Posts Tagged ‘Henry Silva’

Other people fight bad guys with their guns, their muscles or their martial arts, Gary Busey? Gary Busey completely destroys them with his pure insanity!

Movie starts like any 80es cop thriller with a gentle sounds of saxophone fallowed by some menacing orchestral music. Token black partner gets upsett by other cop and we find out two important things, he’s partner is Busey, called  Frank McBain (now that’s where you find that name Matt Groening, I got you there!) and he is (you guessed it) Bulletproof. How? We don’t know!

Anyway they ran into big drug operation lead by Montotoya aka legendary Danny Trejo. He stops them by… being insane of course! He shouts at them from an overhead rafter without even thinking of pulling the gun. He also uses the fascinating catchphrase “BUTTHORN” They get scared for a moment and then attempt to blow him up till kingdom come. That doesn’t work for some reason, and when he finally reaches for the gun he start dropping them like stool pigeons. He then procides to chase after the remaining criminals desperately trying to escape in the ices cream truck. It all end with a big explosion and imminent death, and soon enough another saxophone melody to signify the job well done.

Next thing you know Busey is heroicly pulling a bullet out of his shoulder in his bathroom while a naked lady with a french accent waits for him in his bathtub. Yes, he’s that cool.In the meantime military is conducting a top secret operation that seemingly consists of being captured (with a freakin’ super- tank called Thunderblast) by revolutionaries in Mexico. Now, these are not your typicall Mexican revolutionaries, don’t get me wrong- they are a motley crew of Mexican Freedom Fighters, Russian Comunnists and Arab Therorist proving that we can all get along (as long as we hate America with all our hearts)!

After sex with french lady Busey is haunted by memories of killing his partner in friendly fire on the mission and breaking up with a love of his life soon afterwords.Strangely the love of his lifei s the same blond chick that just ended up being captured in Mexico.

I think Collonel likes her too!

He is woken from his flashback ridden dreams by FBI agent Blackburn wanting to recruet him once again, ’cause they need him- now more than ever. He initialy refuses their offer but after being irritated by one of the agents (and beating up the said agent) he decides to head out to Mexico and save Devon and the General.We get a few more flashback, most notably of Busey playing the sax on the beach while Devon walks beside him and the action starts!

OMG, it’s Saxman all over again!

McBain jumps out of the plane like it was nothing, beats up a few goons and heads towards the base in their jeep.Unfortunately his infiltration skills seem a bit rusty ’cause he is captured in about 5 minutes time. Then we have a wonderful interplay between Col. Kartiff and McBain in which of course McBain calls him butthorn and treatens to blow everyone up. Seeing that crazy man’s glow in Busey’s eyes I tend to believe he could to just that. He still ends up crusified on a giant wheel and it seems that he is Bulletproof no more… but fear not, they let Devon talk to him and she uses the opportunity to throw some dynamite sticks and after explosion Busey rolls to safety still strapped to a giant wheel!!! Who comes out with this stuff? Really?

“You spin me right round, baby right round like a record baby!”

Busey then oranises an ambush and after cheerfully proclaiming “Buenos Dias” stert killing everyone in the close vicinity and finaly frees his lady. She is of course greatful but as a bloodthirsty soldier that she is- she also felt the need to do get some killing done before the make out. Hell, she even hit McBain a few times before they inevitably kissed.
After that they finally enter the fabled tank and head out to stop the evil General now jouined by even more evil Russian General (William Smith after being an evil biker in the 70es exchanged that mantle for that of evil Soviet Commander). Terrorist decide to burn alive the old church still containing an American general (that came with Devon) and bunch of civilians but super- tank approaches and a complete mayhem ensues. Evil Russian menages to snap the girl at the end but McBain know no fear and after realizing he is the same dude that made him shoot his own partner 5 years ago he executes him, I believe by a shot straight throw the red comunist star on his cap! I think he finaly got rid of the communist problem for USA that day (even thou generally speaking that problem was always more fabrication than a fact).


“BANG, you’re dead!”

Verdict: it’s more than 80es action film, it’s an 80es film on steroids and even for something like that script is so godawful that I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they had no script ready and had to improvise the whole damn thing. Busey is kinda terrible at being an action hero (he was just born to be a crazed villain) but he’s performance is still fun enough that it keeps you interested- opposite of everything else in this movie! Anyway it’s a crazy film, at some points extremely fun one, but to tell you the truth I still like the Simpsons version better.

There are many people who claim that this is, by far, the best Chuck Norris movie. I have to admit that I am having problems imagining that a  Chuck Norris movie can be considered  as anything else but a complete disaster. But again, what do I know? Trailer for Code of Silence even shows our hero with gun!!! This could be interesting! So let’s check it.

Graveyard in broad daylight… Two men are there. One is sitting (Cragie), the other one is standing (Nick). Cragie (played by Ralph Foody) is drinking and suggesting Nick (played by Joseph Guzaldo) to piss on someone’s grave. Obviously, they are vandals. WRONG!!! They are undercover agents (?!) On the other side of block, their leader Eddie Cusack (Chuck Norris) is waiting in the trash truck with his fellow agent. They plan to interrupt drug shipment. After busting in drug lair, shooting and some ridiculous rooftops chasing, the dealers have been dealt with (with some casualties on both sides, including hilarious mullet dude). Also, one of the officers got shot and informer is dead. But that’s not everything. While scouting nearby building Cragie managed to shoot and kill 10 years old kid. Of course, after seeing what he did, Cragie planted gun in cold hand of already dead kid. Not a fully successful mission, don’t you think? And I forgot to mention that some bandits had managed to escape.

Shortly after the big action, two arrested gang members are questioned in police station about whereabouts of their escaped comrades. Interesting thing is that interrogators are using new method – 1 good cop and 2 bad cops. But villains remained silent, even after being intimidated with name of Luis Comacho (Henry Silva) who appears to be the big bad boss of crime. Sounds familiar? In the same time Cragie has been suspended until hearing for killing kid and his partner is transferred to work with Chuck Norris. Sounds like a promotion to me.

Pedja - fazon


Meanwhile, there is someone’s birthday in the house on the other side of town. We see a woman who has a face similar to the one you get when you draw eyes and mouth on balloon. She is carrying a cake. Her name is Diana (played by Molly Hagan) and she is the daughter of Tony Luna (Mike Genovese), another detective working on the case. And the cake is meant for her mother Molly. But, Tony gets a phone call and announces that he needs to depart. This has been followed by phrases like “Your job is more important to you than your own family” and similar women crap. If you guessed that balloon-face girl had said all of this than you guessed it right. Tony is afraid that if Victor Comacho get’s out they are all will be dead.

After seeing his comrades dead Luis Comacho gets pissed off and threatens Eddie with the Columbian neck-tie. Chuck Norris doesn’t seem to be touched by this token of gratitude, while being surrounded by Luis’ gang members, including Comacho’s right hand who’s look resembles to Serbia’s politician Vuk Draskovic.
Next scene takes us to introduction of new member of police force. No, it is not some badass, experienced detective. It is a robot cop named Prowler, the ultimate weapon in fight against crime, at least judging to words of it’s representative, who is played by no one else than John Mahoney.

Chuck Norris using a weapon less deadly than himself

Chuck Norris using a weapon less deadly than himself

Now pardon me for absence of spoilers which can be found in most of my reviews, but writing about this movie is such an agony so I’ll do a fast forward. Next one hour is consisted of artists using drugs in middle of exhibition, Eddie Cusack being known as “Stainless Steel” on the street, villain being killed by the boat after the most ridiculous chasing and even more ridiculous jumping into river (you got to see this), kidnapping of balloon-face girl who’s face gets larger and larger from scene to scene, Chuck Norris being hit in the head with snooker ball and then beaten up (that can happen too), and Chuck Norris’ testimony against Cragie which brakes CODE OF SILENCE among cops…

Fully pumped up baloon face

Fully pumped up balloon face

Also, I have to mention his driving skills that caused the death of one high rated gang member, uncle Felix (don’t know his exact roll here due to severe memory damages caused by watching this movie).

This man is going to die

This man is going to die!!!

All of above mentioned nonsense has been just introduction in the final stand off – Eddie Cusack vs Luis Comacho. Greatly outnumbered by Luis’ forces, Eddie was cornered and certain death was approaching him with the light speed. But he got a backup!!! It was Prowler, who swiped the entire gang, including Luis,  with it’s rocket missiles and thus saving Eddie’s bad acting ass.

Conclusion: Despite many people claims that this is the best Chuck Norris movie, WE claim that this is even worse than The Octagon and Invasion USA, which makes this the worst Chuck Norris movie (in pretty strong competition) and one of the worst movies of all times (even worse than Godfather 3)!!!

For all those who had the nerves to read this review through end, here is the treat I had promised you earlier:

Bird crap falling off the sky!