller budget but we’ve seen some impressive horror films make the most of it time and time again.

Cage, Richardson and Stanley on set

Other interesting members of the cast beside Cage (Nathan Gardner) are Joely Richardson (Nip/ Tuck, Event Horizon) as Theresa Gardner, a one time Pocahontas Q’orianka Kilcher as Mayor Tooma and Tommy Chong (of Cheech & Chong fame) as Ezra.


You can check out more Midnight Madness stuff on their official facebook page:



We are all aware of huge gap between upper and lower class in all spheres of human society. And anyone, who has at least a peanut sized brain, understands that things will never change no matter what we do. Still, there are numerous movies trying to display this obvious injustice, and most of them are pretty good. But when Brian Yuzna tries to do the same it ends up as shocking, disturbing surreal movie rich with slimy incest and disgusting transformation of snobs and their inbreeds.


The plot revolves around Billy Warlock (played by Bill Whitney) not understanding his rich, uptight family. They mix with other upper class members, while Billy is more down to earth (but still, his girlfriend is also a member of upper class). He doesn’t seem to fit in with their lifestyle or with anything they do. So he feels like a misfit; nothing unusual for a depressive American teenager. Especially in Billy’s case since he was adopted. And when an acquaintance, his sister’s ex-boyfriend David Blanchard (played by Tim Bartell), plays him a recording of the sister’s debutante party (in which welcoming to society followed by Jenny’s (played by Patrice Jennings) fornicating with mom and dad can be heard), Billy begins to suspect something strange is happening around him. Of course, he can’t prove anything. Oh why no one does believe deranged teenager about conspiracy? Anyway, Billy decides to go to family friend psychiatrist Dr Cleveland (played by Ben Slack) and asks for help. He hands him over incriminating tape, which mysteriously changed it’s content the very next day. Billy was about to drop everything. It never happened, because after David dies in a car accident he decides to investigate his family and find a scary truth. Also giving Bill something to think about in the “my family is a highly organized collection of freaks” department was when he spotted her back boobies through a blurry shower door.


Bill attends a party hosted by his classmate Ferguson (played by Ben Meyerson), who confirms him that the first audio tape was the real one. And what Bill did with that info? Nothing! He picks up Clarissa (played by Devin DeVasquez), one of the sluts on the party,  and went her home to heat her oven. There he notice something is wrong with her body as well. Ah poor guy. It is hard today to find a girl with every of her limbs and body parts placed correctly.


The next day, after returning home and finding his parents and sister all dressed in lingerie (family coat of arms), Bill goes to Blanchard’s funeral. There he and his friend Milo (played by Evan Richards)  discover that Blanchard’s corpse is not quite real. But he is not alone in conspiracy. His friend Martin (played by Brian Bremer) approaches and says he must speak with him. They both agree to a secret meeting. On the meeting place Bill discovers Petrie with his throat slit from ear to ear. Oh well, it seems that this bird won’t sing. Or it will? Because the next day at school, Petrie shows up, alive and well. When Bill arrives at home, he confronts his family again (now dressed up regularly), but with Dr. Cleveland’s help, they drug Bill. Bill awakens in a hospital bed and thinks he hears Blanchard crying out. Or it is just his conscience? Nah he doesn’t have any problems with that. He leaves the hospital and finds his Jeep waiting for him. Milo tries to warn him, but he drives back to his house. Damn that was bad decision.

buttheadA hypocrite

And now the great finale! Back home again, Bill finds a large, formal party. There he finds out that his family and their high-society friends are a completely different species than him (well duh). Blanchard is there as well. So the party can get finally started. The wealthy party guests strip to their underwear and begin literally feed on the poor (just like in real life), physically deforming and melding with each other as they suck the nutrients out of Blanchard’s body. Their intention is to do to the same to Bill. Ferguson has obviously taken Bill’s insult (he called him a butthead earlier in the movie) to the heart since he turned himself upside down! Yup, Ferguson actually pulls his head out through his buttocks and says  “Well son, I guess you’re right, I am a butthead. Ha ha ha ha ha”. Billy decides that he had enough of this and, with Milo and Clarissa’s help—who is also of this alternate species, but has fallen in love with Bill, SOMEHOW manages to escape (no one actually have tried to stop him). Since this scene is too much disturbing for me to describe, here you can watch the entire party:

Conclusion: This movie would have been even watchable if there wasn’t last scene (which lasts about 20 minutes). Also, acting is bad and plot is a cliche, even for a 1989. I mean, there are plenty of movies judging class struggle. Of course, no one else would accept doing such sick special effects than Screaming Mad George. He even seems to be proud of his work on butthead. As for Brian Yuzna, this was his debut, and it was pretty decent despite everything (for a debut of course). And as we all know his career went rapidly downhill from there. In short, in spite of opinions of shallow majority, I dare to say that king is naked and declare this film to be a complete garbage, from this day on to eternity. Therefore, my final verdict is:


Being a huge Jeffrey Combs fans as we are we couldn’t possibly miss the opportunity to watch this “masterpiece” which was previously believed to be a lost adaptation of H.P.Lovecraft’s short story. Of course, this is  nonsense, just like everything else related to movie adaptations of Lovecraft’s stories. The truth is, synopsis on this short movie is based on Lovecraft’s letter to his friend Bernard Austin Dwyer in which author describes the strange dream he had had. The letter was published in the April 1939 issue of Weird Tales as a short story (yup, false advertising at it’s best) after Lovecraft’s death.

evilclergymanartUnleashed! Unleashed!

In 1987 director Charles Band decides to sex-up this “story” and make a short movie out of it. Of course, Jeffrey Combs is the obvious choice for a leading role. The plot is very simple:  a woman visits the home of her deceased lover, a clergyman Jonathan (played by Jeffrey Combs) who, as you may have guessed from the title, has many sins on his soul, including but not limited to- a murder.

Over the next 20- something minutes said  Brady (played by Barbara Crampton) is  tormented, both physically and mentally, seduced and molested by Combs’s spirit (while his malevolent intent is obvious just beneath the surface). The Archbishop of Canterbury (played by David Warner) shows up and tries to warn Brady but to no avail. Combs can’t be stopped. Catastrophically designed human-faced rat (David Gale, also know as the beheaded Dr. from Reanimator) shows up, mostly just to taste a bit of Brady’s ass but eventually he shares a passionate kiss with the Clergyman. After the kiss- the rat dies.

VTS_03_1[22-33-36]Her ass before the meeting with the Rat-Man

Eventually, she gives in, and gives him a blowjob to dead Jonathan while he was hanging from the ceiling (hey, while in Rome…). She paid with her life for it but got resurrected and she actually manages to escape the haunted attic, just without a small thing such as her soul. At least in the end she really insulted the Biblically old landlady who remarked that she was much more beautiful than her when she was young.

vlcsnap-2015-02-06-00h14m15s52True Love

Conclusion: This movie is unique with the fact that this is Lovecroft adaptation not related to Brian Yuzna or Stuart Gordon. Imagined as Dreams of the Witchhouse- part II it invites an open comparison to “Re-Animator,” featuring Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, and David Gale. In both films, Gale menaces Crampton while naked, her nude backside getting kissed by the man-faced rat.

VTS_03_1[22-21-25]That Ass

The only that separates this from Yuzna’s efforts is surprisingly eery score composed by Richard Band (?). He menages to convey more horror then all the other members of the cast combined!

Let’s get one thing straight right now: In the following review not a single word is made up or events from the movie are altered in any way. Furthermore, I am almost sure that I will fail in attempts to describe madness of certain scenes. By that I mean that there aren’t many words which could give precise insight into such level of insanity, madness, sickness, twisted humor, and mind fuck this movie provides. So let’s get ready for mind aptitude test and close view of final chapter in Re-Animator saga – Beyond Re-Animator!!!

Beginning takes us 13 years before events in the movie had happened. On one stormy night young Howard (played by Tommy Dean Musset) is with his friend in small tent located in his yard, telling a ghost stories. They think they heard something so they rush into the house. Meanwhile, Howard’s sister Emily (played by Barbara Elorrietta) is in the kitchen drinking milk. Why is that detail important? Because it was first Brian Yuzna’s mistake (out of many others) who is both director and producer of this movie. You see, Emily is drinking from a milk carton with screw-on cap on it. In 1990., when this scene is set, such type of milk carton didn’t even exist. Only with folding spout. Ok, back to movie now. She also thinks she heard someone and leaves a kitchen in order to investigate. She is crossing the living room (where we can also notice reflection of cameraman in large wall mirror for the entire scene; Yuzna’s second mistake in only first 3 minutes of the movie) and gets surprised by her brother. Both of them were relieved. But not for long. Zombie (well, re-animated corpse, to be more precise) suddenly appears from nowhere. He tosses away Howard and nerdy looking kid, and focuses his attention directly to Emily. No, it is not what you think. Remember, living impaired don’t have sexual needs. Zombie kills Emily by smashing her head of the wall and then drinks her milk. How many more lives will be lost in milk feuds, I wonder? Anyway, before poor zombie managed to finish his milk police officers comes in and blow his head off. “Who called the police?”, I hear you asking. Well, police weren’t there because of Emily and Howard. No, they were there because of none other than Dr. Herbert West (played by legendary Jeffrey Combs of course). They are placing him under arrest after causing Miskatonic University Massacre. So he is still alive. No one have bothered to explain how the fuck did he manage to survive collapsing of entire house on him in previous movie (Bride of Re-Animator). Nevermind that now. Important thing is that he is alive and still re-animating. Young Howard finds special green mixture used for re-animating. Mad Dr. West probably lost it while he was taken into police car. Zoom onto West’s pride face on the backseat of police vehicle and that’s the moment when well-known intro credits start.

MilkA trophy!!!

13 years later Dr. West is still serving his sentence in jail. He looks almost the same but acts more creppy and insane (yeah, that’s possible). And the fact that he has been incarcerated for so long time doesn’t stop him from continuing with his re-animation experiments. But he is short of corpses so he is using a rats. And what he is doing with all those rats? He electrocutes them, of course and takes notes afterwards. Hm what he has been up to now? His experiment is interrupted by dumb-looking Sergeant Moncho (played by Lolo Herrero). He brought new work assignment papers to Dr. West (in that scene we can see boom mic inside Dr. West’s cell; another Yuzna’s goof). And he learned a new word. Dubious. Anyway, what that new work assignment might be? Apparently, brilliant young doctor (played by Jason Barry) has chose to work at prison clinic. His name is Howard Phillips (as in Howard Phillips Lovecraft). But why did he choose this workplace if he was so brilliant? Warden Brando (played by Simon Andreu) asked him the same question. Same as hot reporter Laura (played by Elsa Pataky) who happened to be there because of interview with horny, psychotic Brando who enjoys electrocuting people. Howard has given them some inconclusive answer. Doesn’t matter since we are going to find out soon his true motives. One of the prisoners called Moses (played by Nico Baixas) has suffered a heart attack  and has been transported to prison ambulance where Howard meets Dr. West. After a brief talk over the Moses’ corpse (yeah, not even 5 minutes at job and Howard already managed to lose patient) we find out that Howard is big fan of Dr. West and his work in the field of re-animating and he wants them to work together. As even the dumbest among our readers have already guessed, Dr. Howard is none other than young Howard who lost his sister Emily 13 years ago. He even kept DR. West’s re-agent he had found that night for all those years. And they are going to use it on late Moses corpse. So basically, we got ourselves here two mad doctors. Of course, poor Moses turned feral and attacked them. Still no progress in re-animating. But wait… Best is yet to come.

Dr WestMad scientist in prison again!

While Moses has been locked in the box and beaten up by sick warden Brando, both of our mad doctors/scientists are conducting research. Dr. Howard provided everything Dr. West needs for his experiments. Dr. West believes he has found a way to restore rational behavior to re-animated people. But he doesn’t tell us how. Yet. On the other side, searching a way to cope with pressure, Dr. Howard managed to pick up horny Laura. During the first sex scene in Re-animator trilogy we can briefly see the reflection of a crewmember’s hand in a large mirror located above the bed in which Laura and Howard were making love.
Now, do you remember the rat Dr. West had electrocuted? Well it was the pet of another prisoner, some badass Mexican guy called Cabrera (played by Erneique Arce). Cabrera will have West’s ass if he doesn’t give him his rat back. Alive. Having no choice nor much time Dr. West decides to re-animate rat using his (in)famous re-agent. Of course, Dr. Howard, who is a bit gay for West, provided all ingredients necessary for making a shitloads of green liquid. As it always happens rat turns feral with supernatural strength. Now the second part – restoring RATional behavior. Here is how they are going to do it.
You see, when you die, last thing you see stays on the back of your retina, kind of like a photograph. According to Dr. West, he found a way to store that memory in small device called nano-plasma, in form of electric impulse (which he did earlier while electrocuting the rat). And not only that. It also tells the cells how to grow. So, he transferred impulse back to rat’s brain and voile!!! It was success. Or at least it seems like a success. Anyway, later that day, Dr. West was happy to give Cabrera his pet back. And Mexican was glad to get it.
On the other side of prison Laura takes another grand tour through building. She sneaks in Moses’ cell wanting to get interview with him. But warden Brando finds her and gets mad. Moses attacks him and bite his ear off, in that way earning himself getting beaten up with Brando’s cane. It seems that when you lose your ear your hormones go through the roof (someone call Jeffrey Combs to check up on this) since warden tried to force Laura to blowjob. Or maybe it is just because Brando is having really heavy mental issues. Anyway, Laura refused and tried to escape but warden was faster and strangled her. You guess what comes next.

Things are starting to get out of control in every sector of prison. West and Howard had re-animated Laura (and Howard calls her Elsa; another goof). Of course, she is still mindless since they lack nano-plasma. Warden discovers their secret lab. West uses an opportunity to knock him down, electrocute him and capture his nano-plasma impulse so he can transfer it back to Laura. But it didn’t turn out to be as ideal as they would think. It seems that Laura struggles between herself and warden’s attitude. Meanwhile, in prisoners part of building, Moses managed to escape his cell, beat down Sergeant Moncho, free Cabrera who sets free the rest of the prisoners. Cabrera also tried to rape Laura (she is got something savage in her, I can tell you that) but she easily repelled him with her superhuman strength. After that she joins the riot thus commencing a complete anarchy.

RatLunch time!

Wanting to conduct one last experiment Dr. West re-animates warden, leaving him tied to a table so prisoners could easily find him. But that came back to bite his ass since warden managed to knock him down and steal his bag full of re-agents. Even re-animated, warden continues to do his job. He beats up prisoners, kills Sergeant Moncho because he failed to fulfill his orders as a guard and then re-animates him. So, now warden has become the re-animator. Also, re-agent gives him a chance to fulfill his sick, twisted desires. How? He hangs prisoners all around. When they die of suffocation, he re-animates them so they suffering could be prolonged for infinite time. Man, this guy really hates crime.
WardenThis is gonna hurt.

We also got answer to the question what happens when you re-animate a living person. Though, no one actually asked it but it doesn’t hurt to know. Or it does? Anyway, while Brando was enjoying in suffering of hanged prisoners, one of the remaining living prisoners, a junky called Speedball (played by Santiago Segura) stole several re-agents and injected them into himself. He got really high, I can assure you. Meanwhile, Moses has cornered slutty looking nurse Vanessa, undressed her and started eating one of her tits. No, for real! That shows what disastrous effects prison may have on some men. But that’s not the end body parts feast in this movie. Get ready now! Remember warden’s failed attempt to force Laura to blowjob. Well, he found her again and this time he had more success in making his wish come true (thus negating my theory from the beginning of this review about how living impaired people don’t have sexual needs). You got to admire that man’s libido. But not for long since Laura bites off his dick and spits it. No, really! And it seems that dick has it’s own will.

Meanwhile, Dr. West has his own problems too. Half of Cabrera’s body jumps down from the ceiling and attacks him. Thanks to Yuzna’s “brilliant” production we can see the shadow of actor’s legs on the left wall. Great fight commenced. Half of the man overpowers West easily. Eventually, mad doctor triumphs by throwing poor half-man far, far away. Is that really a way to win a fight against handicapped man?

Progressive madness as we are coming near to an end. Dr. West finds Speedball and tries to get his re-agents back. Speedball really seems to did overdose since he exploded. But he is still alive. Without a complete front skin that is. Dr. West used an opportunity to retrieve re-agents and Speedball’s eye. I don’t need to tell you what does he intend to do with it.
Dr. Howard fights his battle with much stronger Laura. It was almost certain that he is going end up dead but eventually he managed to cut off her head. So that settles everything, right? Wrong! Aren’t you forgetting someone? Warden is still alive. But now he has become a crab. Or at least he moves that way. Dr. West engages in fight with him for one more, last time. And even that is not a fair fight. Cabrera’s half of body flies into the room (I only don’t know how). Dr. West, who is really pissed off in this moment, strikes it back in manner of professional basebal player using the warden’s cane as a bat. Now it is time to finish job. He electrocutes warden one more time, this time on electric chair, cracking out one more one-liner: “This experiment is over”. HA! Who says that scientists can’t be action heroes! Entire fight was spectated by warden’s dick and rat.


By the time S.W.A.T. team arrived Dr. Howard has already lost his mind. Dr. West used Howard’s new founded insanity to steal his ID card, leave a prison by introducing himself as Dr. Howard Phillips, leaving a poor, young doctor to laugh loudly together with Laura’s decapitated head. So, this time Herbert West is alive for sure at the end of movie.

Happy endHappy end?

Conclusion: I don’t know what I could possibly have to add here. Such madness can’t be seen even in most of Troma films. This looks like someone had Ed Wood re-animated. Apart of Jeffrey Combs, who plays Dr. West as best as he can, overall acting is tragic. Same goes for production. I don’t remember a movie who got so many goofs. Even budget was higher than in previous two parts when put together this sequel is the worst in franchise. It is simple – Yuzna shouldn’t be allowed to direct. Special effects and make up done by Screaming Mad George are decent but got lost in sea of bad production, repeating plot, severed dicks, flying torsos and eaten tits… But, despite all above mentioned, Re-Animator trilogy is far superior than Lord of the Rings trilogy, Indiana Jones trilogy and original Star Wars trilogy combined!!! And, I am going to repeat conclusion from my review of Bride of Re-Animator… When I die I still don’t want to be RE-ANIMATED!!!

P.S. For all of you wrestling fans out there here is a little treat for you:

NevermoreHynesJeffrey Combs is NEVERMORE? Right on!

Just as we were talking about the genius that is Jeffrey Combs we found out about a new and exiting project featuring non other than Mr. Combs himself.  The project is low budget biopic of Edgar Alan Poe that reunites Mr. Combs with his Re-Animator director Stuart Gordon! The only thing missing is the producer Brian Yuzna (but I wouldn’t be too surprised if he showed up too). They started the campaign on Kickstarter some days ago so if you want to donate and make this film a reality you can do that right here, right now. Campaign fittingly ends on Halloween.

What happens if you are a fan of H.P.Lovecraft who get overwhelmed by nostalgia for good old 80s horror movies, but you got no budget? Nothing, renting a  video is the only solution. But, if your name is Brian Yuzna, having no budget and no actors won’t stop you from defiling one of the greatest horror writers  of all times!!! And if your name is still Brian Yuzna, you will make nostalgic incoherent 80s horror sequel, which has nothing to do with above mentioned  horror writer, with the same crew from the first part (adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s “Herbert West – Re-animator”). But unlike Yuzna produced “Dreams of the Witch  House”, “From Beyond” and “Dagon”, this piece of fun can’t be considered as a quality movie. Hilarious yes, but not quality.


That this is going to be some really weird shit, we noticed before movie even started, when floating head of West’s mentor Dr Carl Hill (played by David Gale)  appeared in front of us, holding a monologue about his vengeance upon young Dr Herbert West, who, if you have watched the first part, decapitated Dr Hill, and  then re-animated him using a strange green liquid he invented, which caused serious massacre after. But enough about the first part. Sequel takes us 8 months later and 10000 miles away from the massacre at Miskatonic medical school. Dr Herbert West (played by Jeffrey Combs) and his friend Dr Dan Cain (played by Bruce Abbot) are at low budget field hospital in low budget war zone of civil war in some far country. They volunteered as  medics and they are near the end of their tour. No one actually bothered to explain how the hell Dr West had survived being torn apart by bunch of the angry  zombies at the end of first movie!!! Did he re-animated himself? Nevertheless, he is alive and more than ever devoted to his job. A lot of corpses and deadly  wounded soldiers are around him, and you know what that means? SPARE PARTS!!! Dr West feels like a kid locked in candy store. Of course, he is carrying his  green liquid invention with him! One soldier is still alive and he is on the table, but Dan and West fail to save him due to enormous shrapnel inside  unfortunate soldier’s chest. Dr West notices that soldier’s nervous system is still intact and decides to do the only reasonable thing one doctor can in such  situations – he is going to re-animate him using his trusty old green goo. Losing a patient gets the completely new meaning!!! Showing no gratefulness for being re-animated, the re-animated soldiers attacks Dr West, trying to choke him. A moment later, cute Francesca (that looks like Serbian folk singer Dragana  Mirkovic) storms in the field hospital and announces on very bad English that they have to retreat since their front lines are weakened. She arrived just in  time to see Dr West ending his fight by shooting zombie in the head. Why did he re-animate him if he killed him a moment later? Some kind of sick fun? Anyway,  Francesca (played by Fabiana Udenio) warns them about incoming enemy and then storms out. She is Dan’s ex girlfriend and no one bothered to explain what the hell she was doing 10000 miles away from her home in the middle of civil war. Not liking the Herbert’s idea of staying there and collecting body parts for further research, Dan entered the discussion with young doctor. Just in the  middle of West’s monologue about reptiles being the key for creating the new life, enemy soldiers entered the field hospital and attacked them. Both of our  doctors have shown us amazing skill with weapons, shooting one enemy soldier after another. Eventually, Dan saved West’s life but got wounded during that act  and that was the sign they should go back.


Now we are back to Miskatonic hospital. Dan is talking to Gloria (Kathleen Kinmont) who is seriously ill and is preparing for surgery. Seems that Dan has a  hot spot for her, unlike Dr West who sees her just as another body part depository. Dan noticed that, and another argue between doctors started a moment  after Gloria has been taken away. We’ll leave them discussing as we are going to pathology wing of the hospital. Dr Graves (funny name for pathologist), has  received a delivery from Lt Leslie Chapham (played by Claude Earl Jones). Dr Graves (played by Mel Stewart) is a cheerful pathologist who is in charge for the remains of the night of the massacre, and Lt Leslie delivered him the head wrapped in newspaper. The head belonged to no one else than Dr Hill.  Apparently it turned up on sidewalk in front of Arkham (so much about proper waste disposal), and, after 8 months, it’s still well preserved. Lt Leslie takes  the tour through chamber when other remains of the massacre are being held. There he had brief conversation with Dr Graves, who seems to be real nuts,  considering his black humor jokes he is making all the time. Also, besides other well preserved remains of the massacre, detective finds a green goo, which  Dr Graves jealously takes back with the explanation that he wanted to identify it first thing in the morning. The case of massacre is closed but detective  wanted to investigate a missing body parts (including the missing feet of ballet dancer). Dr Grave has only one thing to say about it – Who would like to  steal body parts? I think I got some idea.

It's mine

It’s mine!!!

Sometime later, Dr West visits the chamber with massacre remains, finding it’s new resident. Yes, it’s Dr Hill’s head. Good doctor doesn’t miss the chance  to have a little chat with his old friend and mentor, ending up in argue with severed head and slapping it with severed arm.

Who would want to steal body parts THIS GUY

Who would want to steal body parts? THIS GUY!!!

The same evening, Dr Dan comes to the laboratory in basement of the house where he and Dr West are living. The house happens to be adjacent to cemetery (how convenient). Dan wants to say something to Herbert, but good doctor is too much occupied by extracting green ooze from the lizard to care for Dan’s words.  Dan silently watches Dr West while he is making a stop motion spider made of wires, severed (and the most probably stolen) human fingers and human eye.  Seeing that, Dan decided that he finally had it enough and announced his intention to move out the house, while yelling that West’s research is madness and blasphemy. Shaken by what he just heard Dr West decides to reveal his true plans. He wants to assemble Dan’s love of the life, a woman named Meg who died  long time ago. To prove his intentions with evidences, West shows Meg’s preserved heart. That was enough to convince Dan not only to stay, but to help Dr  West in his research bu stealing more body parts. At that point it was clear to me that this is gonna be the most shameful “Bride of Frankenstein” rip off!!! In that time Lt Leslie pays them the visit in order to question them about missing body parts and Dr West’s research about re-animating the dead tissue. During their conversation, West noticed that creature he made escaped while he wasn’t paying attention and now roams freely through his living room. Spider  eventually comes on couch next to detective, who accidentally crushes it with Atlas of Human Anatomy, without even noticing that. There is no  particular  reason why Yuzna wanted to film this….I believe it was a comical relief.

This eye is missing one finger

This eye is missing one finger.

Always cheerful and ready for joke Dr Graves is keeping his promise. Remember his plan to try to identify the green ooze? Well, now he is testing it on dead  bat. Bat gets re-animated and attacks clumsy stunned pathologist. After some fight, Dr Graves wins by cutting both of bat’s wings. It seems that he had it  enough. But no, he now injects green ooze into head of Dr Hill. Seconds later, head starts talking to him. A couple seconds later head starts insulting our,  until now, always in good mood pathologist. Excited by this event, Dr Graves invites the guy who works at crematorium to show him a miracle. But head  wouldn’t talk to him. Completely crushed by this and previous insults he had to listen, Dr Graves finally loses his mind (not that he had much to lose  anyway) and starts crying like a little baby. While he is doing that, beneath him, our two doctors are stealing another body from crematorium. That’s the  corpse of another young woman, of course. More body parts to be harvested. On their way out, Dan meets Francesca in front of hospital. His smile is telling  us that he intends to impale his flag on her Moon, thus cheating his soon-to-be-re-animated girlfriend.

Weekend with BernyWeekend at Bernie’s?

Lt Leslie didn’t notice the obvious attempt of corpse smuggling, but he did notice Francesca, so he used his chance to take a tour through hospital with her, questioning and hitting on her in the same time. Interesting thing is existence of zombie reserve, located right behind children ward. Even more interesting thing is that employees in hospital don’t find it to be strange at all. Also, Francesca got attacked by zombies, but brave detective saved her.

Back to the laboratory. Our two doctors are doing last preparations for re-animating Dan’s long lost love. Only one part is missing – the head. After a brief professional discussion with Dr West, Dan decides to take a brake with Francesca, who has just arrived to their rendezvous. 5 minutes later, they are both in bed, thus fulfilling Dan’s plans about cheating his dead girlfriend. Meanwhile, in the underground laboratory, Dr West is fighting with leg he re-animated moments ago. Actually, leg is trying to strangle him (?!) Whit what, I am asking you? And all of this with Lt Leslie who is monitoring their house from his car parked across the street. Eventually, he storms in the laboratory, finding there good doctor experimenting with missing body parts, including the parts of his wife. Dr West was forced to kill detective and then re-animate him (damn, that man surely loves re-animating). As it always happens, re-animated detective goes berserk and tries to kill everyone around him, including half-naked Francesca upstairs. But her dog heroically sacrificed it’s life (and it’s leg) to save the beloved owner, for which it was rewarded with re-animation and human arm. Lt Leslie escapes and Francesca discovers their secret.

Detektiv i pas

Quick, someone call P.E.T.A!!!

Now, do you remember that our doctors are missing one final part for assembling the bride of re-animator? Remember that that part is the head? Well, Dr West managed to find even that. No, they didn’t put the head of Dr Hill onto woman’s body (though, it wouldn’t be too much surprise even if they did, considering this movie). Remember the Gloria, the patient from the beginning of the movie? She died shortly after surgery and Dr West managed to steal her head right before her body was sent to crematorium. Below them, Dr Graves is trying to have a little peace with disobedient head of Dr Hill, which is sleeping at the moment (apparently, even severed heads needs sleeping). But no luck. Head had woke up, immediately starting to give orders to pathologist. Dr Graves, refusing to obey the orders, stuck the apple into the bigmouth head mouth’s and throws it in trashcan, which forced Dr Hill to use it’s telepathic powers to call upon all zombies.

Two wise headsTwo wise heads.

Lt Leslie visits Dr Graves for the second time, but this time as a zombie who is under control of Dr Hill and who’s head is holding in his hands. He locks in terrified pathologist, taking his scalpel and performing a surgery on head of Dr Hill. On his way out, he tried to rape Francesca but no luck with that (I guess green ooze didn’t re-animate his sexual powers). Despite the fact that she doesn’t approve the work of Dr Dan and Dr West, after raping attack, Francesca run away to house of her beloved Dan, where re-animating of bride was already in progress. But she is not alone. Zombie detective is there too.

Freeze, reanimating police

 Freeze, re-animating police!!!

Gloria gives Dr West the lecture about blasphemy and sickness of his work, on which he replied that he created something not even God or woman could ever create. And what about with woman ability to give birth to a completely normal human baby, who has all the right parts and clear mind? I think he hadn’t thought of that. Being encouraged by successful re-animating of woman who has been assembled with body parts of every girl who died in this movie and by the fact that she actually recognized her beloved Dan (and immediately started hitting on him), Dr West even dared to call himself a God (not completely unexpected). Meanwhile, jealous Francesca tries to brake apart Dan and re-animated Meg. Bride of re-animator (also played by Kathleen Kinmont), didn’t like that idea a bit and seconds later we got ourselves a good old girl wrestling (well actually, one bad acting girl and one monster made of several girls, bolts, and wires). That feud seems that was enough for Dr Dan to make a decision with which girl he will stay. It happens to be Francesca. Seeing that, Meg torn out her broken heart from her chest followed by stop motion decomposing. Ah, love can really hurt.

My God, they made the sequel

 My God, they made a sequel!

But that’s not the end of troubles for Dr West. From the crypt side of the wall, an army of zombies is swarming into his laboratory with intention to rip his body apart. They are led by head of Dr Hill, who becomes a flying mobile monstrosity after fusing a pair of bat wings to the side of his head. Dr Dan and Francesca managed somehow to escape from grand monster based finale, just in time before the entire house, together with the crypt, collapsed onto head of unfortunate Dr Herbert West. Now he is dead for sure. Or is he?

Leteca glava

Conclusion: After extremely tragic, yet short, life and long, painful death, H.P. Lovecraft doesn’t even have peace of grave since imbeciles continue to defile his life’s works, and keep putting his name onto craps which have nothing to do with him (as is the case with Bride of Re-animator). Besides that, the movie is a constant battle to see who can chew the most scenery, combined with Yuzna’s dry writing and over-the-top effects (such as neon lights, shitload of fake blood, etc). I should not forget to mention  Dr West’s cracking one liners completely straight faced during this whole movie and some decent special FX effects of Screaming Mad George. Still, one thing is for sure: When I die, I don’t want to be RE-ANIMATED!!!