Archive for the ‘Worse News’ Category

Worse News: ROAD TO HELL goes theatrical?

Posted: 12/09/2013 in Worse News
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I actually like this stylish “Sin City” style poster for a change…

After an unfortunate turn of events that saw Albert Pyun retire from movie making for foreseeable future (making effectively Cyborg Nemesis his last film) effort was made to organize Career Celebration event and provide theatrical release for one of his last directorial efforts Road To Hell. Road to Hell is a bizarre and psychedelic  journey conceived by Pyun and Curnan as a illegal sequel of sorts ,  follow-up to the cult classic Streets of Fire (by Walter Hill) . Film was already making waves (one way or another) on festival circuits for years and now you can personally help Pyun finish his film career with a BANG he rightfully deserves for all the years of “anti- matter “(as he likes to call it) style film making he provided for us.

You can see the new, improved and (of course) R rated Theatrical Trailer for ROAD TO HELL right here…

…and then you can go to Indiegogo and if you are feeling generous today- donate right here!

http://igg.me/at/albertpyun

Worse News: Superman Lives (that never was)!

Posted: 05/09/2013 in Worse News
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Now that’s something that unfortunately never came into fruition, something that we would review the hell out of!  Of course I’m talking about fabulous Tim Burton directed and (at one point) Kevin Smith scripted Superman movie staring none other than Nicolas Cage (can you say Super- freak out?) as titular character, and Sandra Bullock as Lois Lane. With villains like Brainiac, Luthor ( who even merge at some point to became Brainlex or something in that vein) and Doomsday and a ton of European influenced Sci-Fi elements it would have been a super- hero movie unlike any ever produced! Unfortunately it all fell apart in 1997 literally weeks before the shooting began and Superman Lives went straight into the legend.

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Nick freakin’ Cage as Superman, this is just awesome!

That is, until Jon Schnepp (Metalocalypse, Grimm Fairy Tales ) decided to make a documentary about the subject. Crowdfunded through Kickstarter the project was successfully financed this March ( with more than 2100 backers) and now we even have a first official teaser to be happy about. In it Schnepp is the one freaking out- not Cage but we’re sure they’ll fix that issue in the final version.

Tell me you’re not impressed…

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Brainiac’s Skull Ship , pretty neat, ha?

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…and we’re still waiting!

Worse News: Sharknado in Theaters!

Posted: 27/07/2013 in Worse News
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You heard that right, an Asylum produced, SyFy original is going to cinemas! Well, that’s a first.  On the heels of unprecedented success of original Sharknado premiere ( see our review- Sharknado (2013)) two weeks ago on SyFy  (and twitter frenzy that followed) Sharknado is getting a  series of midnight theatrical showings! Regal Cinemas agreed to host midnight shows of Sharknado on August 2 at around 200 theaters across the States including Regal theaters in New York and L.A. Also The Asylum is promising us some new and never before seen footage so it seems we’re getting a Director’s Cut!

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Pretty obvious what internet was doing that night.

Now, that’s not all folks-  SyFy will also air Sharknado again on July 23rd , and they will make the deal sweeter with an all night Shark- themed marathon consisting hits like Sharktopus (with Eric Roberts!), Swamp Shark also even fantastically named Two Headed Shark Attack! Also a follow- up film is definitely in production and you can expect Sharknado Invades New York City on SyFy at some point in 2014.

And this is what ClevverMovies had to say…

If you live in the States here’s the list of cinemas near you where you can catch this masterpiece. Remember, it’s one day only so do your best to be there- trust me, you don’t want to miss the opportunity to see Sharknado on the big screen! http://www.regmovies.com/promotions/sharknado

Worse News: Cyborg Nemesis: Dark Rift teaser trailer!

Posted: 08/06/2013 in Worse News
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We already talked about this one when we reviewed the original Nemesis film waaaaaay back but we finally have some concrete news… and they are not really promising. Or they are really promising if you want it reviewed on this page in the foreseeable future.

Anyway it seems that Albert Pyun failed to bring some of the old “stars” of his two franchises, namely Van Damme and Olivier Grunner.  He also failed to bring ‘roided female MMA star Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos and (I must admit an interesting choice that makes a lot of sense) Van Damme’s daughter Bianca Bree (aka Bianca Van Varenberg aka Bianca Van Damme) . It seems that all the weight is planted firmly on the shoulders of a newcomer and a lead actress a 16 year old Joei Fulco and in the MMA fighters crossover department we’re left with Kim Couture, 3rd rate fighter famous mostly for being an ex- wife of 5 time UFC Champion Randy “The Natural” Couture. The rest of the cast are Pyun regulars like Michael Pare (he’s really fallen on hard times did he?), Kevin Sorbo (the less said about his career- the better) and Sasha Mitchell.

Pyun predicts that Fulco will end up being a great star and for his (and everybody’s ) sake I hope he’s right ’cause without a charismatic lead this cheap, lo- fi SF action flick could easily end up being a complete train-wreck. Just behold insecure camera work and sub- par CGI bellow (coupled with a strange, STRANGE soundtrack choice).

Info via  http://www.dreadcentral.com

Worse News: Kickboxer Web Series

Posted: 28/05/2013 in Worse News
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         We recently covered the ridiculous (but fun) Kickboxer IV: The Aggressor but now we got some fascinating follow-up news!  Director of Kickboxer IV (and also Kickboxer II: The Road Back ) Albert Pyun is considering teaming up with Sasha Mitchell once again for another Kickboxing epic, this time in the form of 12 part web series and we even have an official synopsis (although it is an early draft and some things could change before the final product emerges). You may notice that hero’s name is changed from David to Daniel due to Pyun not possessing the rights for Kicboxer franchise (that’s also considered for a reboot by a big studio) but don’t let that bother you, he’s essentially the same character. Here’s the synopsis from the Pyun-man himself!

        “In hiding in South America for the past 20 years, happy working as blacksmith and raising his family off the grid in a small high mountain village in the Andes, Daniel (SASHA MITCHELL), is reluctantly drawn into a conflict between a drug cartel and his village. In the aftermath, an old friend of Daniel’s from his days running a gym, JOE ( Michael Dudikoff?), now a DEA agent stationed in the region, offers his help.In a bigger skirmish with Cartel soldiers recognize Daniel as an ex-kickboxing champion and set out to force him to fight in UFC style fights to the death the Cartel stages deep in the Amazon jungle and Cartel territory. In an attack, Daniel’s family is captured by the Cartel and force marched deep into the amazon jungle. Danny goes after the Cartel, and, with the help of a village elder and Joe, tracks the Cartel deep into the Amazon. In the process, Daniel is captured and forced to participate in a MMA event staged by a Cartel for the pleasure of all Cartel bosses worldwide. The Pay For View signal is pirated around the world so audiences watch Daniel using his old style Muay Thai and Kickboxing against modern MMA styles.

A Pay For View Cartel event with, for Daniel, the prize his family’s life.”

Pyun  plans to start filming as soon as he’s done with Cyborg Nemesis: The Dark Rift. It could be as early as July, and setting is interestingly Ecuador. He also confirmed that he would absolutely love to include Michael Dudikoff (American Ninja, Avenging Force) as a local DEA agent and Sasha’s ally. As they worked together before on the manic Radioactive Dreams it would be timely reunion for those two.

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Sasha Mitchell playing with his dog, as far as we know the dog doesn’t have a role in the new Kickboxer series, yet…

STARBARIANS (2012/ 13)

Posted: 02/05/2013 in Worse News
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While we close off our (extremely successful dare I say) Barbarian Month on WM I would like to present you one of my personal favorites. An  animated show by brilliant Harry Patridge (aka Happy Harry)who ingeniously combined Space Opera and Sword and Sorcery genres with his off beat humor to produce something that has authentic 80es Animated Show look and all the brutal carnage you can take.

I PRESENT YOU KILGAR AND HOGSTRONG- STARBARIANS!

Episode 1

Episode 1,5

Worse News: Lo Pan Style!

Posted: 22/04/2013 in Worse News
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Something we felt the urge to share with you good people! A brilliant tribute to Big Trouble in Little China, a gem of B- filmmaking by legendary horror/ SF/ action maestro John Carpenter. It’s crazy- ass fun ride in which ancient Chinese Kung Fu magic meets southern-American trucker badassness – with deadly consequences of course. Video is a fantastic mix of overly popular PSY’s Gangnam Style and some memorable scenes from this legendary flick! Surprisingly original Lo Pan, 80- something year old prolific cult- actor James Hong even makes an appearance, you can catch him in the elevator scene in 2:10!

For those who haven’t seen Big Trouble in Little China, bow your head in shame… and then watch this video.  That will be the start of your redemption.

Worse News: Deadliest Prey ends production!

Posted: 21/02/2013 in Worse News
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After some delays in production and an unsuccessful attempt of gathering finances for the project via Kickstarter fabled sequel to the most ridiculous Rambo rip-off ever is finally nearing completion (see under Deadly Prey). Skeptical at first after numerous pleas from the producer Fabio Soldani director of the original (and many other B- Action/Horror/ SF movies) David A Prior finally decided to give it a go one more time- with his brother and partner in crime Ted Prior also back, reprising his role of blond, mullet wearing, indestructible Vietnam vet Mike Denton!  Also back for the ride are  as incredibly evil Lt. Hogan and Fritz Matthews as Thorton (last seen without a hand and a scalp with the help of our favorite super- soldier Denton). We also have some additions to the franchize, most notably stunning brunet Tara Kleinpeter as deadly mercenary Sophia. Here are some pics to tickle your imagination until first (and probably the last) trailer comes around!

Mike Denton, never did like being captured by woman. Man on the other hand…

With a brand new arm, shooting better than ever!

Denton, back at doing what he does best.

Will this finally be the end of sadistic Lt. Hogan? Well if disemboweling doesn’t get him there’s always old age…

Verdict: It took him 25 years but Danton will finally have his revenge! And we’ll be there to see it (and review it), hell-yeah!

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