Posts Tagged ‘Small American tits’

Cutting Class (1989)

Posted: 09/07/2020 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

Charles Laughton directed once. Shame. So did Brando. Tragedy. Presumably Rospo Pallenberg, director of this tension-free 80s “whodunnit” slasher, realized that he and talent were but distant pen pals and laid down the megaphone. Praise be! As for the movie itself, it is cheesy 80s black comedy which fails at being either of those two things.

The film opens with a paperboy delivering newspapers. A paper is delivered to Paula Carson’s (played by cute girl from Stepfather, Jill Schoelen) house. Paula is approached by her father, Bill (played by Martin Mull), who is the district attorney, on his way to a hunting trip. He warns Paula to do her homework, not to allow boys in the house, and most importantly not to cut class (as it might prove deadly). Paula then puts the newspaper in the bin, showing its headline: “Boy who killed father released from Mental Asylum.” What a time to go hunting ducks! Anyway, Bill Carson drives to the swamps for his hunting trip. As he takes shots into the air, someone is hiding nearby and holding a bow and arrows. The person calls over to Bill  and fires an arrow into him. Bill cries out and then falls down to the ground, presumably dead. But more of that later.

Hunter has  become the hunted

Meanwhile, Dwight Ingalls (played by Brad Pitt) shows his lousy driving skills by almost causing two car accidents on his ride to school where he gets teased by friends for not knowing what is H20. Later, after gym class, Paula  walks past a set of bow and arrows and notices a leaf hanging off one of the arrow.She picks the leaf off. Clue already? Anyway, later she meets with her friend Colleen (played by Brenda James) and her boyfriend Dwight at a hot dog stand. Dwight then goes to buy Paula a hot dog, but he is beaten by Brian (played by Donovan Leich) who hands her one and says, “You had that look.” Dwight and Brian then have man to man talk. It turns out they used to be friends until Brian went to mental institution. Could Brian be that creepy kid from newspapers? My hunch tells me he just might be.

Ars gratia artis

That evening Dwight tried to score at Paula’s place but she wouldn’t give him until he improves his grades. Really odd condition. But he is not the only one who wants to score. The principal Mr. Dante (played by Roddy McDowall) seems to be perv since he invited Paula to his office in order to give her a present, which he deliberately placed on the floor so he could see her underpants from his hiding place after Paula bents over. Really nice view. Oh yes, and meanwhile someone burned art teacher in school’s clay oven, but spooky janitor will clean up that. Never mind that, lets get back to the view:

What a view

Paula starts hanging around with Brian, despite Dwight’s disapproval. Wanting to expose Brian, Dwight sneaks into the school at night together with Paula, Colleen and Gary (played by , where they find school records. It turns out that Brian is cannibal and was treated with electroshocks. But they didn’t notice Brian who is following them and hiding behind a water dispenser. Seems Brian is not the only one who like hide and seek. Tomorrow, at school basketball game Gary was hiding under retractable stands and looking under skirts. Colleen joins him just to find out she and Gary are not alone. Killer is there too and he disposes off them quickly with a knife. More blood for spooky janitor to clean.

Shot of Bill Carson staggering through the swamp takes us to next to school day. Dwight made another incident at class, Brian tried to back him up so they are both sent to vice-principal Mrs. Knocht (played by Nancy Fish) by their math teacher Mr. Glynn (played by Eric Boles). Mrs. Knocht suspends Brian for foul language and ends photocopied to death later that day. Karma, some of us would say. Meanwhile, police sends search team to local woods hoping to find missing teenagers there. One of their dogs finds Bill Carson who starts yelling at dog to get some help. Dog wouldn’t listen to him. Poor Bill can’t catch a break.

Dwight isn’t on easy street either. Coach Harris wouldn’t let him to practice archery without gym gear. They got feud there and Coach tells him to come tomorrow for private class with his gear on. Later that evening Brian sneaks into Paula’s house where he shows copy of the Mrs. Knocht murder. On the pictureyou can see ring on killer’s hand. Paula recognizes Dwight’s ring. She and Brian agree to stop him. Tomorrow, after private class with Dwight, Coach Harris decides to let some steam off on a trampoline. Our killer takes opportunity to sneak up on him and place sharp American flag under trampoline. Poor Coach didn’t suspect anything so flag thrusts him right through his ass. You might say he gave his ass for America. YEEAAAAHH!

Meanwhile, Brian and Paula are back to school to stop Dwight. Spooky janitor Shultz (played by Robert Glaudini) scares them away with his broom, while accusing Brian to be a murderer. They each run in opposite directions. Paula finds missing lovebirds in the locker. Then Dwight comes by and she starts running again. She stumbles upon Mr. Glynn, tells him Dwight is the killer and then they both hide in the science room. Doors behind them lock and the only way to get out is by solving math problem killer has left on blackboard. Mr. Grynn solves the problem and opens door number 1. Then, for no apparent reason, Brian reveals himself as a killer by yelling “Wrong door!” and chopping Mr. Glynn with an axe. Why did he do that when everyone else were suspecting Dwight is beyond me. So, the killer is the one who was the most suspicious from the very start. Seems to me they pulled Gyles here. Anyway, Brian was just about to kill Paula when Dwight shows up. Dumb as he is, Dwight ends up with his head captured between clamps so Paula had to use her girly charms, seduce Brian and finish him off with a claw hammer. On their way back they almost hit Bill Carson with the car who somehow staggered back to civilization. He asks Paula is she is cutting classes and that’s where this nightmare ends. Pretty dumb movie.

Conclusion: The basic ideas were there along with a rudimentary plot twist, they just managed to forget to add anything interesting in-between. So boring in fact, the small instances of things going on in the background became the most interesting factors. All throughout its running time, Cutting Class is careful to give both Brian and Dwight equal cause to hate most of the people who eventually turn up dead, while simultaneously serving up the expected obvious red herrings in the form of Schultz the janitor and Principal Dante. Unfortunately, however, only one member of the cast ever seems actually capable of hating someone enough to kill them, and that’s Brian. Now, when normal people make a “whodunnit” movie, they throw in some clues here and there as well as a couple of red herrings. What they don’t do is have the killer be the one person they’ve been pointing big red arrows at the previous 70 minutes. But Cutting Class does exactly that. To ‘cut’ to the chase, Cutting Class kinda sucks… A lot. It’s boring and slow and there’s very little to keep you interested until the end. The chicks are cute, the boobs are minimal, and the characters are uninteresting. I really can’t find any reason to tell you to give a watch. So give it a pass.

The Slayer (1982)

Posted: 30/04/2018 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
0

 

Ah the glory days of the early 80’s slasher film. It really does feel like these films were popping up left and right and who can really blame the studios for gambling on them, Halloween and Friday the 13th paved the way and the cash cow was going to be milked until it ran dry. Enter J.S. Cardone’s 1982 example…..The Slayer.

Fans of the slasher/body count genre already know what they are getting into as Cardone lays down the plot. Kay (played by Sarah Kendall; best known for her role in Karate Kid 2) is a surreal artist, who has been haunted by nightmares, her brother Eric (played by Frederick Flynn) believes a vacation with their
two friends would be an ideal way for his sister to ease up and start relaxing so that the nightmares in which she is being chased by monster will stop. Eric’s wife Brooke (played by Carol Kottenbrook) doesn’t like the idea of spending a week alone with unstable Kay and her husband David (played by Alan McRae). I was surprised to notice how much Brooke looked ravaged after only 4 years in marriage. Also, you should check sinister music that played in background when Eric cut himself during a shaving. Maybe the director tries to tell us something?

A

A walking nightmare

So two boring couples arrive to the island where they are going to spend unforgettable vacation. MUAHAHAHAHAHA They are being greeted by evil looking Marsh (played by Michael Holmes; best known for his role in Deadly Prey). Marsh also warned them about upcoming storm in the most odd way. Not paying attention to this warning two couple settle out for the beach with hope to catch some sun. Meanwhile, somewhere near them a fisherman gets killed by oar. I thought this island was deserted? Or they just want us to think so?

 

Later that night Kay and David had an argue. David was assaulting Kay because she is having nightmares. Like it is her fault. Kay went to bed while David had decided to take a walk around the house. He hears something at the attic. When he went to check out what that sound was the attic doors trapped his head, leaving poor David to hang from the ceiling. Seriously, how the fuck is something like that even possible? And yet he managed to die here. You really have to be a grade A moron in order to die this humiliating death. Of course, no one has noticed anything.

 

The next morning Kay wakes up in her bed next to her husband. She starts kissing him not suspecting anything and like no argue took place recently. Then the blood starts flowing out of his eyes and Kay becomes suspicious. She removes the cover only to find out that David’s body is missing. There is only just a head. She starts screaming and then wakes up, this time for real. There is no David in her bed. So everything was just a wonderful dream. Or was it? Anyway, Kay runs out of the house screaming and raising alarm. Eric and Brooke starts searching for David around the island. Kay’s dream came true when she found decapitated body of her husband hanging from the ceiling in some ruined house which Kay used to draw before. Coincidence?

Later that night, after putting Kay to sleep, Eric goes searching for possible culprit. He went to the boathouse. I don’t know what he had expected to find there. And he found nothing. So he takes a walk down the peer where he finds a fishing pole. While he was inspecting it a fishing hook flies out from
somewhere and ties up around Eric’s neck. Then the killer (whoever that might be) pulls his away into the sea. Well, Eric was talking from the start he might do some fishing on this vacation. Actually it is all he was talking about. How ironic.

 

Brooke starts searching for her husband moments after he got killed. Talking about marital connection here. And she goes where? That’s right! To the boathouse. Right where killer wanted her to be. She tried to escape but the killer pitch forked her from behind right through her tits. I guess her marital problems are now over and she might finally rest in peace. And that leaves us just with Kay.

 

The next morning Kay starts searching for her brother and his wife. She heads to the beach where she finds Eric’s bloated body on the shore and Brooke’s corpse already infested with small crabs. She starts panicking and barricading herself in the house while some cheerful ’70s music is playing in the
background. Nevertheless the killer still finds his way in. The struggle and chasing around begins until Kay had finally managed to shot the Slayer (played by Carl Kraines) from the flair gun. While killer was laying on the ground with his smoking body Kay took that opportunity to escape out. But when she opened the door a monster from her dreams was lurking on the other side. It materialized itself right out of nowhere. “What happened then”, I hear you asking. Nothing! Kay woke up once more. And yes, she was in her bed but as an 8 eight years old girl far away from the cursed island. It is  Christmas morning and her parents wants her to go and open up her presents under the tree. And her dad has a special present for her – a black kitten. Just the one Kay used to see in her dreams. Maybe it wasn’t all just a wonderful dream? What a unbelievable stupid ending!

I don’t like this present!

Conclusion: The Slayer only manages to scrape its way in to the slasher genre with its heels dragging across the floor. Like Dead Pit, Hard Cover and Small Town Massacre J.S. Cardone’s video nasty includes many of the prominent trappings, but tries to incorporate something slightly different. The majority of the runtime is pretty standard stuff as a silhouetted killer hacks off cast members one by one, but when the maniac is revealed to be a supernatural monster, Cardone stretches the realms of the category beyond tradition. The level of performance from the cast is really bad, especially the lack of emotion from lead, Sarah Kendall. Even when her brother and husband have been slaughtered she fails to look anything other than totally flat. But this even wouldn’t be so much bad slasher if there wasn’t for that idiotic ending. Sometimes it is better to finish a movie with cliché. After all, we were all expecting it.

The Prowler (1981)

Posted: 27/04/2017 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
1

 

The Prowler seems like one of those films that got lost and forgotten in the myriad of slashers released in the 80s. And not without a good reason. It makes very little sense, with plot holes as big as the one in the head of it’s director Joseph Zito (known for such blockbusters like Missing in Action, Invasion U.S.A., Red Scorpion, and Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter). The only thing The Prowler benefits from is the work of gore makeup guru Tom Savini, who provided the sliced arteries, gaping wounds, and sanguine floods that mark the film’s half-dozen death pieces. Hey, enough for me!

The_Prowler

Oh God, even a tag line is lame!

The movie starts with Dear John letter written by a woman named Rosemary Chatham in which she informs her boyfriend who is fighting in WW2 that she is breaking up with him because she can’t wait for him any longer. Check this out, while her brave boyfriend is fighting overseas dirty Rosy was oiling some civilian’s mast. What an ungrateful slut! Serves her rig…oh wait, we don’t know that yet. Anyway, to celebrate her newfound freedom Rosemary (played by Joy Glaccum) is attending a graduation dance in the town of Avalon Bay with her new boyfriend Roy (played by Timothy Wahrer), on June 28, 1945. At one moment they decided to go out in order to make out. While there, electrical power goes off and they are attacked by a mysterious prowler in an army combat uniform (now who might that be), who impales them both with a pitchfork, leaving behind a rose. In a modern world no electrical power means death.

Reunited in cheat

Thirty-five years later, on June 28, 1980, Pam MacDonald (played by Vicky Dawson) is organizing the first graduation ball in 35 years with her friends Lisa (played by Cindy Weintraub), Sherry (played by Lisa Dunsheath) and Sherry’s love interest Carl (played by David Sederholm). That afternoon, while visiting her love interest Mark London (played by Christopher Goutman), who is the town’s deputy, she overhears a report of a prowler, who may be on the way to Avalon Bay. The Sheriff (played by Farley Granger), off to a cabin retreat leaves Mark in charge of keeping order in the town and at the dance while he is away. Seems to me that the Sheriff flees tow because he chickened out. Let the deputy take care of dangerous murderer. That night, while Sherry was preparing for the party, Carl “accidentally” stumbled upon her while she was under the shower. She didn’t take too long to get the hint so she invites him over to join her. Carl went to undress in haste but his sexual appetite was satiated when the prowler shoved a bayonet through his brain. Tough luck, lady boy. His place under Sherry’s shower will be taken  by the killer. And he did impale Sherry but with a pitchfork instead of good old traditional way. At least he left behind a rose. Bayonets for boys, pitchforks for girls… That’s how the world works these days.

 

Without knowing that her roommate was killed Pam goes back to the dorm in order to change her clothes. But the prowler is there too. Pam started to run away and stumbles upon Mark. Instead of trying to help her Mark decides it would be safer if they run away together. Hm so much about the long arm of the law. Anyway, Pam finds the old photos of Rosemary in Major Chatham’s (played by Lawrence Tierney) house. It turns out Rosy was his daughter whose killer had never been found. She suspects it is the same killer. Well duh! In a light of new facts,  Mark heads with Pam to the dance to warn the chaperone Miss Allison (played by Donna Davis) about the possible danger. She interrupts the party by silencing the band which was signing about murder. Oh why always in slasher movies there is a band which sings about murders? Meanwhile Lisa, fed up with her boyfriend Paul (played by Bryan Englund) for getting drunk and sick, goes out to a nearby pool to cool off. Paul is arrested by Mark for public intoxication, meanwhile Lisa encounters the killer while swimming, who mercilessly slices her throat open. That’ll teach her to stop nagging about alcohol. Allison went out looking for Lisa and that’s where she met her maker since the killer stabbed her through the throat.

Night swimming and alcohol are winning combination

The local shopkeeper, Kingsley (played by John Seitz), complains to Mark he witnessed a disturbance in the cemetery, Mark and Pam go to investigate and discover an opened grave with Lisa’s body in it. They go to investigate Major Chatham’s house once more. And that’s where the prowler is waiting for them.  Mark is attacked and left for dead as the prowler then chases Pam through the house. Some strange guy named Otto (played by Bill Hugh Collins) appears and shoots the attacker. It seems that everything is OK now. Touchy scene between Otto and Pam looking at each other and smiling while romantic musing plays in the background was interrupted by the killer who recovers and shoots Otto dead before attacking Pam. HAHAHA what a fuck off! This scene made this movie almost worth of watching! Anyway, during the scuffle, Pam discovers the Prowler is none other than Sheriff Fraser himself (What a surprise, I never seen that coming, honestly)  and turns his gun against him, blowing his head clean off. Now he should stay dead. The next day, Mark returns with Pam to her dorm and she goes up alone. Discovering Sherry and Carl’s bodies in the shower, she screams as Carl seems to come to life and grab at her, only realizing that he is dead, and that him grabbing at her was a hallucination. I guess the message is that you can’t run away from the past.

 

Conclusion: As I stated at beginning of this review, this movie makes very little sense. I can understand killer’s motive for murdering his slutty girlfriend and her newfound boyfriend. But why he was killing other people 35 years later? Too many painful memories? Why did he continue his work after so much time? Why does he use pitchfork? He surely had some weapons left from the war. How comes that no one suspected him? And how he had gotten away with his first murders when it was so obvious who the culprit is? He might had deserted after receiving the letter but then he wouldn’t be able to rise to the rank of Sheriff. Very little has been explained here and these questions will probably remain without answer. The Prowler may not be one of the best films out there by any stretch, but if you want to see truly over the top, gory, overdone death scenes made by everyone’s favorite makeup madman, Uncle Tom, then give this one a watch. But only once!

The Dungeonmaster aka Ragewar (1984)

Posted: 31/12/2015 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
2

Ah one of the movies dedicated to the techboom era (apart of Weird Science) who glamour computers as a almighty machines capable of changing even a space-time continuum. Also, this one is from back in days when Charles Band still made great *cough* movies. Ok to be honest, Charles Band here had a help of pretty much everybody he is worked with that has some directing skills. But more about that later.

And many more to comeAnd many more to come

On the very start we see nerdy Paul Bradford (played by bulky Jeffrey Byron), a self-proclaimed Xerox machine A-class troubleshooter who is able to diagnose a malfunction with just plain looking at machine through his futuristic glasses (which looks the same as just any other nerdy thick glasses). Paul, like any other nerd, watches over his physique so he starts jogging after his work hours. Somewhere along the way he meets a flower girl and decides to buy a bouquet. The fact that his wallet is completely empty (not even a personal documents in it) doesn’t concern him because he has glasses! A couple of seconds looking into ATM machine is enough for hacking it and taking amount of money enough to buy a flowers. And for whom is that flowers? For his girlfriend Gwen (played by Leslie Wing) of course, because every nerd has a girlfriend fitness instructor. When Gwen comes home he asks her to marry him. Normally, that is not a reason for a girl to go mad like Gwen did but these are not an ordinary circumstances. The reason why she got pissed off is that that marriage proposal suggestion came from Paul’s experimental computer named Cal. Paul listens to and talks to his computer much more often than he should have. Anyway, Gwen and
Paul go to bed earlier that night and that’s mistake they shouldn’t have made. Because while they were asleep they got teleported to another dimension through Paul’s glasses! Just like that! A moments later Gwen gets captured and Paul finds himself running through the wilderness wearing a medieval clothes, Then a mysterious wizard appears in front of him and reveals that he is responsible for teleportation. Why? Because he believes that Paul is worthy opponent for him. Wizard introduces himself as Prince of Darkness Mestema (played by Richard Moll), who is impressed by “magic” of machines and holds Paul as a master of technology. He also places 7 challenges which Paul must pass in order to release Gwen from captivity. For that Mestema had granted Paul all time access to his computer, by placing chips onto Paul’s arm. So basically, it is a never-ending fight between magic and technology.

MagicMagic

Before he could get what’s going on Paul got teleported (see the picture above) to his first task. He wakes up in wilderness and finds that funny looking dwarves have stolen his strap-on arm computer. He follows them to some cave entrance when he finds his machine left by dwarves. Suspecting nothing he takes and turns his back to go away. But it was a trap! A huge stone giant who was sitting above cave entrance come to life by ridiculous, cheesy stop motion. Giant starts chasing Paul through the jungle. After couple of minutes Paul got bored of playing hide and seek with giant so he destroys him by plain shooting
laser beam to red crystal located above giant’s eyes. First challenge completed.

Much worse stop-motion than Harry Hausen was doing in 1950s

Paul is back to original another dimension. There he engaged into verbal fight with Mestema eventually accepting his game (though it is not he has any other choice). Puff (by which I am referring to more of poor animation and effects) and he is teleported to his second task. Now he is in cave where he meets the caretaker of the dead. Dead people here look more like retarded horned orcs (a reason more why you should try to stay alive as long as possible). Anyway, Paul easily finishes with this challenge with a help of more cheesy stop motion, animation and laser beams. Ok back to Mestema.

This is who awaits you when you dieThis is who awaits you when you die

Time for intermission after second round, Location: Mestema’s dimension. Also it is first time where we have displayed powers of both technology and magic in one scene. To cut the story short below you can enjoy this masterpiece of animation:

After a short discussion with Mestema about musical tastes Paul gets puffed to his third challenge. Now he finds himself at performance of death metal band named Wasp. They also got Gwen tied up on a stage and, like any other metal band, they want to sacrifice her during their performance. Ha what a showmen they are! Cannibal Corpse eat yourself! Of course, Paul doesn’t like the idea of his girlfriend being butchered in public so he disintegrates them using a high frequency sound (!?).

This is how you can fight vs death metal musicThis is how you can fight vs death metal music

The 4th challenge takes place in some sort of vex museum. Every criminal in the world is there. Genghis Khan, Jack the Ripper, werewolf, Einstein… It starts snowing in that room and, like you could guess, every figure comes to life. Logically, Gwen has been taken by Jack the Ripper (no surprise there – she is dressed like a slut). Paul had some problems fighting with Genghis Khan but he slipped away and destroyed entire gang by throwing a crystal Albert Einstein held in hand. Makes sense, since old Albert is clearly a criminal mastermind.

Not fair! They didn't have electro shocks back in Genghis Khan daysNot fair! They didn’t have electro shocks back in Genghis Khan days

After this Mestema’s belief in victory got shaken a bit. So he offers Paul a freedom and piles of gold in exchange for letting Gwen to stay in his dimension. Paul was dumb enough to reject this offer without thinking about it (I would take the gold and walk away). With such self-confidence boost (which came from his own stupidity) Paul had managed to beat the rest of the challenges consisted of escaping the police after being accused of series of murders of women, wrestling a demon and fighting with nomads tribes in Mad Max vehicles on a post apocalyptic warfare. He even managed to beat Mestema in 1vs1 fight by throwing him to volcano despite the fact that the Prince of Darkness is much larger than him and possesses dark powers. Paul and Gwen get teleported back to their own dimension just in time for their wedding so we get a happy end worth every judging.

And for all you nerds out there these are a kind a chicks you are entitled onAnd for all you nerds out there  these are a kind of chicks you are entitled on

Conclusion: Yup, nothing can stand in a way of technological progress. Not even a demonic wizard with strange and mysterious powers. That would be a message this movie sends to it’s viewers. Plot is so imaginative that it took 7 directors and even more writers to build it. That’s probably the reason why it gets incoherent from time to time. On account of acting I can’t be too harsh since we were actually able to see occasional decent acting. Unlike the costumes though. Those probably were stolen from some kid’s Halloween house party and from other movie sets. If you love excessive doses of 1980s cheese then this is the movie for you because that’s what will you get while watching this. 70 minutes of cheap, cheesy fun, bad special effects and poor attempts of stop-motion. Just don’t expect any Dungeons & Dragons involving here.

Society (1989)

Posted: 12/11/2015 in Trash movies
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
2

We are all aware of huge gap between upper and lower class in all spheres of human society. And anyone, who has at least a peanut sized brain, understands that things will never change no matter what we do. Still, there are numerous movies trying to display this obvious injustice, and most of them are pretty good. But when Brian Yuzna tries to do the same it ends up as shocking, disturbing surreal movie rich with slimy incest and disgusting transformation of snobs and their inbreeds.

plavusa

The plot revolves around Billy Warlock (played by Bill Whitney) not understanding his rich, uptight family. They mix with other upper class members, while Billy is more down to earth (but still, his girlfriend is also a member of upper class). He doesn’t seem to fit in with their lifestyle or with anything they do. So he feels like a misfit; nothing unusual for a depressive American teenager. Especially in Billy’s case since he was adopted. And when an acquaintance, his sister’s ex-boyfriend David Blanchard (played by Tim Bartell), plays him a recording of the sister’s debutante party (in which welcoming to society followed by Jenny’s (played by Patrice Jennings) fornicating with mom and dad can be heard), Billy begins to suspect something strange is happening around him. Of course, he can’t prove anything. Oh why no one does believe deranged teenager about conspiracy? Anyway, Billy decides to go to family friend psychiatrist Dr Cleveland (played by Ben Slack) and asks for help. He hands him over incriminating tape, which mysteriously changed it’s content the very next day. Billy was about to drop everything. It never happened, because after David dies in a car accident he decides to investigate his family and find a scary truth. Also giving Bill something to think about in the “my family is a highly organized collection of freaks” department was when he spotted her back boobies through a blurry shower door.

 

Bill attends a party hosted by his classmate Ferguson (played by Ben Meyerson), who confirms him that the first audio tape was the real one. And what Bill did with that info? Nothing! He picks up Clarissa (played by Devin DeVasquez), one of the sluts on the party,  and went her home to heat her oven. There he notice something is wrong with her body as well. Ah poor guy. It is hard today to find a girl with every of her limbs and body parts placed correctly.

 

The next day, after returning home and finding his parents and sister all dressed in lingerie (family coat of arms), Bill goes to Blanchard’s funeral. There he and his friend Milo (played by Evan Richards)  discover that Blanchard’s corpse is not quite real. But he is not alone in conspiracy. His friend Martin (played by Brian Bremer) approaches and says he must speak with him. They both agree to a secret meeting. On the meeting place Bill discovers Petrie with his throat slit from ear to ear. Oh well, it seems that this bird won’t sing. Or it will? Because the next day at school, Petrie shows up, alive and well. When Bill arrives at home, he confronts his family again (now dressed up regularly), but with Dr. Cleveland’s help, they drug Bill. Bill awakens in a hospital bed and thinks he hears Blanchard crying out. Or it is just his conscience? Nah he doesn’t have any problems with that. He leaves the hospital and finds his Jeep waiting for him. Milo tries to warn him, but he drives back to his house. Damn that was bad decision.

buttheadA hypocrite

And now the great finale! Back home again, Bill finds a large, formal party. There he finds out that his family and their high-society friends are a completely different species than him (well duh). Blanchard is there as well. So the party can get finally started. The wealthy party guests strip to their underwear and begin literally feed on the poor (just like in real life), physically deforming and melding with each other as they suck the nutrients out of Blanchard’s body. Their intention is to do to the same to Bill. Ferguson has obviously taken Bill’s insult (he called him a butthead earlier in the movie) to the heart since he turned himself upside down! Yup, Ferguson actually pulls his head out through his buttocks and says  “Well son, I guess you’re right, I am a butthead. Ha ha ha ha ha”. Billy decides that he had enough of this and, with Milo and Clarissa’s help—who is also of this alternate species, but has fallen in love with Bill, SOMEHOW manages to escape (no one actually have tried to stop him). Since this scene is too much disturbing for me to describe, here you can watch the entire party:

Conclusion: This movie would have been even watchable if there wasn’t last scene (which lasts about 20 minutes). Also, acting is bad and plot is a cliche, even for a 1989. I mean, there are plenty of movies judging class struggle. Of course, no one else would accept doing such sick special effects than Screaming Mad George. He even seems to be proud of his work on butthead. As for Brian Yuzna, this was his debut, and it was pretty decent despite everything (for a debut of course). And as we all know his career went rapidly downhill from there. In short, in spite of opinions of shallow majority, I dare to say that king is naked and declare this film to be a complete garbage, from this day on to eternity. Therefore, my final verdict is: