Worsemovies

In one of the most intriguing AIP (Action Internacional Pictures), Prior produced film The Final Sanction after heavy nuclear exchange Russia and USA decide to settle their differences the old fashion way, by locking two soldiers (each representing their respective country) in mortal combat. Fun and interesting premise that does shine despite many bloopers and shoestring budget.

The movie starts as expected with a mish- mash of military archive footage (and one of the NASA’s rocket launching for a good measure) and we are see that the Cold War has gotten a lot hotter.Then camera pulls back to the meeting in some kind of church in  Geneva. After reaching an agreement we are transported to prison facilities where the braves and boldest of the Americans fights with a big fat man… and gets beaten for the most part before jumping on his back in effort to perform some gay- ass version of Rear Naked Choke. Fight ends soon enough via some cowboy style uppercuts and finishing headbutt. The victor is of course Ted Prior himself ( Deadly Prey, Aerobicide).

He doesn’t get to enjoy his victory much as the guards grab him and take him to get “procedure” done. He panics but it’s already too late. We learn that he is incarcerated for the murder of his commanding officer and his fellow soldiers. In the meantime we have the ultimate Russian war machine (nope, not Dolph Lundgren even better) Sergei played by the almighty Chin himself- Robert Z’Dar getting ready for his crucial mission. He is practicing by throwing mini- spades on targets, I’m not sure what’s the point of this but it’s hilarious! Later he ends up in some kind of Virtual Reality on maximum level so they can test his dedication to Mother Russia to the limit. And yes, he also kills his psychologist because his lieutenant said so.

Spade Power!

On the other side PrIor aka Sargent Botanick wakes up to find a woman speaking in southern twang right in his head- yes, the procedure implanted the chip right in his brain so he can be reagulary updated with information and kept in check. He nearly goes insane but after they bring  him  some cheeseburgers and fries agrees to fight to his county. He also gets a presidential pardon but that’s not important as the food. His old “friend” Ross shows up to threaten him, incredibly jealous because he didn’t get the job. They have an extremely homosexual war of words in which Botanick replies to his “fuck you” with “anytime”. Ah, the soldiers these days… Anyway he starts getting into the groove realy fast and starts calling his commander officer dragonlady (it makes no sense really to call a southern lady that way but it’s funny so I support it).

Soldiers get ready, Rambo style with loud synthesizer music in the background and we’re set to go. The conflict of the two worlds most powerful nations  will be solved in… battle arena “Zulu” in Virginia- I expected something more neutral but what the hell! Botanick starts making his old school traps in the forest (see Deadly Prey) but falls prey to the Russian’s surprise attack- combination of mini- spade and then machine gun with explosive rounds. He somehow survives the ordeal but looses Sergei’s signal (it seems Russians have a few more aces up their sleeves. Dragonlady tries desperately to locate the Russian but finds she’s already too late. Sergei jumps from the tree and for some reason drops his gun to finish Prior with a spade with fantastically passionate line “This is konec” (soon to become my favorite one- liner). But Botanick’s traps finally prove handy and an explosion saves his life.

Botanic spends the night in the forsaken facility all the while hitting on the dragonlady and also reveals to her that he was framed for the murders. Tender scene is stopped just in time, with gunfire. They keep shooting and chasing one another some time and Russian finally gets close somewhere around the morning, close like in- with a mini- spade of course! I’m thinking of getting one after watching this movie. Prior again defies certain death but ends up wounded and unable to run. He still finds a time to rig the whole place (and even put a little smiley face on the floor)  but Russian comes back like a goddamn soviet terminator.

Russian general tries to get in touch with Sergei to update his orders but he decides to ignore him, irritated by being almost burn alive. Next thing you know Botanic is startled from the back by Ross, the same dude that was so jealous of him. Turns out he was jealous of him for a mighty long time ’cause he set him up and got him thrown in the jail 5 years ago. And just when his death seems inevitable Sergei puts a spade through his back. So it’s finally time, Botanic and Sergei one on one without weapons each one refusing to block the other’s punches. Russian seems to be made  of stone (especialy he’s balls) but American doesn’t know the meaning of the word GIVE UP. After beating the hell out of each other they make peace.

...and then it turns out that they would both die no mater what courtesy of a back deal made by their respective governments. They escape final explosion of the movie and then find their respective generals together reaching an agreement. They expose them, arrest them and then finally Prior gets a date with the dragonlady and Sergei gets diplomatic immunity. They ask him what kind of women he likes, so they can arrange a double date and  Z’Dar joyfully proclaims “SERGEI LIKE ALL GIRLS” and credits roll.

…and they all lived happily ever after!

Verdict: Even though I would call Aerobicide AIP’s  most successful film (creatively as well as financially) it was mostly a horror flick and from their long list of hard core
(and more often than not ridiculous) action movies this one sticks out like a sore thumb ( but in the good way)! Definitely worth a watch!