Posts Tagged ‘(Charles Bronson)’

Bad hairdos, dire fashion sense and a pumping soundtrack from John Farnham, can only mean one thing; We are back to 80’s! (although WM crew never left 80’s). Time for some revenge – girl style (and I am not referring to any of “GF revenge” porn movies). We at Worsemovies are well aware of what our audience is aspiring for. So without further ado, in cooperation with Danny Steinmann (Friday the 13th: A New  Beginning), for all of you sickos out there who, for some reason, wanted to see Charles Bronson in a dress, we present you – Savage Streets.

 

Following her appearance in The Exorcist and its less than popular sequel, Linda Blair made a career out of exploitation flicks of which this is perhaps the most famously trashy. She plays Brenda, a typical LA girl who leads all-girl gang “The Satins”. Like any other ordinary girls they like to hang around the L.A streets while sipping fruity alcohol and gossiping. They have a run-in with a gang of thugs called “The Scars” who were hitting on them but unsuccessfully. Girls steal and trash their car, and that’s when entire problem begins.

Women driving a car! Run for your lives!

Gang swings by to school in order to get revenge on girls for stealing their car. They try to bully some guys but they end up kicked out of the school by Principal Underwood (played by John Vernon). So they have to lie in wait for another opportunity. It didn’t took too long. They waited for gym room to be emptied so they could drag Brenda’s deaf mute sister Heather (played by Linnea Quigley) to the shower room and gangbang her there. And since Heather can’t speak she couldn’t tell her sister who was behind that. Nor Brenda had any suspects despite the fact it was so obvious considering her recent activities. That evening she went to the bar to party and drink with her friends like nothing had happened. But the gang is there as well. Can you guess whats happening next? That’s right! A bar fight!

 

liAs if one fight wasn’t enough for her Brenda ran into another fight, this time with her slutty classmate over some guy. Nice chick fight, when we can see some nice tits. As a result of that Brenda gets  suspended from the school, after unsuccessfull Principal’s attempt to hit on her. This scholl knows no bounds, I can give them that.

 

Still, not everything is so black and sad. One of her friends Francine (played by Lisa Freeman; known for Back to the Future) is getting married soon. So, while Brenda and the rest of her girl gang are visiting Heather in the hospital, Francine and Maria (played by Luisa Leschin) are going to pick up Francine’s wedding dress. On her way home Francine gets intercepted by gang. They chase her with the car. I thought they just wanted to scare her. But for reasons only known to him, the leader of the gang Jake (played by Robert Dryer) threw Francine off a bridge with words “Here comes the bride”. In the middle of the day with full traffic going on behind him! And no one bothered to stop! Vince (played by Johnny Venocur) freaked out and ran away to the hospital, where he found Heather lying in deep sleep. He tries to apologize her, admitting everything. Right in that moment, Brenda came along and heard entire confession. Now she freaks out at Vince and he runs away. Brenda finally got some clue.

Later that evening she busts into Vince’s house with knife. There he tells her about Francine. Apparently, Brenda didn’t find out that her best friend is that for entire day! I guess she was too blinded by her anger and revenge even to check out how preparations for her friend’s wedding are going. Anyway, she spared Vince and starts preparing for taking revenge girl style (and no again, it is not what you think it is). Dressed like a commando and armed with a crossbow which she bought at the local store (just like that) she went to a warehouse where the gang is gathering and hunted down Fargo (played by Sal Landi) and Red (played by Scott Mayer). Meanwhile, Vince tries to flee town but Jake runs him down with his car. Wanting to celebrate another successful hit, Jake comes to a warehouse where he finds his dead buddies. Brenda was waiting there as well. After some fight she manages to kill Jake by setting him off on fire (or at least a doll that should represent a living man). Police arrives on the spot and not a single question was raised so Brenda is off the hook. Now she has enough time to attend her best friend’s funeral. She wasn’t interested that much in her wedding tho. And that’s how this movie ends

 

Conclusion: This is a perfect 80s exploitation film for all those who are cult film fans, it certainly won’t win any awards but good-golly this is a ham covered, rock n’ roll, crossbow firing good time. It tries to operate within just about every single exploitation subgenre that was active at the time simultaneously. And of course, there’s an amazing amount of tit shots in this one, even by the standards of the 80s. And apparently it’s a film that isn’t bothered about the fact that it’s set in a high school. “Savage Streets” isn’t even approaching a good film in any way and Blair’s performance could be one of the worst ever by a former Oscar nominee. But it is ridiculously entertaining at times and any film that features the line, “I wouldn’t fuck you if you had the last dick on Earth!” is one that I can’t help but defend.

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Robert “Bronzi” Kovacs is a Spanish musician and actor with an uncanny resemblance to the late, great Charles Bronson (strangely, there’s more that a couple cases of Bronsonism here in Europe).

Something like this…

He already made his first steps in fulfilling his  destiny as a Bronson double for the Western themed commercial for LIDL, European mega- supermarket chain.

He followed that up a Western/ Horror production called From Hell to the Wild West, and  now to top it all off, he takes a lead role in a awesome looking Death Wish tribute called the Death Kiss, coming to the screens later this year. You can enjoy the first trailer right here:

Just look at him go!

 

 

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WM alumni (Delta Force, Forced Vengeance, Octagon, Code of Silence, Invasion USA, Slaughter in San Francisco) , Martial Arts legend, Action star and walking meme generator Chuck Norris is finally gearing up to get back on the horse, the metaphorical action horse that is (I’m sure he’s got a real somewhere too). After the supposed retirement from acting in the 2005 we had a chance to see him cameo in the ultimate 80’s throwback series The Expendables and he was even kind enough to share a Chuck Norris fact or two.

Chuck Norris telling a Chuck Norris fact- PRICELESS!

After the movie came out in 2012 there was a lot of buzz about a potential full on return as a lead actor (and we’re all old enough to feel nostalgic about Chuck’s legendary Cannon days right about now). Unfortunately nothing materialized right away because of a family emergency (health scare of his wife Gina). Now with those problems behind him, Chuck is getting back into acting big time, starting with a series of highly entertaining commercials he did for Brazilian Internet provider.

You get 1 Giga of downloads, Chuck Norris included!

His comeback vehicle is officially named The Finisher (by all accounts a resurrection of a previous project called less impressively- The Novice) and sees Norris as a retired hitman brought back to the game for one final time (sounds almost like something Charles Bronson would play- another man not afraid to kick ass and take names even in his older days).  Filming is  gearing up to begin this March in Savannah, Georgia and we couldn’t be more thrilled. Enjoy Norris’s interview in which he briefly speaks about the movie and as soon as we have some more info we’ll be sure to share!

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Around the late 70s Cannon Inc. had hit serious financial difficulties, and naturally previous owners sold Cannon as fast as they could. Cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus bought Canon for whooping price of 500,000 dollars! The two cousins than  forged a “magnificent” business model which consisted of buying bottom-barrel scripts that lingered (seemingly for all times) in development hell and putting them rapidly into  production. Of course they paired an (at best) third rate script with a second rate director, ridiculous budget and a STAR, by that I mean: ( INCREDIBLY old) Charles Bronson/ Chuck Norris and/or Michael Dudikoff.

At certain point (at the time of filming of Masters of the Universe with Dolph Lundgren) they had about 84 movies in development- to put things into perspective the most films any other studio had in production was Warner Brothers and they had 6 movies!!!  They also held the rights for Spiderman movie until the late 80s but the movie was never produced (and we can all agree it was for the best).

 By the beginning of the 90s their “perfect” system FINALLY came crashing down and they called it a day with a Albert Pyun’s Cyborg (staring young Van Damme) made on the sets of failed Masters sequel. MGM of course came to offer an assistance and a merger of studios ensued but MGM couldn’t really help themselves let alone anybody else.

*In late 2011 it was revealed that Australian director Mark Hartley is working on a documentary about Cannon Films called Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films.”