Posts Tagged ‘Karate’

Though Cinthia Rothrock is most recognizable because of her classic Hong Kong movies (often with Richard Norton) and later a solid string of American Martial Arts B- movies (lots of those in the 90’s) she actually had roles in more than a couple of Indonesian flicks in the beginning of her storied career and as we all know- there’s not quite like an Indonesian action movie!

Now, one of the main selling points of this movie (for us) is without a doubt Peter O’Brian (The Intruder/ Rambu, The Stabilizer). To the best of my knowledge this is a man who who was offered a part in an Indonesian action movie (before that was hip) due to his uncanny resemblance to one Sylvester Stallone (the fact that one of his movies is called Rambu is a dead giveaway) and he said “Hell yeah!” and never looked back .To top it off in  this movie he plays a deranged villain Bolt and his foil is non other than “Lady Dragon” herself Cintia Rotrock and with that combo like that- you can do no wrong.

 

Bolt (O’Brian) is brutally torturing a man (at one point his goon, an  Asian Mr. T taking off some of his fingers with a meat chopper)  and at  the same time showing off his impressive physique. The poor man holds on before they threaten his young daughter and then he finally breaks down and gives Bolt the information. Information about what you ask? You’ll find out in a just a second.

Nancy Bolan (Cyntia Rothrock) is a head of security at HTI and she’s arriving to Indonesia as a courier carrying a mysterious silver briefcase. Not even ten seconds after she arrives at the station in a typical Asian fashion she and her colleague get attacked by a bunch of goons  and after a hell of a fight they manage to take off in a speed boat. It seemed that they are finally safe but situation evolves into a gunfight at see and after defeating the goons and things finally look safe Rothrock gets drugged and passes out.

Now, the men holding her turn out to be working for her-  ex- boyfriend! It turns out the said boyfriend faked his own death and waited three years all in effort to finally catch the Bolt– man he has a bone to pick with this dude! Rothrock on the other hand doesn’t seem to mind and the two of them continue where the left off with their romance.

The day after on the company meeting we finally learn the whole story. Rothrock is using three couriers (including herself) to carry a super- computer to the state, two being distraction and one being the actual real deal .Ironically no one knows where the real one is (at least as far as I can see). We also learn why is the criminal targeting them called Bolt, it’s because he is “The Terrorist Who Strikes Like Lightning“ (I just love that).

And then we have the fantastically ridiculous “Mission Impossible” scene where the black dude from the meeting takes off the mask- and it was Bolt all along! Considering they didn’t really have a budget for anything resembling a mask you see the scene from the back of the car.

Slika?

So, here we go again, everyone is waiting for the briefcase to come via boat but Nancy  secretly changed the plan and the real briefcase is actually coming to the airport via helicopter. Actually some blond Brad Pitt looking dude is carrying it. Unfortunately, Bolt is already onto them. He intercepts the car of her boss and goes straight to the airport where shootout ensues and the blond boy gets it.  The shootout is one of my favorite things in this movie because it literally makes no sense, most of the actors seem like they never seen firearm before and everything ends up exploding for one reason or another.

Now,  in the middle of all the craziness she’s going out shopping with her friend and her daughter. Unfortunately ‘s man tried to kidnap her and end up taking a little girl (her friend’s daughter). She viciously goes after them (on a motorbike) and after some nearly impossible stunts she stops them end… they freakin’ kill the child- in slow motion! Man, nothing is sacred for the Indonesian filmmakers!

Confusingly after the traumatic death of a child Nancy goes on a romantic evening with her boyfriend and they have a strange sex scene  with spliced footage of them kissing on the docks (these people are not sure how love scenes are supposed to work). After she wakes up tomorrow morning she immediately gets kidnapped and  ends up being tortured by Bolt and his Asian Mr. T henchmen.

HTI arranges a trade, briefcase (the final one) for Nancy but of course her boyfriend crashes a meeting (literally- via jeep trough the wall) and a complete Martial Art/ Gun- Fu madness ensues with briefcase changing hands like a hot potato.

Bolt gets completely unhinged and starts destroying everything on his way and his showdown with Rothrock is truly of EPIC proportions. Unfortunately, it gets interrupted by her boyfriend (who seems to have made a habit of that) but then- he wants briefcase all for himself! She goes after him and the fight ends up in the helicopter- she conveniently strangles him with his own tie (you should take a lesson and never get in a fight in a business suit).

Verdict: Now,  this movie has completely impossible fight scenes, bizarre editing choices and people who for the life of them can’t hold a gun properly. Production values are severely lacking (you’re sure to start laughing at some of the chases, explosions and gun battles) and that lack especially shows in the sound department (to the best of my knowledge Rothrock is the only actor that isn’t dubbed in the whole movie) but I challenge you to watch Angel of Fury and not have fun.

 

Complete Killcount by Cinthia, number 11 is especially impressive!

Trivia: We also have a bit of news to cap things off. Fantastic Mr. O’Brian is supposedly eying  his comeback to the film industry after lengthy time away he spent teaching English and being a life coach. He’s been offered a role of  a British General Cameron, commander at the Battle of Gate Pa–  whenever this comes true or not one thing is for sure- everything this man does will be on out “must see” list!

Goldsen4          Just look at this face!

 

 

 

 

 

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SamuraiCop2

Things are obviously moving along quite nicely as Matt Hannon and Mindy Robinson go trough the rigorous fight training. Matt’s Samurai chops look better than ever and he even found the time to hang out with the UFC Hall of Famer and Expendables franchise alumni Randy “The Natural” Couture.

 

Matt and RandyThe Ultimate Friends!

And if this is not enough for you, here’s Matt’s personal update on the movie, and we can expect shooting to start very, very soon (December 14 to be precise).

Now, we all know that Mr. Seagal made his fair share of bad movies (you could easily fit his complete filmography between 2002- 2010 in that category and you wouldn’t be wrong) but this isn’t about that. It’s about something far more fascinating. You see, by the middle of the 90es Seagal contract with Warner Bros. was almost up and someone in the TekMagic company decided that the time was right for him to cross over to the new kind of media- video games!!!

Seagal gameOriginal preview of the game

Now, ludicrous as it sound, those were the days of action movies and fighting games so it kinda makes sense… a little bit. And then it all goes haywire! Caption was done by Karateka and teacher of women’s self- defense unable to replicate even one Seagal trademark move (Seagal is mostly known as a practitioner of Aikido, and has a 7 Dan black belt in the art). In fact Greg Goldsholl managed to replicate only Seagal’s trademark pony-tale and that’s where all likeness stops.That combined with the lousy controls, sub- par graphics (even for the 90es), and only 2 kinds of enemies (poor scientists and almost as poor Nanotech mercenaries).

Look at him go!

Seagal license did bring a lot of interest but game failed to meet it’s initial ’94 release date, was later moved  to PlayStation and N64 and renamed to even more Seagal-like title of Deadly Honor but again failed to come out in ’99  and was soon after officially pronounced dead. Here you have the opportunity to seem what could have been. First the official plot…

Steven Seagal is a legendary runner, but commanders dislike his loose style and contempt for rules. His partner Jack Fremen, was killed on their last mission. There is no evidence to support it, but many wonder if he might still be alive had Seagal followed orders.

Trish Morgan, another veteran runner, has been assigned his new partner. She’s tough as any but has the attitude that commanders look for.

Now, the rebels will attempt the ultimate mission: an assault on Nanotech’s main campus. High command nervous about Seagal. They know he’s out to avenge Freman’s death. But he’s the best chance they have.

He’s the only choice…

(If you still don’t get it- Seagal and SF don’t mix)

…and when you’re done you can enjoy some of the surviving gameplay footage. And don’t forget to enjoy Seagal’s hillarious screams of death- you sure won’t find that in any other medium he tackled!

PS There’s also an urban legend (at least partially true) that at some point Goldsholl run into Seagal on a Martial Arts seminar and after bragging that he played him in the video game he got his arm twisted and cried like a baby. So, I guess Seagal wasn’t a fan.

There are many people who claim that this is, by far, the best Chuck Norris movie. I have to admit that I am having problems imagining that a  Chuck Norris movie can be considered  as anything else but a complete disaster. But again, what do I know? Trailer for Code of Silence even shows our hero with gun!!! This could be interesting! So let’s check it.

Graveyard in broad daylight… Two men are there. One is sitting (Cragie), the other one is standing (Nick). Cragie (played by Ralph Foody) is drinking and suggesting Nick (played by Joseph Guzaldo) to piss on someone’s grave. Obviously, they are vandals. WRONG!!! They are undercover agents (?!) On the other side of block, their leader Eddie Cusack (Chuck Norris) is waiting in the trash truck with his fellow agent. They plan to interrupt drug shipment. After busting in drug lair, shooting and some ridiculous rooftops chasing, the dealers have been dealt with (with some casualties on both sides, including hilarious mullet dude). Also, one of the officers got shot and informer is dead. But that’s not everything. While scouting nearby building Cragie managed to shoot and kill 10 years old kid. Of course, after seeing what he did, Cragie planted gun in cold hand of already dead kid. Not a fully successful mission, don’t you think? And I forgot to mention that some bandits had managed to escape.

Shortly after the big action, two arrested gang members are questioned in police station about whereabouts of their escaped comrades. Interesting thing is that interrogators are using new method – 1 good cop and 2 bad cops. But villains remained silent, even after being intimidated with name of Luis Comacho (Henry Silva) who appears to be the big bad boss of crime. Sounds familiar? In the same time Cragie has been suspended until hearing for killing kid and his partner is transferred to work with Chuck Norris. Sounds like a promotion to me.

Pedja - fazon

THIS…IS…NOT…FUNNY!!!

Meanwhile, there is someone’s birthday in the house on the other side of town. We see a woman who has a face similar to the one you get when you draw eyes and mouth on balloon. She is carrying a cake. Her name is Diana (played by Molly Hagan) and she is the daughter of Tony Luna (Mike Genovese), another detective working on the case. And the cake is meant for her mother Molly. But, Tony gets a phone call and announces that he needs to depart. This has been followed by phrases like “Your job is more important to you than your own family” and similar women crap. If you guessed that balloon-face girl had said all of this than you guessed it right. Tony is afraid that if Victor Comacho get’s out they are all will be dead.

After seeing his comrades dead Luis Comacho gets pissed off and threatens Eddie with the Columbian neck-tie. Chuck Norris doesn’t seem to be touched by this token of gratitude, while being surrounded by Luis’ gang members, including Comacho’s right hand who’s look resembles to Serbia’s politician Vuk Draskovic.
Next scene takes us to introduction of new member of police force. No, it is not some badass, experienced detective. It is a robot cop named Prowler, the ultimate weapon in fight against crime, at least judging to words of it’s representative, who is played by no one else than John Mahoney.

Chuck Norris using a weapon less deadly than himself

Chuck Norris using a weapon less deadly than himself

Now pardon me for absence of spoilers which can be found in most of my reviews, but writing about this movie is such an agony so I’ll do a fast forward. Next one hour is consisted of artists using drugs in middle of exhibition, Eddie Cusack being known as “Stainless Steel” on the street, villain being killed by the boat after the most ridiculous chasing and even more ridiculous jumping into river (you got to see this), kidnapping of balloon-face girl who’s face gets larger and larger from scene to scene, Chuck Norris being hit in the head with snooker ball and then beaten up (that can happen too), and Chuck Norris’ testimony against Cragie which brakes CODE OF SILENCE among cops…

Fully pumped up baloon face

Fully pumped up balloon face

Also, I have to mention his driving skills that caused the death of one high rated gang member, uncle Felix (don’t know his exact roll here due to severe memory damages caused by watching this movie).

This man is going to die

This man is going to die!!!

All of above mentioned nonsense has been just introduction in the final stand off – Eddie Cusack vs Luis Comacho. Greatly outnumbered by Luis’ forces, Eddie was cornered and certain death was approaching him with the light speed. But he got a backup!!! It was Prowler, who swiped the entire gang, including Luis,  with it’s rocket missiles and thus saving Eddie’s bad acting ass.

Conclusion: Despite many people claims that this is the best Chuck Norris movie, WE claim that this is even worse than The Octagon and Invasion USA, which makes this the worst Chuck Norris movie (in pretty strong competition) and one of the worst movies of all times (even worse than Godfather 3)!!!

For all those who had the nerves to read this review through end, here is the treat I had promised you earlier:

Bird crap falling off the sky!